Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily G

“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will
help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month.
Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in the Gazette
for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

In this argument, the author asserts that advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help grocery stores in Marston area increase their sales. To substantiate this conclusion, the author cites the results of a study conducted last month showing that thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston advertised in Gazette for four days, and clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad each time one or more of the thirty items was purchase. Tow-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative, and more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to be somewhat convincing, but close scrutiny reveals that the line of reasoning employed is invalid and hence the conclusion is probably misleading due to several critical logic flaws. In short, the author’s analysis does not lend strong support to the author’s claim, and lack of credibility in reasoning makes the conclusion problematic.

First, the method of conducting the study commits several mistakes. In the study, clerks from the store asked to shopper that they had read the ad when a shopper purchased each time one or more of the 30 items. However, this question violates the essential virtue of survey, neutrality of questionnaire. Thus, this study as a whole loses credibility to represent the effect of advertising in Gazette. To gain confidence of the study, therefore make the conclusion more convincing, the study should construct the questionnaire obeying the neutrality. For example, rather than asking whether a shopper had read the ad, asking what makes a shopper choose the item brings more credibility in the study.

Second, the author omits to recognize that the sample from the study can not represent the population. Scilicet, the size of the sample is too small to generalize. In the study, only 200 shoppers were asked about the ad, and among them, roughly 133 customers affirmative about the ad. Furthermore, approximately 67 customers among them spent over $100 at the store. However, this evidence is questionable, since the study does not offer absolute number of total customers to evaluate validity. Knowing that this study had conducted for four days, I infer total number of customers who visited a store for four days would be much higher than 200 customer. Even though the number counts near 200, this study suffers from lack of the number of samples. Therefore, in every aspects, this study has failed to lend strong buttress to the author’s claim.

To sum up, the author fails to provide adequate justification for the argument. The premise cited is not only incomplete but also dubious. Therefore, to support the conclusion of the argument more logically convincing, the author should include the above-mentioned assumptions as additional evidence. If so, the argument would be much more persuasive.

Thank you so much !

suminha - In short, this AWA attempt is very good and such a passage could very well fetch you a score of 5.5 and above. I am happy you have incorporated all feedback and strengthened your writing; also, I notice fewer grammar issues. Overall, it is a solid passage. Please make sure to practice a few AWA from the official guide; allocate a good 2-3 min to proofread your writing every time so that it becomes a habit. All the best.

Thank you so much DisciplinedPrep !
All kudos to you

I am open to suggestions for improvement. Please evaluate it
Prompt:

The following appeared as part of a promotional campaign to sell advertising space in the Daily Gazette to grocery stores in the Marston area:
“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month. Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in The Gazette for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

Essay:
The above argument is flawed for numerous reasons. The claim made by the author stating, “Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales." is unsubstantiated because of the number of unwarranted assumptions made by the author to prove this.

Firstly, the author has stated the evidence from a study which was conducted in the downtown Marston area. It is not necessary that the other areas of Marston will produce similar results. Many factors like the population of the area, type of clientele, type of locality etc. affects the sales. The author has failed to account for any of these factors while stating the study as an evidence for the guaranteed increase in sales through advertising in the Daily Gazette.

Moreover, It is mentioned that each time when one or more of the 30 items were purchased by a customer then at least two thirds of those customers had read the ad. But, this does not mean that the customer bought the discounted items because of the ad. It can be the case that the items were essential items, and the customer would have bought them even without the sale.

Furthermore, the statement that , more than half of the buyers who read the ad spent more than 100 dollars does not support how it will lead to an increased profit. It might be the case that remaining percentage of the total customers spent substantially fewer than the 100 dollars. Hence, this data does not validate the increased sales of other items as well.

Lastly, the author could have strengthened argument by providing the relevant data corresponding to several other locations of the Marston area, and by giving the information pertaining to the type of customers who visited the store, and the items which were on the sale.

In conclusion, the author has failed to make a convincing argument regarding the increase in sales from advertising in the Daily Gazette.

PS: You are expected to write a little more in terms of the quantity of the text.

Good Luck

Hi all, Could you please evaluate this essay I have written.

I think I got the whole essence of the argument wrong. COuld you please give me some feedback on this apart from the computer generated feedback?

My Essay:

The argument claims that in a study conducted; 30 items from a grocery store were put on sale and advertised in the Daily Gazette for four days the revenues of the store increased as two third of the 200 shoppers read the advertisement. It further stated that more than half of the shoppers who read the advertisement spent over $100. This argument later concludes that advertising with promotional offers and discounts in the Daily Gazette will help stores to increase sales. This argument lacks any evidence and is flawed in several ways.

Firstly, the argument readily assumes that sample of 200 shoppers in their study equally represents the whole population of the Marston town and that the purchasing behaviour of these 200 shoppers resonates with the population of the town. This statement is extremely questionable as the sample of study must represent the whole population rendering the inferences inaccurate and biased. This statement would’ve been valid if the number of shoppers at least represented 20-25% of the population.

Secondly, the author claims that providing discounts in your store will guarantee an increase in sales as per the study mentioned. This claim is flawed and lacks vital information of the revenue generated from those 200 shoppers and whether the sales actually increased or no. To illustrate further- the author should have a matrix with quantifiable data proving the purchasing behaviour of residents of Marston before the discount promotion and after the promotion. Without this quantifiable data the conclusion that sales will increase due to discounts provided is considered invalid and illogical.

Lastly, the argument further assumes that the goods kept on sale are in demand in the market. This assumption is also incorrect as there is no evidence of the demand in the Marston town. What if the items on sale aren’t required by any of the 200 shoppers? What if the items on sale are the least interesting products in the grocery store? Without any justifiable answer to these questions this assumption is considered flawed.

In conclusion, the whole argument that suggests a reducing the price of selected grocery items will increase sales is questionable. To strengthen this the author should look into the flaws mentioned above and take actions accordingly in order to attract more grocery store owners. Without the required evidence and information this argument stands invalid and open to debate.

Good Luck