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04 Nov 2010, 08:23
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Hi,
The below sentence is incorrect . whether we can rewrite Marbel proved herself deserved....,scored.....,inspired ?
Maribel proved herself deserving of the MVP award in girls’ basketball, scored a record number of goals, became the first female
player at the school to slam dunk in a championship game, and inspired her teammates immeasurably
Regards,
Nagesh
The below sentence is incorrect . whether we can rewrite Marbel proved herself deserved....,scored.....,inspired ?
Maribel proved herself deserving of the MVP award in girls’ basketball, scored a record number of goals, became the first female
player at the school to slam dunk in a championship game, and inspired her teammates immeasurably
Regards,
Nagesh
Archived Topic
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This topic has been closed and archived due to inactivity or violation of community quality standards. No more replies are possible here.
Where to now? Join ongoing discussions on thousands of quality questions in our Sentence Correction (SC - EA only) Forum
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12 Nov 2010, 14:19
Kudos
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nageshshiv,
This is a classic issue of superficial parallelism. It would be grammatically correct to say either:
Maribel PROVED herself deserving of the MVP award in girls’ basketball, SCORED a record number of goals, BECAME the first female player at the school to slam dunk in a championship game, and INSPIRED her teammates immeasurably.
In this example, Maribel did four separate things that all happen to relate to basketball. In that case, you need all four verbs to parallel to each other. I would argue that this sentence contains "false parallelism" because you could also (perhaps more logically) say:
Maribel PROVED herself deserving of the MVP award in girls’ basketball, SCORING a record number of goals, BECOMING the first female player at the school to slam dunk in a championship game, and INSPIRING her teammates immeasurably.
In this example, the verbs "scoring," "becoming," and "inspiring" are all parallel but "proved" is not. If you use this grammatical structure, you are implying that she proved herself worthy of the MVP award BECAUSE she did all those other things. I would argue that this second construction makes slightly more sense, but certainly there is nothing grammatically wrong with either one.
Great question!
Brett
This is a classic issue of superficial parallelism. It would be grammatically correct to say either:
Maribel PROVED herself deserving of the MVP award in girls’ basketball, SCORED a record number of goals, BECAME the first female player at the school to slam dunk in a championship game, and INSPIRED her teammates immeasurably.
In this example, Maribel did four separate things that all happen to relate to basketball. In that case, you need all four verbs to parallel to each other. I would argue that this sentence contains "false parallelism" because you could also (perhaps more logically) say:
Maribel PROVED herself deserving of the MVP award in girls’ basketball, SCORING a record number of goals, BECOMING the first female player at the school to slam dunk in a championship game, and INSPIRING her teammates immeasurably.
In this example, the verbs "scoring," "becoming," and "inspiring" are all parallel but "proved" is not. If you use this grammatical structure, you are implying that she proved herself worthy of the MVP award BECAUSE she did all those other things. I would argue that this second construction makes slightly more sense, but certainly there is nothing grammatically wrong with either one.
Great question!
Brett
Archived Topic
Hi there,
This topic has been closed and archived due to inactivity or violation of community quality standards. No more replies are possible here.
Where to now? Join ongoing discussions on thousands of quality questions in our Sentence Correction (SC - EA only) Forum
Still interested in this question? Check out the "Best Topics" block above for a better discussion on this exact question, as well as several more related questions.
Thank you for understanding, and happy exploring!
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