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03 Jul 2021, 03:10
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Hello All,
I have just started my preparation for GMAT and for the same i have written an easy on the following argument . It will be of great help if you could provide me your feedbac on the same based on GMAT's assement criteria. Please point out the positives and the mistakes on the essay.
Argument
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen
foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become
more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day
service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And
since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to
minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
Essay
The argument states that Olymipic food will be able to minimize costs and thus maximise profits soon . The conclusion is based on the premises that as an organisation learns from it’s experience, they become more efficient . The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons.
Firstly, the argument’s conclusion is based on the assumption that as film processing company was able to reduces cost from 50 cents to 20 cents, a food processing company like Olympic food will also be able to replicate the same reduction in cost of processing. However, the requirements of raw materials for a food processing company are very different from the requirements of a film processing company. Had the argument provided information on the raw materials which are common in processing of food and films and had projected the decline in the prices of the same , it would have made it a more logical comparison.
The arguments also states in it’s conclusion that based on Olympic food’s long experience it will enable them to minimise the costs and maximise the profits. However, the information provided here is very vague and incomplete as it doesn’t quantify the number of years of experience of the employees of the company.
The argument also leaves many unanswered questions . As in the argument it is mentioned that the cost of processing a color film went down from 50 cents in 1970 to 20 cents in 1984 but it doesn’t shed any light the plausible reasons for the same as it could be due to the advancement in technology or the increase in the ease of doing work in those years. In order to strengthen the argument , the author should emphasize all the plausible reasons by which the cost of processing can be reduced.
In conclusion , because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions , it fails to make a convincing case that with having experience of doing a certain job , it can reduce the the cost and maimize the profits.
I have just started my preparation for GMAT and for the same i have written an easy on the following argument . It will be of great help if you could provide me your feedbac on the same based on GMAT's assement criteria. Please point out the positives and the mistakes on the essay.
Argument
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen
foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become
more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day
service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And
since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to
minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
Essay
The argument states that Olymipic food will be able to minimize costs and thus maximise profits soon . The conclusion is based on the premises that as an organisation learns from it’s experience, they become more efficient . The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons.
Firstly, the argument’s conclusion is based on the assumption that as film processing company was able to reduces cost from 50 cents to 20 cents, a food processing company like Olympic food will also be able to replicate the same reduction in cost of processing. However, the requirements of raw materials for a food processing company are very different from the requirements of a film processing company. Had the argument provided information on the raw materials which are common in processing of food and films and had projected the decline in the prices of the same , it would have made it a more logical comparison.
The arguments also states in it’s conclusion that based on Olympic food’s long experience it will enable them to minimise the costs and maximise the profits. However, the information provided here is very vague and incomplete as it doesn’t quantify the number of years of experience of the employees of the company.
The argument also leaves many unanswered questions . As in the argument it is mentioned that the cost of processing a color film went down from 50 cents in 1970 to 20 cents in 1984 but it doesn’t shed any light the plausible reasons for the same as it could be due to the advancement in technology or the increase in the ease of doing work in those years. In order to strengthen the argument , the author should emphasize all the plausible reasons by which the cost of processing can be reduced.
In conclusion , because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions , it fails to make a convincing case that with having experience of doing a certain job , it can reduce the the cost and maimize the profits.
04 Jul 2021, 09:45
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AWA Score: 4.5 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
raghav911
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