AWA Score: 5 out of 6
Coherence and Connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and connectivity. The writer effectively presents the main points and links them together to form a cohesive response. Transitions between ideas are generally smooth, allowing the reader to follow the logical progression of the argument.
Word Structure: 5/6
The essay showcases a proficient level of word structure. The writer effectively uses a variety of vocabulary and constructs sentences that are clear and understandable. Some sentences could be slightly improved for better clarity or precision, but overall, the word structure is strong.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5/6
The essay exhibits a well-organized paragraph structure. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or question that needs to be addressed, and the writer presents their thoughts in a coherent manner within each paragraph. There is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, enhancing the overall structure of the essay.
Language and Grammar: 5/6
The language and grammar used in the essay are generally sound. The writer maintains a consistent tone and demonstrates a good command of English grammar. However, there are a few instances where sentence structures could be refined or minor errors could be corrected for improved clarity and precision.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5/6
The essay employs a diverse range of vocabulary and effectively conveys the writer's ideas. The vocabulary choices are appropriate and demonstrate a solid understanding of the topic. There is room for further enhancement by incorporating more advanced or nuanced vocabulary to elevate the expression.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong level of writing proficiency and effectively addresses the main points raised in the prompt. The ideas are coherent, the language is generally clear, and the essay presents a logical evaluation of the argument. The suggested improvements would help refine the essay further.
postmatrix wrote:
The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
Response:
Arguer talks about failed growth of Humana University. Because of the failure, the cost of the maintenance has increased and the university does not have enough budget for maintenance. Arguer points out that, last year in Omni University the number of students who enrolled in its online degree program was increased by fifty percent. Because of this, the expenditure in Omni was significantly decreased. Arguer suggests that, Humana University should start an online degree program too. This will help Humana to increase its total enrollment and budget.
Primarily, the arguer has not provided enough evidences to show that the significant decrease in the expenditure in Omni University was caused by online degree programs. The decrease could have been caused by other factors. The classrooms and dormitories in Omni are already well maintained, because of which the requirement for expenditure has decreased. Furthermore, increase in the number of students might have no influence on the expenditure.
Secondarily, if Humana University starts an online degree program, what are the chances that it will help the university burgeon and solve its budget problem? Even if the Humana University starts an online degree program, to make it a success, it will need to be better than the program provided by Omni University. Since, it is an online degree students can attend it from anywhere they want. If the quality of the program is below than Omni University, then the students will chose the degree provided by the Omni University.
Lastly, the reason for the failed growth of Humana University can be its overall quality. The infrastructure of the university might be inadequate. The quality of its education might be imperfect. Humana University should try something different. What worked for Omni University may not work for Humana. Humana can try building a very strong and pragmatic on-campus program. It should be on such a level that, students will find it worth it to travel to the campus for attending the program.
In conclusion, arguer needs to provide strong evidence to support the presented arguments. Arguer needs to come up better and unique solutions to tackle such problem.