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Evalutate my toefl essay plzz..

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Intern
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Joined: 20 Jun 2018
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Evalutate my toefl essay plzz..  [#permalink]

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New post 25 Jul 2018, 06:41
Why do you think people attend college or university?

People attend colleges and universities due to a myriad of reasons. I believe that people acquire knowledge about the particular field which they want to master. During school life, students are taught a wide range of subjects. Once they complete their school life, they are very much focused on achieving the goals that they planned to achieve.

Before attending colleges we study subjects such as arts, histories, science and many more. Though this subjects are useful for providing people with basic knowledge, however it is the college where people learn about specific fields. A student attends college or universities to knowledge about fields which they can’t acquire at school level. Further a number of people attend colleges in order to get assistantships and scholarships so that they can fulfill the needs of the family. Many colleges provide research assistantship with benefits such as fee waive and stipends. Also many universities have tie-ups with big firms. This helps the students to register for development courses at reasonable cost.

Also in corporate world, getting a job is very difficult. Colleges and universities provide students with on-campus placements. This helps them to apply for jobs from the campus. The college also provides people with post-graduate courses. The universities give people access to technologies which as an individual cannot afford. This benefits help the people to do research about the ongoing problems and the problems that will be faced in the future. The university has the most experienced people working there as faculties. The experience and knowledge share by such faculties help the people to achieve their goals. They acts as mentors and help students with their projects and provide them new ideas. Almost all the universities have well infrastructure libraries, laboratories and research departments which provide them access to resources to learn new things.

The universities play a major role in shaping the life of a student. The facilities and technologies provided to the students is the reason why a number of people attend colleges. A degree from a well reputed university always brings a good fortune to the people.
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Evalutate my toefl essay plzz..  [#permalink]

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New post 25 Jul 2018, 07:27
I'm no expert so I cannot evaluate your essay. I hope you receive expert advice. However, I don't think the 'we' used in your second paragraph is needed.
'We' as in, you and the examiner, or you and your fellow students? But either of them is not suitable, given that you are not identified as part of the students in the question and so should strive to keep things in perspective.


Good luck!
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Re: Evalutate my toefl essay plzz..  [#permalink]

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New post 27 Jul 2018, 10:51
Hi karandave97,

I'd highly recommend to watch instruction videos here:

https://gmatclub.com/forum/toefl-instru ... 46203.html

Pay attention to the last video on coherence and transition words.

Hope it helps!
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Re: Evalutate my toefl essay plzz.. &nbs [#permalink] 27 Jul 2018, 10:51
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