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24 Sep 2016, 08:18
Kudos
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Can anyone give me some suggestions on what I should improve to ensure I can get minimum 4? I am having my exam in 2 days
My biggest concern is time. I wanted to write 3 points but couldn't think of the third point within the restricted time, so just completed the essay with 2 points, so the essay is fewer than 300 words. How importance is the number of words?
"The computerized on-board warning system will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions because one plane’s warning system can receive signals from another’s transponder" (from OG15)
The argument suggests that the computerized on-board warning system will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. While there are numerous causes of a midair plane collision, the author fails to take into account these factors. The argument simply explains that one plane’s warning system can receive signals from another’s transponder, and thus the warning system can determine the likelihood of collision and recommend evasive action.
First of all, midair plane collisions can be caused by various factors such as weather, airplane condition, etc. The argument fails to consider all these factors and assumes avoiding a close distance with another plane can solve the problem. However, in a bad weather condition, even the warning system can detect another plane approaching closely, the weather can make it hard for the plane to switch its direction to avoid the collision.
Besides, the author also fails to consider other factors that may affect the effectiveness of the warning system. For example, the radio signals may be affected by other signals in the air and the warning system thus may not work effectively. Also, even if the system works normally, no one can gurantee the accuracy of its calculation of the likelihood of collision and its recommended evasive action. In the end, the pilot does the final decision making and no one can be sure of which way can succesfully avoid collision.
In conclusion, the author fails to consider thoroughly different factors that cause midair plane collisions. The author jumps into conclusion that the warning system can solve midair plane collision problem without strong evidence. The author’s argument could have been much more convincing if he or she explains how different causes of midair plane collisions can be avoided using this system.
My biggest concern is time. I wanted to write 3 points but couldn't think of the third point within the restricted time, so just completed the essay with 2 points, so the essay is fewer than 300 words. How importance is the number of words?
"The computerized on-board warning system will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions because one plane’s warning system can receive signals from another’s transponder" (from OG15)
The argument suggests that the computerized on-board warning system will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. While there are numerous causes of a midair plane collision, the author fails to take into account these factors. The argument simply explains that one plane’s warning system can receive signals from another’s transponder, and thus the warning system can determine the likelihood of collision and recommend evasive action.
First of all, midair plane collisions can be caused by various factors such as weather, airplane condition, etc. The argument fails to consider all these factors and assumes avoiding a close distance with another plane can solve the problem. However, in a bad weather condition, even the warning system can detect another plane approaching closely, the weather can make it hard for the plane to switch its direction to avoid the collision.
Besides, the author also fails to consider other factors that may affect the effectiveness of the warning system. For example, the radio signals may be affected by other signals in the air and the warning system thus may not work effectively. Also, even if the system works normally, no one can gurantee the accuracy of its calculation of the likelihood of collision and its recommended evasive action. In the end, the pilot does the final decision making and no one can be sure of which way can succesfully avoid collision.
In conclusion, the author fails to consider thoroughly different factors that cause midair plane collisions. The author jumps into conclusion that the warning system can solve midair plane collision problem without strong evidence. The author’s argument could have been much more convincing if he or she explains how different causes of midair plane collisions can be avoided using this system.
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