First attempt to AWA from a non-native speaker. rate or feedback?
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24 Jan 2016, 09:13
Hey, I am just starting my preparation for GMAT. This was the first essay that i wrote.. can somebody give me feedback and approximate rate? Thanks
The argument above states that the primary focus of the company for the upcoming year should be to increase the number of visitors on their website, by any means, given that over the past two years, 3% of their visitors have turned into buyers. Many factors are not considered in this argument. On one hand, the company’s strategy relies on the fact that, similar to the next two years, 3% of the visitors will buy from them. However, it is statistically not accurate to rely on the performance of the last two years as it is way too short to predict next year’s results. On the other hand, the company does not consider increasing the percentage of visitors that turns into buyers in order to achieve higher sales in the future.
The concerned company seems confident that, since 3% of their visitors over the past two years have turned to to be buyers, this rate will be similar for the upcoming year. In a world that is constantly evolving, it is statistically not accurate to rely on a 2-year performance to predict the next year performance as many factors can impact the company’s ratio of buyers vs. visitors. For example, the company may have new competitors with more competitive products, an extraordinary event can cause damage to the company’s reputation, etc.
Also, rather than focusing on the number of visitors, by any mean, the company should also work on increasing their ratio of visitors vs. buyers. The company's ideas of improving the search engine and increasing the advertising on their website are good but they should not be developed with the only purpose of increasing the number of visitors, but also to increase the sales through the website. A more attractive design of the website, a safe payment process, a broader products offering, are other idea that could help the company’s sales. Hiring a marketing agency specialized in the design of sales website could also be an option to consider in this case.
In summary, I believe the argument of the company to focus only on increasing the number of visitors on their site is not appropriate as the ratio of visitors vs. buyers on their website can be completely different for the upcoming year even though it was stable over the past two years. The company should look into increasing not only the number of visitors on their website, but also increasing the percentage of visitors that turns into buyers.