Subongkoch
"The Excelsior Company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee. Since coffee is an expensive food item, and since there are already many established brands of coffee, the best way to gain customers for the Excelsior brand is to do what Superior, the leading coffee company, did when it introduced the newest brand in its line of coffees: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand."
The statement claims that Excelsior company wants to introduce its coffee brand so the company use a strategy which offers customers many promotions such as reduce prices or offer free samples. The author also concludes that using these strategy will attract a lot of customers. The argument makes numerous unwarranted assumptions and might mislead to the unconvincing conclusions.
One basic flaw in the argument is the author overlooks some important conditions about Exceisor company that could be differ from Superior company. Superior company might target different customers from Excelsior company. As a result, using the same strategy might not attract different groups of customers. For example, Superior company might want to attract teenage customers who do not have their own salaries so the company reduce the price in order to entice teenage customers. On the other hand, if Exceisor company want to target adolescent who can earn money by themselves, they might look for a quality of coffee, not just the price. The author should consider the different conditions that might exist in order to make the hypothesis more persuasive.
Another reason that makes the argument illogical is that Superior used this strategy successfully in the past does not mean that it can apply to use in the present because circumstances could change. There is no clear evidence about what made this strategy work. Maybe at that time everyone suffers with terrible economic. Reducing price could be a good strategy to attract a large number of customers. Conversely, the same strategy might not be effective in the present because the economic might improve. To strengthen the argument, the author should mention the circumstance when Superior used this strategy to compare with the present.
In summary, the argument is flawed because of different conditions and circumstances. That means the author might jump to the conclusion that offering many promotions is an effective strategy for Excelsior company to attract a lot of customers.
Thank you:)
Hi Subongkoch
Respected Sir/Madam ,
First of all at the very onset looking at your response I think you started really well and you have understood the given argument . I think you should try to use "templates" . In my opinion you should use better templates as it leaves good impact on the e-grader . I think your essay is little short . You should try to elucidate more in your essay .Try to ascertain facts that are pivotal for the argument to base the conclusion upon . Some facts are always missing . AWA should be well thought , well articulated & well assertive . For that you ought to be pretty good at understanding the premise of the argument and what conclusion it has , you have identified & covered some of the assumptions , raised questionable flaws but then they are not sufficient there is plenty of space for improvement and you should come up with more of them . In summary You must use the better templates , which makes the essay look more comprehensible, and elaborate more to leave good impression on the e-grader . All the best !

Although I am not a a very high scorer in GMAT hence I'm not qualified to give GMAT advice , but I took the GMAT twice and got a 4.5 & 5.0 essay score respectively , In hope you will find my essay templates/advice useful , I wish to share templates which I used very often and which I still remember very vividly , they were advised by my GMAT instructor . You should try them next time and note the response .
Paragraph 1:
"Introduction"
As advised , I always start by saying,
"In the preceding statement, the author claims that (paraphrase of the author's argument)."
This shows that I understand the author's argument. I continue with my disagreement (and, becauseit has been often said, ALWAYS! disagree with the author's reasoning, and I pretty much always used the same statement, like:
“Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on several questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers, we cannot accept his argument as valid. “
I can use that statement for pretty much any and every argument essay I encounter. I also use "we" but I try to avoid using "I". ( Take that as you wish! )
Paragraph 2:
"Attacks the premise of the author's argument"
For me, paragraph 2 always attacks the premise of the author's argument. I usually write down a premise and then I attack the lack of evidence that the author bases his premise on.
I usually begin with same statement all the the time :
"The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies in his unsubstantiated premises".
I like
"primary" and
"secondary" as transitional tools because they are more complex than
"first" and
"second". Throughout the first paragraph, I show flaws in the author's premises by pointing out his lack of evidentiary support (they pretty much always lack evidentary support!!!) . I generally end with something like:
"The author's premises, the basis for his argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable."
Paragraph 3:
"Attack the assumptions"
In the third paragraph, I always attack the assumptions
I usually begin with :
"In addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. "
My assumption paragraph ends with something like:
"The author weakens his argument by making assumptions and failing to provide explication of the links between X and Y he assumes exists. "
Paragraph 4:
"How I can strengthen the argument"Paragraph 4 is where I talk about how the author could strengthen his argument
I usually begin this paragraph with something like:
"While the author does have several key issues in his argument's premises and assumptions, that is not to say that the entire argument is without base."
Then I provide some concrete ways the author could strengthen his argument. The easiest way to do this is to give examples of what kind of evidence the author could provide, and discuss how he can fill the holes in his assumptions.
I generally end with something like:
"Though there are several issues with the author's reasoning at present, with research and clarification, he could improve his argument significantly. "
Paragraph 5 :
"Conclusion Para"
As advised , This is my conclusion paragraph. I pretty much always conclude with the same sentence:
"In sum, the author's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid.
"
As advised , I usually use
"in sum" because it's considered better stylistically than
"in conclusion" but signals to the e-grader that you're at your conclusion.
I usually add a couple sentences in between and then I end with:
"If the author truly hopes to change his readers' minds on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people. "
I hope you find it useful . If possible try these templates and see what score you get . And do work on finding assumptions and raising questionable flaws .
Do let me know what score you get when you use them ( if you use!
)
Regards