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HELP NEEDED! Please review my Master Statement of Purpose

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Intern
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HELP NEEDED! Please review my Master Statement of Purpose  [#permalink]

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New post 08 Mar 2016, 15:11
English isn't my first language and I'm very bad at writing professional essays.
Please correct my grammars !!!! and throw out whatever opinions you have for this essay.
THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!

Looking back, I appreciate the big influence my father has had on my career path. My interest in accounting was strengthened by my father’s high professionalism standards. He is a CFO that holds a Certified Public Accountant qualification. Growing up and watching him work, I would get curious and ask about his works. However, my father insisted that accounting was too complicated for me to understand. This notion changed when I decided to get into accounting after noticing my unending desire to understand his works. My father inspired me into accounting.
My first hands-on experience of working in accounting field happened in 2012, after graduating from college. It was a few months’ experience but my personal interests to this career grew tremendously. Joining University of XXX to study accounting in 2013 was therefore a dream come true and a key factor for me in my journey to becoming an accountant.
I graduated in 2015 and besides the classroom knowledge of accounting, I also managed to get other experiences in different working environments which equipped me with skills that are beneficial to my career. During the first year in XXX, I was discouraged for the fact that I considered myself lacked of willpower and ability to succeed in the accounting field. It was life-changing when I was accepted to be a Teaching Assistant for Managerial Accounting. The professor predicted my potentials even though my mind was full of negativities. Her belief in me encouraged me and made me a better person. I was be able to be more confidents and aim higher toward to my career by breaking down my doubts to think positively.
Within the same year, I was offered to be the Co-Director in Finance Department of XXXX from XXX. Later on, I received my first internship offer through XXX internship program and was be able to transit from an intern to a full-time accountant position right after I graduated, in which I had the opportunity to familiarize myself with a variety of accounting specialties. My enthusiasm in accounting has been at highest peak ever since.
I enjoyed identifying unexpected problems and digging into the detail until everything reveals. Therefore, my main short-term goals for my career is to move up from accountant to assistant controller in which I will be expected to analyze unexpected problems and make partial decisions on my own. My long-term goal is to pass my CPA exam after my Master in XXX then move into Consulting. I hope to bring my knowledges in helping others on their financial issues. Being an alumni from XXX, I know for a fact that the faculties of XXX will place students’ intellectual growth at first. Thus, I believed that gaining a Master in XXX will be helpful with my career in a long run.
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Re: HELP NEEDED! Please review my Master Statement of Purpose  [#permalink]

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New post 09 Mar 2016, 01:34
Thanks for sharing your statement.

Just a few general thoughts, it would be more interesting if you provide details such as the specific industry your father worked in, how he contributed to the company as a CFO, making it easier for people to understand why he inspired you so much.

You can also identify the specific "potentials" your professor saw in you, and what accounting specialities you familiarized yourself with and why this made you enthusiastic about accounting. Adding details to these and other parts would help make the statement more personal, authentic, and compelling.

Hope this helps!
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Re: HELP NEEDED! Please review my Master Statement of Purpose  [#permalink]

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New post 09 Mar 2016, 14:14
VeritasPrepEdison wrote:
Thanks for sharing your statement.

Just a few general thoughts, it would be more interesting if you provide details such as the specific industry your father worked in, how he contributed to the company as a CFO, making it easier for people to understand why he inspired you so much.

You can also identify the specific "potentials" your professor saw in you, and what accounting specialities you familiarized yourself with and why this made you enthusiastic about accounting. Adding details to these and other parts would help make the statement more personal, authentic, and compelling.

Hope this helps!



THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR FEEDBACK!!

I don't know if I should included those details since I also need to upload my resume to school...

Please advise,

Thank you!
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Re: HELP NEEDED! Please review my Master Statement of Purpose  [#permalink]

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New post 06 Oct 2018, 12:12
Hi I'm currently doing my undergrad in electronics and telecommunication engineering and am planning to apple for ms in ECE. Here is my SOP, it would be of great help if you could review my sop. Posting it here -Two years ago, when I was performing and writing streetplays to spread awareness about issues like eve-teasing, women’s rights, menstruation hygiene and marital rape, what really bothered me was that there was little I could do to actually provide logical solutions to these issues. Further, when we conducted a survey for women, I realized that only 46 out of the 1256 subjects owned a women safety device. So, I further added a few more questions to the survey and circulated it. What I analysed was that the main reason for their loss in confidence in such devices was the fact that these devices were not user friendly and they were not sure if they will able to activate it at the right time. By now, all I knew was that I had to make a device which overcome these drawbacks, but there was a lot to learn before I could actually dive in.
The first step towards making the device was gaining in-depth knowledge of Machine learning and IOT - the technologies that would form the backbone of my product. I took up a course in IOT from coursera, where I learnt hands on programing of the Arduino and Raspberry pie. While coding the Raspberry pie using python, I got acquainted to the world of coding. Also, I realized that to master any technology, I needed to first gain proficiency in data-structures and algorithms. So, I also took courses in data-structures and algorithms from coursera.
In addition to women safety, another grave concern is healthcare for women. In the recent times, the cases of women suffering from heart attack, especially pregnant women has been on a rise. As per the statistics, it is the cause of death in one out of every three women. This inspired me to make a “heart disease risk predictor” using IOT and machine learning. This project made its way to the top three projects from the 265 projects presented at a departmental competition. As per the recent the studies conducted by World Health Organization, 90 percent of deaths due to cervical cancer occurred in under-developed countries. This was the motivation behind writing a survey paper on cervical cancer prediction using machine learning.
Along with advancement in technology another factor that helps to increase usability of a product is its user interface. No Matter how good your product is, for the product to reach the right audience it should be user-friendly. Chatbots is one such technology that is revolutionizing the user experience. To understand the eccentricities involved in the making of a chatbot, I took up an internship with “ AppiVa Software Pvt Ltd ” as a Natural Language Processing (NLP) Intern. This internship helped me learn how to deal with data that is uncertain in nature, a skill which I used further to deal with medical data also.
In the summer of 2018, I decided to take the knowledge I acquired in NLP forward by working with “Smart Medic”. My work as the “Machine Learning Intern” was to develop an automated system to classify the various queries received into their respective specialities. The main challenge I faced was that along with english the queries received were 6 other languages. Thus, after going through the research carried out in multilingual natural language processing, I came to the conclusion that I will have to create my own dataset using past records from the server and train a neural networks model to perform the classification. The was a long process but the results were promising, and an accuracy of 98.86 percent was achieved.
In the midst of all this, I also managed to find time to pursue my passion for teaching through “IcodeIcreate - a Seek2Share initiative”. I am a part of the founding team and CTO of this program that aims at getting students from grade 7 to grade 10 to improve their logical skills and put their creativity into action using coding. Sharing my knowledge of programming with these young minds gave me an immense sense of fulfillment.
After gaining all the skills required to build the women’s safety device, it was not time to bring the plan into action. Thus, I decided to take this as my final year project. Further, on researching a realised that so that the device does not send any false alarms, the activation of these devices could not be kept very user friendly. I then began to join the dots and realized that I could increase the reliability of the band if the device adjusts its activation system based on the crime rate of its present location. Machine learning can be used to classify the areas based on their crime rates. The device can be smarter if it performs intelligent data analysis. That is if the devices collects data at all times and act upon only the relevant information. The processing of this kind of systems has been survey by Prof. Sarah Ostadabbas in her IEEE publication, and I have got in touch with her for guidance regarding the same.
Northeastern University’s programe in electronics and computer engineering offers a specialization in machine learning and computer vision, thus being a perfect fit for my academic interests and career aspirations. In addition, the biomedical research and collaborations with the Boston-area medical community carried out by the ECE faculty is of great interest to me. I would like to be a part of the work being done on disease detection and tracking and brain-computer interface.
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Re: HELP NEEDED! Please review my Master Statement of Purpose &nbs [#permalink] 06 Oct 2018, 12:12
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HELP NEEDED! Please review my Master Statement of Purpose

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