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Could you please review my essay. Thank you!

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Intern
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Joined: 14 Jan 2016
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Could you please review my essay. Thank you!  [#permalink]

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New post 14 Jan 2016, 06:48
A Company Has Announced That It Wishes To Build A Large Factory Near Your Community. Discuss The Advantages And Disadvantages Of This New Influence On Your Community. Do You Support Or Oppose The Factory? Explain Your Position.

Recently a company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near my community. Against this background many of our citizens are discussing the positive and negative impacts that it could have on our community. In the following I would like to discuss both sides with my own perception.

First, it is agreed that the building of a factory has a lot of positive effects for example the creation of new jobs, higher tax revenues and better infrastructure, therefor a lot of people would benefit from this decision. For instance, through higher tax revenues our local counciel would be able to invest more money in other fields like safety, education or environment. Furthermore the creation of new jobs could open up the possibility for redidents to work close to home. Last, by setting up a factory it could be possible that also our current infrastructure would be improved. Because of the fact that today many companies are investing a lot of money in guaranteeing smooth logistics processes.

Second, on the other side, setting up a new factory has also the potential to create a series of problems, especially environmental problems like the pollution of air through the release of toxic gases or an increase of the noise level which is suspected of causing certain health problems too.Today, the newspapers are full of warnings about the effects of noise pollution starting from sleep disturbances over high blood pressure up to hearing loss. Therefor many people of our community could be forced to move away in order to protect their health.

To sum up, after weighing all the advantages and disadvantages as aforesaid I would definately welcome the decision, because I have the opinion that the building of a large factory would bring more advantages than disadvantages to our community.



Is the use of the conditional form correct or should I use the present from?
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Re: Could you please review my essay. Thank you!  [#permalink]

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New post 14 Jan 2016, 07:47
Definitely you will get 5 or above. Few spelling mistakes and punctuation error.
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Re: Could you please review my essay. Thank you!   [#permalink] 14 Jan 2016, 07:47
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Could you please review my essay. Thank you!

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