Experts pls help in rating my first ever AWA

I wouldn't worry so much about limiting to 250. Examples do in fact make your writing more interesting and specific -- so, the more you can do there the better. There won't be a fact-checker, so your examples can be what you want them to be. Variation in word/sentence length can only help with score performance.

Good luck!!

-Brian

Hi Brian,

I'm posting mine as a reply. Please do read and rate my essay. Thank you very much.

Hi!

Could you please score my AWA essay? I would appreciate specifics on the reasoning, flaw selection, etc., along with the score. Thank you very much.

“Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company’s profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.


MY RESPONSE:
The manufacturer's conclusion that reducing prices of all drinks would increase the company's profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of its consumers is based on many questionable factors and there is little factual evidence to substantiate the inference.

Firstly, the manufacturer presumes that the promotional price reductions caused the increase in unit sales and states nothing to provide support for this assumption. Some other factor could very well be the driving force in increasing sales. For instance, if the unit sales of energy drinks has increased across all companies that manufacture energy drinks then something else other than the drop in price is the cause it. The author can strengthen this evidence by providing evidence that shows that the price reduction is indeed the cause.

Secondly, the author fails to mentions any details of the data set that was used for the survey, so it is likely that the consumers who took the survey were not well representative of the entire consumer base. For example, if the number was actually considerably smaller than the actual consumer base then it is insufficient to draw conclusion based on the data collected. Further, the survey could have targeted only the consumers who were price sensitive thereby producing biased results. The author should have provided information on how the survey was conducted.

Thirdly, nothing is mentioned about the margins on all the drinks. Perhaps some have lower margins than others which would ultimately result in a loss. Also, nothing is mentioned about the length of the promotion, which is also a crucial factor to consider.

Lastly, dropping prices of all drinks could result in consumers doubting the quality of product and may seem desperate and this would have an adverse effect.

Based on the above mentioned points, the conclusion drawn by the manufacturer is weak.

Please do reply. Thanks!