AWA Score: 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5
The essay demonstrates good coherence and connectivity. The ideas are logically organized and connected, allowing for a clear understanding of the argument's flow. The essay effectively discusses the flaws in the argument and provides counterpoints to strengthen its analysis.
Word structure: 5
The word structure is strong, with clear and concise sentences that effectively convey the author's ideas. The essay uses appropriate vocabulary and maintains a consistent tone throughout.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5
The essay is well-structured, with clear topic sentences and appropriate paragraph breaks. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point or counterargument, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
Language and grammar: 5
The language used in the essay is sophisticated and demonstrates a good command of grammar. There are no significant grammatical errors that hinder comprehension. The essay effectively communicates the author's ideas using accurate and appropriate language.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5
The essay utilizes a varied vocabulary and demonstrates a strong grasp of word choice. The author effectively conveys their points using precise and suitable vocabulary, enhancing the clarity and quality of the writing.
Overall, the essay receives a score of 5 out of 6. The essay effectively evaluates the given argument, highlighting its flaws and providing alternative perspectives. The writing is coherent, well-structured, and demonstrates strong language skills.
MochiChan64 wrote:
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument claims that Olympic Foods will minimize costs and maximize profits over time due to an increase in efficiency. This claim is made based on what appears to be a status quo assumption about the increasing efficiency of organizations regardless of industry. It uses the example of color film processing to substantiate its claim. However, there are several factors that have not been taken into account.
A primary flaw in the argument is the comparison between color film processing and food processing. The two industries could not be more different, and the passage does not provide any evidence that suggests that there are any similarities between them. The argument relies on the assumption that the two industries operate with similar processes. Evidence that described an overview of the long-term goals of each industry could serve to weaken this assumption, thereby invalidating the conclusion.
The argument compares the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print for a five-day service in 1970 to the same cost in 1984. It assumes that the decrease in cost is associated with optimized processing methods. However, it does not mention any details about increasing profits earned in color film processing. Unlike color film processing, food processing is an essential service, and may not profit from the same methods used for optimization.
25 years is a rather short period of time to be considered “experience”. Clearly, it is rather far-fetched to expect experience alone to account for efficiency. The argument is weak because it fails to account for the factors listed above. The availability of historical data to support the idea of a correlation between experience and profit might serve to strengthen its’ conclusion.
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07 Jul 2023, 11:11
