Got accepted to a good program. Yet, I'm grief-stricken

Question

Hi All,

It's been a long time since I've visited this site. Even as I type this, I am overcome with conflicting feelings of joy, sadness, relief, disappointment, and resignation.

I first started studying for my GMAT in Fall 2012. Since I want to spare everyone the details of my long story, I'll just say that through a series of events, it wasn't until just recently that I was finally able to get a single application in.
When I was initially studying for the GMAT, my top choice was Chicago Booth. And I think I definitely had at least a chance of getting in based on my background and work experience. If not, I was looking at other schools such as Cornell Johnson and Michigan Ross. I had 5 schools picked out that I wanted to go to. The last on my list was IU Kelley.

In the end, I wasn't able to apply to any of the other schools due to timing with work and moving internationally. Honestly, I didn't even think I would be able to apply anywhere this year, but Kelley still had a late R4 deadline that I was barely able to make. And surely enough, I was accepted. And I'm really grateful for that.

But there's just this lingering sadness in me that I not only am not going to one of my top choices, but that I never got a chance to even submit an application to see how it would have went. And again, Kelley was on my list so I'm truly grateful. But even now as I type this or see the names of some of the schools I was interested in everywhere on this website, I am washed over with a sense of grief.

Does anybody else have a similar experience? You were able to get into a school you were targeting, but it was towards the lower end and you feel crippled with jealousy towards those who got accepted to your top choice schools? I'm still looking very forward to joining Kelley this fall, but I just hope this feeling doesn't linger and spoil the experience for me. My largest hangup stems from the fact that I will probably be working internationally, and while Kelley is a very well respected school in the US, it carries very little brand equity on an international scale. And I guess that's where I'm having the most trouble getting over this.

If anybody could share their experiences or otherwise talk me down from the ledge, I would be most indebted to your kindness :cry:

hugoness · Answer

Hi kdog28

I haven´t applied yet, so I have not been in your situation, or anything like it, but I´d like to offer you my thoughts, for what they may be worth.

First of all, congratulations for your admission at Kelley; it is a great school. With that being said, I do think that you should not go to a certain school if you are not convinced, because it is a great amount of money and time that you are investing. Nevertheless, it sounds like you really like Kelley, otherwise you wouldn´t had applied in the fisrt place. So, you have been admitted to one of the schools you wanted to attend, which in the end is the goal of any of us who are here.

On the other hand, if you really think that Booth, or any other school, represent a significant increase in the possibilities of achieving your goals (work abroad), or they are like dream schools, wait and go with your initial plan of applying to those five you had in your list. But, then you are assuming a risk: to end up empty-handed. So, that is the thing you have to weight. (I am not familiar enough with Kelley international palcement as to give you an specific opinion here).

Therefore, think about it. If Kelley was in your initial list, it is because you considered it one of your top choices, and you liked it enough to give it a go this year. I personally wouldn´t turn down an offer from a school that is in my shorlist, even if it was not my first or second choice, unless there is a very good reason behind it. Achieving my goals would be one of them.

Hope it helps, although it is a very personal decision. Keep us posted

SamuraiJack · Answer

This is an easy decision if you are going to beat yourself up every time you are in Bloomington and thinking about what could have happened, then you definitely should wait and apply next year.

But if you are trying to get a bigger brand equity then neither Ross nor Johnson are particularly awesome compared to Kelley. Also, brand of a school depends on where internationally you are going to work and what you are gonna be doing? If you want to work in CPG or Manufacturing then Kelley would be fine. If you trying to do MBB or PE/VC then it is not going to be such a great choice.

Unless you can get into one of those schools that almost everyone knows about then the brand equity does not really translate perfectly. So, if you think you can get into a Chicago Booth next year then go for that.

Internationally is a big place without specifying where this supposed international place is it is hard to quantify.

Disclosure: As a Kelley undergrad who works internationally I don't really find the brand equity to be very different with mid tier schools after the real top ones. What I mean is that if you go to the Harvard, Wharton, Princeton, LSE (similar schools) then you are golden but really after those schools it is almost a wide open field. I work with people who graduated from local universities, from lower Ivy League schools like Brown & Dartmouth, from schools like Michigan, UNC etc but also from schools like Princeton and LSE. This is really a undergraduate perspective. But my firm does not really hire outside the top 10-12 business schools when it comes to MBA grads. This might be because of the fact that I work in an industry that is dominated by prestige. I think I am contradicting myself but I work in PE firm so what I am trying to say really is if you want to be PE/VC/HF or MBB then wait and apply to the better schools or else Welcome to the IU family.

DefyingGravity · Answer

The cost of b-school is way too high to be "grief stricken" about your option. I'd suggest you reapply next year to your other schools, assuming you have a strong profile with a decent shot of being accepted.

Posted from my mobile device

kdog28 · Answer

Thank you guys for the feedback and comments.

There are a few factors at play here which originally led me to apply at all this year, instead of just waiting until next year given that I'd missed most of the deadlines anyways. One is that I just left my most recent job and moved back here to the US from Asia (this is what I meant by "international" - particular the pacific, ie HK, Japan, AU). So either I would have sat around and basically been unemployed for a year, or even if I did find a job here in the US, that would have just meant that I work for only a year or so just to try to leave to go to school at that point, which I honestly don't think I could afford adding onto my already shakey resume as far as number of jobs in a relatively short period of time (some were my choice to leave, to pursue a better job, but at other times I fell mercy to the Euro debt crisis, as I was working at a European bank.) The second factor that made me hesitant about not applying anywhere until next year is that I now find myself on the wrong side of 30. Simply put, I am a depreciating asset as far as my candidacy is concerned.

Finance is my field, hence Booth was my top pick. Cornell felt like it would be a good fit and I noticed they had a strong alumni presence in many areas of Asia. You're right as far as Ross not really carrying much more brand equity internationally, and so I was looking at a couple of the UK programs too - namely, LSE and Oxford. I have experience as a trader, and I still want to work in finance, but whereas in the past I was much more interested in PE/HF/IB work, right now I would be happy with a finance role like FP&A at a fortune 500 or something like that.

I really appreciate your guys' advice though. I think if my circumstances permitted me a little more flexibility, I would give the idea of waiting until next year more thought, but after what has been a very difficult year and a half for me, both personally and professionally, I'm reluctant to roll the dice this time around. I should definitely count my blessings that I was able to get in anywhere at all, much less a school I originally had on my list. I'm definitely still a little sad, but again, I truly am grateful about getting into Kelley. I have several family members who went there and I know that it's a solid school.

Samurai Jack, what has been your experience with the Kelley name internationally? Furthermore, what are your thoughts about its MBA program? Specifically, is/was Kelley a school on your list of schools you were targeting? Or are you trying to reach higher?

hugoness · Answer

This is never an easy decision, but it looks like you have a clear idea of what you want to do, and that is the best first step to anything. Best of luck at Kelley!

SamuraiJack · Answer

Kelley undergrad is regarded as a solid program. It has a good presence in Mainland, HK and SG. Cannot talk about AU or Japan. You won't get a Goldman front office gig with a Kelley undergrad unless you have some awesome experiences. I have seen two groups of people in my adventures in SG. One group that knows about IU Kelley and thinks it is a good school and then there is another that has no idea about IU or Kelley. In that case I usually had to tell them especially in a job interview scenario that it is a top 10 undergrad business school in the US. This sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. But Asia HR has respect for US/UK degrees a lot more than they have for their local universities. So even a undergrad at SUNY Buffalo would find it so difficult to land an ops/middle office role at a BB firm.(true story)

I don't really know much about the Kelley MBA program. The undergrads and MBAs have limited or no contact. I have never met an MBA in all my years at IU. I don't really know much about their finance placements, I always read or heard they are known for their marketing program which is a little weird for me because Kelley undergrad almost everyone gets a finance degree. Kdog, I think the road not taken might haunt you for the rest of your life if you end up at Kelley and don't get the right jobs you wanted and etc. As I said before if you think you can crack Booth or at least I would say Yale (although not that well known in the US as a very top business school it carries a lot weight in Asia) go for it dude.

In other answers to your questions, when I first thought about the MBA process, I had Kelley in my list. Mostly because of my love for IU than anything else. But I don't think I would go to a school like Kelley even if they pay me to go because at this stage in my career it will hurt me more than it will help me. I am really reconsidering an MBA altogether. I already have a Masters in Finance and also going to have CFA charter later this year so I might just go into research long term and not do this take two years off for the MBA crap. But the only way I might go if I get into a school like Booth or Columbia with a preference for Booth.

brandon432 · Answer

Not to be too cynical, but I think you should ask if life has calmed down enough for you to be able to put forth a concerted effort to reapply next year. It sounds like you have a lot going on. If you weren't able to find the time to apply to your dream schools, what will be different this time? Kelley is a great program. Sometimes a bird in the hand is worth hanging on to...

Whatever you decide, best of luck.

Whatever you decide, best of luck.

Asmn · Answer

Wow...you must be the saddest person in this forum!

You get into a good program and have all these options ahead of you...and still you're miserable as f@ck?

Go talk to someone to fix up your head first...then worry about bschool!

domotron · Answer

I am going to be rather blunt and won't sugar coat my response too much. I think you have been extremely fortunate to get into Kelley. Even if you are a qualified applicant, the last round for ANY school is tough so you should pat yourself on the back first of all rather than beat yourself up. Normally, I am in the camp of don't go to a school if you don't think it's the right choice. As DefyingGravity said, it's a hell of a lot of money to be unsure and miserable. However in your case, I would probably to go Kelley rather than try again in R1 because:

1) It sounds like you are currently unemployed. Unemployment would be a HUGE red flag in your application. I consider it highly unlikely that schools like Booth, Ross, Johnson would overlook that.

2) Shakey resume / work history. This is tough enough to explain away without having 1) above. The combo I think is too big to overcome in your applications. Frankly, there are so many qualified applicants that schools like Booth, Ross or Johnson won't need to go out on a limb to admit you.

3) Age. It doesn't sound like you can spare a couple of years to rebuild your resume before trying again.

If you didn't want to go to Kelley then you would not have applied. I bet if you had a chance and applied to Booth, Ross, Johnson and Kelley and only got admitted to Kelley, you would be happy. Unless you got into HBS or Stanford, there are ALWAYS better ranked schools that are more reknown internationally. For example, if you ask a regular person in the UK about Booth or UChicago, a large majority of people will look at you blankly. A better ranked school doesn't necessarily mean better brand internationally. In other areas like the Middle East, Insead is a far bigger name than a bunch of US schools.

I think your only alternative would be to find work asap and then potentially consider a part time or EMBA later on. Attending Kelley will probably afford you the time you need to find a better job rather than taking the first thing that comes up.

Finally, have you considered why you never managed to submit an application for your other schools. I don't know the ins and outs of your personal situation but there are people who manage to submit apps who work 100hour+ weeks or are stuck in rural Africa working on NGOs with limited access to internet.

brandon432 · Answer

There is no reason to be this rude in a response, ever. People come here for advice. OP's situation deserves some tough questions, but s/he certainly doesn't deserve to be called names. Grow up.

EngineeringMBA · Answer

I was in a similar scenario last year and decided to reapply instead, although I had many other reasons not to go to school (I only had 2 years WE, I really didn't feel ready to jump in yet, and wanted to give it another shot, timing wasn't quite right, etc.) right away. I would say it really depends on the circumstances, but if you don't feel you can significantly alter your application profile and you're at the right time to jump to school, maybe it's good to just jump to school.

But I definitely know exactly how you feel, it's sort of a tough spot to be in. It's the one time we'll be back in school (and probably won't be again) so you have to be completely happy and satisfied with your choice.

But I definitely know exactly how you feel, it's sort of a tough spot to be in. It's the one time we'll be back in school (and probably won't be again) so you have to be completely happy and satisfied with your choice.

AbhiJ · Answer

Its a valid statement provided:

a.) OP has a strong profile with a decent shot of being accepted next year.
b.) OP is enjoying his job right now.

Many applicants to MBA programs are looking for a career change and are looking to move into the next level. For such people delaying 1 year is a less than desirable.

mbagrad2014 · Answer

I graduated from UNC MBA in recent past.
Regret ever since --- severe shortage of jobs for Asian applicants.
Wish I had missed a year and re-applied to other business colleges.

I can also feel your pain.
In Buddhist philosophy it is taught that you shouyld just move on.

Asmn · Answer

'grief stricken'...'crippled with jealousy'...'talk me down from the ledge'

really?

dude's either trollin or he needs a kick in the head!

JatinBhandari1 · Answer

I will share a similar experience. One of our applicants applied in the 3rd round( not 4th as yours) and made it to Kenan Flagler. He had KF on the list though, but was not excited to start over as he thought that he has not taken that chance yet. He and I spent sometime thinking through these options and to be honest, as his consultant, it was tough for me to suggest him to revoke his admission this year and reapply next year. I mean, some candidates might think that a consultant has some vested interests( $$ ) in making a candidate reapply next year. That concern did not bother us as much as the fact that I was asking the candidate to wait for another year.

We decided to write to the adcom at KF and ask for a deferred admission and were fortunate enough to have them support us. We did not share the authentic reasons for seeking a deferral but somehow managed to buy another year( Yes ! We had paid the initial deposit to confirm the seat).

Next year, the candidate made it to Duke Fuqua and Tuck. In retrospect, I think that was a tough decision but definitely paid off. Some employers in the US may not see a significant difference between KF and Fuqua/Tuck. However, in the Indian markets, Tuck has been able to build a strong reputation. Moreover, Tuck has a nice Indian Alumni chapter, and you get to leverage the connections. This candidate wanted to be back in 3-4 years and was certain of his goals and Tuck was way better than KF for someone in this situation.

It may not happen with everyone. However, I can very well understand your point of view. You have this one life, and we do not get up every day to plan an MBA. Kelley is a great school, has a good reputation in employers recruiting for marketing and branding.

Getting rejected by your top choices and then walking into your plan B is a completely different story. However, living with a thought that you never tried, or imagining a parallel life had you taken that shot at your top choices is not a great feeling( I am speaking for myself).

I would not have asked my candidate to wait for another year had Kenan Flagler not offered us the Deferral.

I hope you make the best decision for yourself, and make an amazing career.

spencer45 · Answer

First of all, congratulations on your acceptance.
Is it possible for you to ask the school to defer your enrollment to next year, and use that time to apply to other schools where you really want to go?

Got accepted to a good program. Yet, I'm grief-stricken

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