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Please Evaluate my AWA

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Please Evaluate my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 27 Jun 2020, 18:40
Essay Question:

5. The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper. “Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . Etc


MY RESPONSE

In an announcement issued by the publisher of the weekly newspaper The Mercury, the publisher argued that reducing its price below its competing paper The Bugle will increase circulation and attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper. This argument is flawed and relies on several critical assumptions that do not account for economic conditions, external competitors, and overall marketing strategies of businesses today.

The publisher’s first faulty assumption is that the Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers and assumes the reason for this is solely due to a lower priced newspaper The Bugle emerging as a competitor. This argument is flawed because it does not provide substantial information for us to correlate that the drop in circulation is solely tied to the creation of another competing newspaper. An example that would contradict that argument would be that newspaper readership as a collective has reduced based on the emergence of a wide variety of sources such as social media. Platforms such as Facebook or Twitter provide news updates in real time and as such, consumers may now be less inclined to purchase newspapers because they can receive information for free and immediately. If we wanted to strengthen this argument, we would need evidence that effectively showed that The Bugle’s pricing strategy was the primary reason that drove away consumers who were once at The Mercury.

Additionally, the publisher further argues that increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy more advertising space in the paper. This premise is faulty because it assumes that their circulation as a paper is the only factor that determines whether or not a business will purchase advertising space. An example that would contradict this argument would be evidence of an economic downturn. If businesses are struggling to maintain day to day operations or expenses due to reduced consumers purchasing their respective product or service, a business would be less likely to spend more money on advertising in a newspaper. If we wanted to strengthen this argument, further evidence would need to be provided that shows a direct correlation between newspaper circulation and increased advertising from businesses.

In Conclusion, the argument presented by the publisher is neither sound or persuasive. The publisher failed to account for many external factors that may be contributing to its circulation decline in today’s market.
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Re: Please Evaluate my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 05 Jul 2020, 06:12
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MY RESPONSE( Rashhan Essay )

In an announcement issued by the publisher of the weekly newspaper The Mercury, the publisher argued that reducing its price below its competing paper The Bugle will increase circulation and attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper. This argument is flawed and relies on several critical assumptions that do not account for economic conditions, external competitors, and overall marketing strategies of businesses today.

The publisher’s first faulty assumption is that the Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers and assumes the reason for this is solely due to a lower priced newspaper The Bugle emerging as a competitor. This argument is flawed because it does not provide substantial information for us to correlate that the drop in circulation is solely tied to the creation of another competing newspaper. An example that would contradict that argument would be that newspaper readership as a collective has reduced based on the emergence of a wide variety of sources such as social media. Platforms such as Facebook or Twitter provide news updates in real time and as such, consumers may now be less inclined to purchase newspapers because they can receive information for free and immediately. If we wanted to strengthen this argument, we would need evidence that effectively showed that The Bugle’s pricing strategy was the primary reason that drove away consumers who were once at The Mercury.

Additionally, the publisher further argues that increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy more advertising space in the paper. This premise is faulty because it assumes that their circulation as a paper is the only factor that determines whether or not a business will purchase advertising space. An example that would contradict this argument would be evidence of an economic downturn. If businesses are struggling to maintain day to day operations or expenses due to reduced consumers purchasing their respective product or service, a business would be less likely to spend more money on advertising in a newspaper. If we wanted to strengthen this argument, further evidence would need to be provided that shows a direct correlation between newspaper circulation and increased advertising from businesses.

In Conclusion, the argument presented by the publisher is neither sound or persuasive. The publisher failed to account for many external factors that may be contributing to its circulation decline in today’s market.

Review

Since almost all of the essays are written over MS word, there is not many grammar mistakes in most of them.
Essay construction also seems to be stereotyped following popular templates. Therefore it might just be sufficient for writing a normal essay and get a good score near 5 out of 6.
But my point is different. I also emphasize content as a means of making an impact in the real-world international writing. Perhaps, if it is not an end by itself, it may be a beginning for everyone to get initiated.
The following is my focus

Guidelines

1. What is your claim or main 1.idea? State it explicitly

2. State the claim with a pithy introductory question such as ‘’Does experience help a company every time?

3. Show how your argument is different from the case in point.

4. Show counter argument by saying what would happen in the absence.

5. Use transition words at least once in a paragraph. Such as, above all, significantly, accordingly, consequently, rarely, frequently, therefore, thus, additionally, again, not only but also, not just -, but also, bemusing, besides, although, albeit, nevertheless, none the less. In spite of despite, undoubtedly; - In the event of, for fear of, in sum, arresting, catchy, emphatic, compelling, nerve-racking, earth-shaking, etc

Flamboyant, splashy, gaudy, in the middle, further to, in the distance from, before in the foreground, sooner or later, until, meanwhile, up to the present time, till further, to begin with, in due time, then first, second, until now, in time, as soon as, prior to, as long as, forthwith, in the meantime, in a moment, without delay, about by the time, in the first place, all of a sudden, at this instant, that immediately, instantly, quickly, suddenly, presently, finally, shortly, occasionally,

after all, overall, generally speaking, in the final analysis, in summary, all things considered, by and large, as shown above, in short, to sum up, in the long run, in brief, on the whole, in essence in any event, in a word, on balance, all in all, l for the most
after all, overall, generally speaking, in the final analysis, in summary, all things considered, by and large, as shown above, in short, to sum up, in the long run, in brief, on the whole, in essence in any event, in a word, on balance, all in all, for the most

6. Use survey results, study reports, personal stories to illustrate your counter-argument. Cite authors and give credit. Prove your understanding.

7. The finale could be touchy, philosophical, categorical, conciliatory, or accommodative but not surrendering.

8. You can end up the essay with some appropriate quote such as “
1. Success is not final. Failure is not fatal; it is the courage that counts.
2. Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.

3. What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens. -Benjamin Disraeli

4. Only fools wait for History to repeat; wise people make fresh history or re-create it. --- An old proverb.

5. Good Luck

daagh
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Re: Please Evaluate my AWA   [#permalink] 05 Jul 2020, 06:12

Please Evaluate my AWA

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