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AWA Template check

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Joined: 30 Jul 2017
Posts: 1

Kudos [?]: 0 [0], given: 3

AWA Template check [#permalink]

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New post 03 Sep 2017, 03:32
Hey wanted to know if the below AWA Template is good for a score of 6/8 ?

“The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration.”

In the passage, the author argues (tone of the passage) that it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration in order to protect the local economy. Support for this claim takes the form, primarily, of an assumption that immigration has put a downward pressure on the wages, especially for unskilled labor. On deeper analysis of the subject at hand, it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into account, leading to a number of flaws.

One such flaw is that the author is opposed to immigration of all types, when it is clearly stated in the passage that the problem is with the immigration of workers in the community. The passage does not indicate any other type of immigration as a problem. There can be a possibility that certain types of immigrants were actually helping the economy in some manner. For instance, immigrants who set up new businesses or provide employment to locals. In order to strengthen the argument, the author should also specify some information about other types of immigrants.

Another flaw, which significantly weakens the argument, is the assumption that reduced average compensation of unskilled labor will have a negative impact on the economy. It is possible that these wages were very high previously because of the scarcity of unskilled labor in the economy and immigration actually helped the local businesses to grow by earning more profit through reduced labor wages. To overcome such a flaw, the passage should reveal some more information on how the reduced compensation will affect the economy.

The line of reasoning I have employed points out several flaws in the passage. On closer examination of the matter, I conclude that the above passage is not logically sound.


Please do improve the template using a different font. Thanks.

Kudos [?]: 0 [0], given: 3

Senior Manager
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Joined: 30 Jan 2016
Posts: 321

Kudos [?]: 238 [0], given: 97

Location: United States (MA)
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Re: AWA Template check [#permalink]

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New post 03 Sep 2017, 08:11
reddyvjs wrote:
Hey wanted to know if the below AWA Template is good for a score of 6/8 ?

“The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration.”

In the passage, the author argues (tone of the passage) that it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration in order to protect the local economy. Support for this claim takes the form, primarily, of an assumption that immigration has put a downward pressure on the wages, especially for unskilled labor. On deeper analysis of the subject at hand, it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into account, leading to a number of flaws.

One such flaw is that the author is opposed to immigration of all types, when it is clearly stated in the passage that the problem is with the immigration of workers in the community. The passage does not indicate any other type of immigration as a problem. There can be a possibility that certain types of immigrants were actually helping the economy in some manner. For instance, immigrants who set up new businesses or provide employment to locals. In order to strengthen the argument, the author should also specify some information about other types of immigrants.

Another flaw, which significantly weakens the argument, is the assumption that reduced average compensation of unskilled labor will have a negative impact on the economy. It is possible that these wages were very high previously because of the scarcity of unskilled labor in the economy and immigration actually helped the local businesses to grow by earning more profit through reduced labor wages. To overcome such a flaw, the passage should reveal some more information on how the reduced compensation will affect the economy.

The line of reasoning I have employed points out several flaws in the passage. On closer examination of the matter, I conclude that the above passage is not logically sound.


Please do improve the template using a different font. Thanks.


The max score is 6. Your essay looks good. Check out this thread for the 6.0 template:
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... ml?fl=menu
_________________

+1 Kudos is the best way to say "Thank you!"

Kudos [?]: 238 [0], given: 97

Manager
Manager
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Joined: 29 Mar 2011
Posts: 116

Kudos [?]: 71 [0], given: 8

Location: India
Concentration: Strategy, Finance
GMAT 1: 750 Q50 V40
WE: Management Consulting (Consulting)
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Re: AWA Template check [#permalink]

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New post 05 Sep 2017, 22:42
reddyvjs wrote:
Hey wanted to know if the below AWA Template is good for a score of 6/8 ?

“The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration.”

In the passage, the author argues (tone of the passage) that it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration in order to protect the local economy. Support for this claim takes the form, primarily, of an assumption that immigration has put a downward pressure on the wages, especially for unskilled labor. On deeper analysis of the subject at hand, it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into account, leading to a number of flaws.

One such flaw is that the author is opposed to immigration of all types, when it is clearly stated in the passage that the problem is with the immigration of workers in the community. The passage does not indicate any other type of immigration as a problem. There can be a possibility that certain types of immigrants were actually helping the economy in some manner. For instance, immigrants who set up new businesses or provide employment to locals. In order to strengthen the argument, the author should also specify some information about other types of immigrants.

Another flaw, which significantly weakens the argument, is the assumption that reduced average compensation of unskilled labor will have a negative impact on the economy. It is possible that these wages were very high previously because of the scarcity of unskilled labor in the economy and immigration actually helped the local businesses to grow by earning more profit through reduced labor wages. To overcome such a flaw, the passage should reveal some more information on how the reduced compensation will affect the economy.

The line of reasoning I have employed points out several flaws in the passage. On closer examination of the matter, I conclude that the above passage is not logically sound.


Please do improve the template using a different font. Thanks.

You can get your essay rated for free at http://www.gmatawa.com/
The template by chineseburned shared in the post above is a tried and tested one for getting 5 and above. I myself used it and got a 5.5.
_________________

+1 kudos if you find this useful
GMAT 1: 750 (Q50; V40; IR 8; AWA 5.5)
Debrief: https://gmatclub.com/forum/first-attempt-750-q50-v40-ir-8-awa-245721.html

Kudos [?]: 71 [0], given: 8

Re: AWA Template check   [#permalink] 05 Sep 2017, 22:42
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