AWA review

Hi guys,

I just started studying for AWA. Below is my first AWA essay. I thought I'll post it up here to gain valuable insight from the group.

I highly appreciate your constructive insight/comment/critisism in advance. I look forward to all your valuable review. Thanks in advance!!

AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a trade publication for the insurance industry:

“Each generation of Americans has lived longer that the ones preceding it, as the national life expectancy has approached 80 years old in recent years. The progress of medical technology shows no sign of abating. Therefore, we can confidently predict that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

MY RESPONSE:
The writer believes that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety. But there are several reasons to doubt if new born children in America in the next decade can indeed live past the age of ninety.

First, though medical technology shows no sign of abating, the cost of medical insurance is increasing to a new level every year that normal American citizens are not able to afford new innovation of medical technology that could prevent their children from severe diseases.

Second, pollution to planet Earth has increased steadily over the years due to industrialization in United States. Therefore, the very air the children will breathe and water the new children will drink have been affected with chemicals harmful to human body which might degrade their health body from living longer.

To conclude, with medical technology being very expensive and planet Earth being polluted with air and water rigorously, the new children might not pass the life expectancy as their predecessor.