Can you please rate my essay

Would really really appreciate it, I have my GMAT day after tomorrow and somehow I postponed practicing AWA till today. This is my first attempt.


The following appeared in a memorandum from the assistant manager of Pageturner Books:
“Over the past two years, Pageturner’s profits have decreased by 5 percent, even though we have added a popular café as well as a music section selling CDs and tapes. At the same time, we have experienced an increase in the theft of merchandise. We should therefore follow the example of Thoreau Books, which increased its profits after putting copies of its most frequently stolen books on a high shelf behind the payment counter. By doing likewise with copies of the titles that our staff reported stolen last year, we too can increase profitability.”

Pageturner has added a café and music section to its book shop yet its profits have decreased by 5percent over the past two years. At the same time there has been an increase the number thefts of the merchandises. The author of the argument believes that Pageturner can increase its profits be following Thoreau Books strategy of putting copies of its most frequently stolen books on a high shelf behind the payment counter. The argument makes several questionable assumptions and provides very little evidence to justify its conclusion. Thus, based solely on the evidence presented, it is hard to accept the author’s conclusion.

The primary issue with the argument lies in the assumption that the decrease in profits is mainly due to increased thefts. We need to understand what merchandises are frequently stolen and what is the total value of stolen goods. Is it higher than 5 percent of the revenue? If yes, are the merchandises only books or are a mix of books, music cds and café products. If not, then there are may be other reason for the decrease in profitability and need to be considered.

Second, profit can decrease due to two reasons, either the costs have increased or the revenue decreased. It may be the case that the number of customers of Pageturner has decreased in the last two years or the sales per customer has decreased leading to reduced revenue and thus lower profits. Another case can be that the costs such as employee costs, inventory costs and operational costs, that Pageturner has to incur due to the new café and music section has increased in past two years. This may also lead to decrease in profitability of Pageturner.

Third, the author proposes that to increase profits Pageturner should put copies of its most frequently stolen books on a high shelf behind the payment counter. While this may help in reducing theft to certain extent, what needs to be analyzed whether inaccessibility to books will affect sales as many customers prefer to hold the book and to read the prelude before buying it.

Thus in its current form the author’s argument seems illogical and unconvincing. The author would be able to justify his position considerable if he provided details of the stolen products, their value and product mix.