Can you please review my first Issue Essay, I would really appreciate
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29 Jan 2015, 22:32
SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Middleburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
The argument was trying to prove that Supercorp has made the the best decision in moving its headquarters to Corporateville. However, the argument is flawed due to several reasons and assumptions.
Firstly, the argument assumes a positive correlation between the superiority of a place and the number of homeowners, which definitely undermines the argument, because owning houses does not necessarily mean having a better income. In a lot of places around the world, in order to own a big house, one needs to take loans from banks that are sometimes too big and unaffordable to pay back. Later on, when the amount of homeowners who depend on loans increase, it creates a housing bubble which might cause huge financial instability and economic hardship just like the 2008 financial crisis. So, measuring the superiority of a place cannot be totally attributed to the number of homeowners.
Moreover, the argument depends on an employee survey to prove that workers prefer non-urban areas. While this survey could of course show a trend of a certain segment of people if it was inclusive enough. Depending on the result of this survey is definitely not ideal, as it is only limited to workers, overlooking the worker's family preferences, who might not favour such transition away from urban areas, seeing the facilities provided like education and more modernised hospitals.
Also, there is an assumption in this argument outlining the direct relationship between the safety and cost of living of a certain place to the amount of taxes in that place. The argument ignores several other factors which determine the cost of living, like the nature of the market itself, including the supply and demand on certain items.
The safety of the place could also depend on the social behaviour of the population, the system and laws that are being enforced in Coporateville.