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# Can anyone please rate my first AWA attempt?Will be highly appreciated

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Intern
Joined: 07 Jan 2018
Posts: 5
Can anyone please rate my first AWA attempt?Will be highly appreciated  [#permalink]

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08 Jan 2018, 12:20
The following appeared in a memo from the regional manager of Luxe Spa, a chain of high-end salons.
"Over 75% of households in Parksboro have Jacuzzi bathtubs. in addition, the average family income in Parksboro is 50% higher than the national average, and a local store reorts record-high sales of the most costly brands of hair and body care products. With so much being spent on personal care, Parksboro will be a profitable location of a new Luxe Spa- a salon that offers premium services at prices that are above average."

The argument above states that Parksboro will be a profitable location for a new Luxe Spa and cites statistics in reference to Parksboro's residents to support the claim. The argument relies on several unsupported assumptions and ill-defined figures and therefore fails to be persuasive.
First, the argument relies on the assumption that the data reported by a local store and the higher average family income of the residents of Parksboro is an accurate representation of the purchasing power of the residents. The argument assumes that reports from one local store is a strong statistical evidence highlighting the inclination of the residents of Parksboro towards high end salon services. This evidence, however, fails to provide a comprehensive evaluation of other factors that might have influenced the sales of the expensive products. It is possible that the reports recorded by the store surveyed is not in accordance with the sales of other stores in Parksboro. Hence, this evidence is flawed. Second, the argument emphasises on the higher average family income in Parksboro in comparison to the national average in order to highlight the spending power of the residents of Parksboro. This evidence is, however, not pursuasive enough. The argument specifies no relation between the average income and the willingness to spend money on premium salon services. Also, the national average might be low and the relative comparison will then weaken the argument. Third, the manager quotes specific statistics about the percentage of residents with Jacuzzis in a scant attempt to support his assertions. This is a weak argument since the manager does not mention the prize of the bathtubs or the relation between jacuzzi bathtubs and the willingness to spend money on salon services. Residents buying Jacuzzis for their houses might not be interested in spending money on spa services. If the argument had mentioned specific statistics about high percentage of residents interested in buying jacuzzi bathtubs that included special spa treatment offers, it would have strengthened the argument. Finally, the assumption of the regional manager that Parksboro will be a profitable location is an unsupported leap of faith. The regional manager of Luxe Spa completely disregards other important factors like costs, maintainance charges, labour laws etc. in Parksboro while evaluating the profits. The expenditure on personal care alone does not constitute a logical argument in favor of the regional manager's claims.
Because the argument leaves out several key issues, it is not sound or pursuasive. If it included the items discussed above instead of solely relying on ill-defined statistics, the argument would have been more thorough and convincing.
examPAL Representative
Joined: 01 Mar 2017
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Re: Can anyone please rate my first AWA attempt?Will be highly appreciated  [#permalink]

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10 Jan 2018, 08:30
1
Hey dembivibhuti,
You are very much on the right track. You successfully identify and explain several flaws, and thus are halfway there.
What you need to work on is your structure. As is, you just have a list of flaws with no clear separation or relation between them. What you need to be going for is 2-3 separate paragraphs which each extensively present a different critique. In your case, you criticize the three different statistics cited on their own, but you could have combined them into one general critique - the statistics presented don't necessarily imply a high likelihood of being spa consumers. Still, since it does seem likely that someone with a high income, a Jacuzzi and care products would want to use a spa - it would help to offer an alternative explanation (maybe each of these is a different group? maybe because they already have a jacuzzi).

[url=: https://exampal.com/gmat/section/analyt ... ntent=AWAA]I recommend taking a look at our AWA lesson on examPAL[/url]
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Re: Can anyone please rate my first AWA attempt?Will be highly appreciated   [#permalink] 10 Jan 2018, 08:30
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# Can anyone please rate my first AWA attempt?Will be highly appreciated

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