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06 Jul 2014, 11:36
Kudos
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Hello Experts
Today I am writing my first essay. Can you please check this once and provide me with a suitable opinions. This the 5th Essay of OG -13. Thanks in adavnce
The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper: “Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper.”
Discuss how well reasoned … etc.
The passage describes measure to be taken by an old newspaper, The Mercury, in order to increase its circulation, when faced with stiff competition by a low priced newspaper, the Bugle. The bugle is priced at a lower range than the Mercury, and thus the management of The Mercury has a reason to believe that, lowering price will again increase their circulation. Although the argument has some merits, a number of defects in the assumption make the argument seriously flawed
First of all the argument fails to identify key reasons behind the fall of the circulation of The Mercury. It is very unlikely, that readers will buy a newspaper, only because its price is low compared to some well-established newspaper. The paper has to have, similar or better set of article to be covered in it as well as the number of topics covered should be vast enough, for readers to choose the newspaper. Also it may happen that, The Bugle may be focusing on a very specific area of the news, where The Mercury has little or no focus, for example news relevant for young generations. It is also very likely that The Bugle might have applied an aggressive marketing campaign in order to capture a definitive market share, whereas being established The Mercury paid little attention in advertising. Without considering these aspects, just reducing the price may have adverse effect on the newspaper itself. It can very well happen that even after price is reduced, still the circulation does not go up. Hence the idea of bringing the circulation in same place as before and then realizing the incurred losses through published advertisement in the paper may face serious jeopardy.
In order to avoid such condition, The Mercury must carry out a market survey in first place, to understand the key factors behind its fall in circulation. In order to bring the competitiveness in market, The Mercury should also take measure based on the results of the survey. The survey should target the general readers, who have recently migrated to The Bugle, in order to find out what caused this shift in readership choice. Without considering the readers opinion, just by reducing the price not only puts the overall plan into jeopardy, but also puts the competitiveness of the newspaper in the market into serious question.
Today I am writing my first essay. Can you please check this once and provide me with a suitable opinions. This the 5th Essay of OG -13. Thanks in adavnce
The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper: “Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper.”
Discuss how well reasoned … etc.
The passage describes measure to be taken by an old newspaper, The Mercury, in order to increase its circulation, when faced with stiff competition by a low priced newspaper, the Bugle. The bugle is priced at a lower range than the Mercury, and thus the management of The Mercury has a reason to believe that, lowering price will again increase their circulation. Although the argument has some merits, a number of defects in the assumption make the argument seriously flawed
First of all the argument fails to identify key reasons behind the fall of the circulation of The Mercury. It is very unlikely, that readers will buy a newspaper, only because its price is low compared to some well-established newspaper. The paper has to have, similar or better set of article to be covered in it as well as the number of topics covered should be vast enough, for readers to choose the newspaper. Also it may happen that, The Bugle may be focusing on a very specific area of the news, where The Mercury has little or no focus, for example news relevant for young generations. It is also very likely that The Bugle might have applied an aggressive marketing campaign in order to capture a definitive market share, whereas being established The Mercury paid little attention in advertising. Without considering these aspects, just reducing the price may have adverse effect on the newspaper itself. It can very well happen that even after price is reduced, still the circulation does not go up. Hence the idea of bringing the circulation in same place as before and then realizing the incurred losses through published advertisement in the paper may face serious jeopardy.
In order to avoid such condition, The Mercury must carry out a market survey in first place, to understand the key factors behind its fall in circulation. In order to bring the competitiveness in market, The Mercury should also take measure based on the results of the survey. The survey should target the general readers, who have recently migrated to The Bugle, in order to find out what caused this shift in readership choice. Without considering the readers opinion, just by reducing the price not only puts the overall plan into jeopardy, but also puts the competitiveness of the newspaper in the market into serious question.
13 Jul 2014, 10:24
Kudos
Bookmarks
Although I'm not an expert, here is my take on this.
The first para is good. It can be made better by limiting it to the purpose of re-iteration of premises and conclusion. So the second para , that usually starts with contrast, will have a list of questionable assumptions. It may be wise to spend a few mins to bullet a few points that are going to be elaborated further in subsequent paragraphs. Typically these bullets would questions around assumptions, provide counter-example or alternate explainations ( as the official site advises).
The second paragraph in your essay looks quite condensed and includes different factors that weaken the conclusions e.g price, quality of articles, marketing campaign, circulation etc. I'd rather expands these points to develop them further.
A real-life example, even from another other industry or your own experience, would have helped to elaborate your point about price.
Finally, the last paragraph may summarise the conclusion and further recommendation as you've rightly mentioned.
Again, I'm not an expert, so feel free to trash my opinion.
The first para is good. It can be made better by limiting it to the purpose of re-iteration of premises and conclusion. So the second para , that usually starts with contrast, will have a list of questionable assumptions. It may be wise to spend a few mins to bullet a few points that are going to be elaborated further in subsequent paragraphs. Typically these bullets would questions around assumptions, provide counter-example or alternate explainations ( as the official site advises).
The second paragraph in your essay looks quite condensed and includes different factors that weaken the conclusions e.g price, quality of articles, marketing campaign, circulation etc. I'd rather expands these points to develop them further.
A real-life example, even from another other industry or your own experience, would have helped to elaborate your point about price.
Finally, the last paragraph may summarise the conclusion and further recommendation as you've rightly mentioned.
Again, I'm not an expert, so feel free to trash my opinion.
17 Jul 2014, 02:02
Kudos
Bookmarks
The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial.
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
The editorial section news piece states the last year's impressive achievements of the students in Nova High shool is because of the introduction of intercative computer program on the three academic subjects.
The argument is clearly weak, as primarily, it does not state the parametre, which can account the actual effectiveness of interactive computer instruction method on the overall performance of students. Thus, the correlation between the usage of computer based program on three subjects and school dropout rate, is unpersuasive and unsubstantiated.
The generalised assumption that the use of of interaction computer instruction affected the overall score of students is quite unconvincing. There could be other factors, such as, lenient scoring on those three subjects or utlization of other effective study methods, which may have affected the dropouts rates of the students in Nova high school.
In addition, the argument fails to establish a connection between introduction the interactive computer program in the school and impressive achivements of Graduate college students. It is nowhere mentioned, that this program is also introduced in college education system too. Thus, without the complling evidence, the argument represents a distorting picture of the successful implementation of interactive computer program and the stated results.
Finally, based on the dubious and unclear evidence, and generalised correlation, it is proposed to utilise the greater portion of schools' funds to buy more computers. Moreover, it is also suggested in the argument that all other schools in the respective district must adopt similar usage of interactive computer instruction program in their entire curriculum. Until the relevance of evidence suggested in argument is clear, it is useless to use such evidence as the basis of future proposal.
Ultimately, the argument fails to account the relevant factors which can suggest the actual success of the interactive computer instruction program, thus, when assumption is not justified significantly the proposal followed on it, would seem as wishful thinking. Therefore, in order to assess the merits of a situuation, it is necessary to clearly understand the contributing factors. In this particular case, the casual connection is not justified enough, thus unsubstanatiated and debatable.
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
The editorial section news piece states the last year's impressive achievements of the students in Nova High shool is because of the introduction of intercative computer program on the three academic subjects.
The argument is clearly weak, as primarily, it does not state the parametre, which can account the actual effectiveness of interactive computer instruction method on the overall performance of students. Thus, the correlation between the usage of computer based program on three subjects and school dropout rate, is unpersuasive and unsubstantiated.
The generalised assumption that the use of of interaction computer instruction affected the overall score of students is quite unconvincing. There could be other factors, such as, lenient scoring on those three subjects or utlization of other effective study methods, which may have affected the dropouts rates of the students in Nova high school.
In addition, the argument fails to establish a connection between introduction the interactive computer program in the school and impressive achivements of Graduate college students. It is nowhere mentioned, that this program is also introduced in college education system too. Thus, without the complling evidence, the argument represents a distorting picture of the successful implementation of interactive computer program and the stated results.
Finally, based on the dubious and unclear evidence, and generalised correlation, it is proposed to utilise the greater portion of schools' funds to buy more computers. Moreover, it is also suggested in the argument that all other schools in the respective district must adopt similar usage of interactive computer instruction program in their entire curriculum. Until the relevance of evidence suggested in argument is clear, it is useless to use such evidence as the basis of future proposal.
Ultimately, the argument fails to account the relevant factors which can suggest the actual success of the interactive computer instruction program, thus, when assumption is not justified significantly the proposal followed on it, would seem as wishful thinking. Therefore, in order to assess the merits of a situuation, it is necessary to clearly understand the contributing factors. In this particular case, the casual connection is not justified enough, thus unsubstanatiated and debatable.
