Hello all, I have tried out the AWA for GMAT Write 2 and was rated the following:
Total Score - 5
Analyzes the issue - 5
Supports ideas - 5
Organizes a coherent idea - 5
Language control - 6
Any comments to improve my score will be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance:)
Prompt:
The following appeared in a memorandum from the director of research and development at Ready-to-Ware, a software engineering firm.
The package of benefits and incentives that Ready-to-Ware offers to professional staff is too costly. Our quarterly profits have declined since the package was introduced two years ago, at the time of our incorporation. Moreover, the package had little positive effect, as we have had only marginal success in recruiting and training high-quality professional staff. To become more profitable again, Ready-to-Ware should, therefore, offer the reduced benefits package that was in place two years ago and use the savings to fund our current research and development initiatives.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument...Response:
The argument that is described has flaws in terms of logical reasoning and thus, stating an incorrect conclusion.
Firstly, the memorandum mentioned that quarterly profits declined since the incorporation of the new increased package of benefits and incentives. This may be correlated but not causal. The reason for the drop in profits may not be caused by the new package but by other factors, such as change in climate of competitors or the change in employees. The only way that can be shown that the new package has caused profits to diminish is to keep all other factors constant, but only change the package; however, this will be impossible. Hence more evidence must be shown that the package truly caused the profits to decline before it can be conclusive.
Secondly, it was mentioned that there was marginal success in recruiting and training high-quality professional staff. Without any concrete evidence given, it is hard to determine what is defined by marginal success. Furthermore, recruiting quality staff does not only come about with increased benefits and incentives, but there are many other factors contributing to it as well. For instance, the reason why Google employs quality staff is not only because it provides excellent benefits and incentives to staff, but because it is a well-established company with a superb reputation, it allows staff to use 20 percent of their time to work on personal projects that may ultimately contribute to the innovation of the company, and it strives to maintain and even improve their staff by buying over reputable companies, like Waze, and including their staff within Google's employees.
Lastly, the conclusion was therefore to offer the reduced benefits package that was put in place before the introduction of the revised increased package and using the additional funds to put into research and development. Offering a reduced benefits package may instead chase away high-quality potential employees from applying for the jobs in Ready-to-Ware as other companies may have a greater pull factor as a result. In addition, there was no evidence shown that putting more money into research and development will thus increase the quality of the workforce hired, hence it may not be a good idea to channel funds from the package of benefits and incentives to the research and development initiatives.
In conclusion, it would be good if the director of Read-to-Ware looks into more substantial evidences of how to improve the quality of the staff and communicates this to the existing staff so that they will understand better. Also, instead of assuming that links between declining profits and the introduction of the revised increase package are causal, it would serve the company well if the director looks into other factors that may have given rise to the declining profits and change those factors as well.