Experts please!! review my essay (Thanks in advance)
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20 Jul 2017, 03:30
The following appeared in a proposal from the development office at Platonic University:
“Because Platonic University has had difficulty in meeting its expenses over the past three years, we need to find new ways to increase revenues. We should consider following the example of Greene University, which recently renamed itself after a donor who gave it $100 million. If Platonic University were to advertise to its alumni and other wealthy people that it will rename either individual buildings or the entire university itself after the donors who give the most money, the amount of donations would undoubtedly increase.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
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Author proposes a solution to increase revenues by naming buildings after the donors. He believes that such a solution would help in the growth of revenues. Argument is vulnerable to the criticism that renaming of buildings cannot be shown as the cause for donation. Thus, a wrong causal relationship makes a baseless & unfounded argument.
Greene University & Platonic University are presumed to similar but no grounds are provided to believe in such a presumption. Just because Greene University gets revenue by renaming its building does not ipso facto imply that Platonic University would get one too. One can explain this by a simple analogy that apples & oranges are not the same. We can illustrate this by showing that Platonic University can be a not for profit University, which only has departments for humanities & social sciences ,in contrast, Greene University could be a for profit university which conducts stem as well as management courses. In light of such information, the argument doesn’t hold.
Also, the author implies a causal relationship between renaming buildings & the reason for donation. Such an implication is unsubstantiated within the argument. The reason for donation could be multiple other factors that may not have any relevance to renaming buildings. Few reasons for donation could be dedicated research in areas specified by the donor or purely philanthropical reason. Thus, it is unjustified to imply such a cause & effect relationship, when no evidence is provided to support it.
The argument can be strengthened by showing how similar both universities are & proving the cause & effect relationship. Only then would the argument sound more convincing & plausible.
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