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06 Dec 2015, 22:20
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Hello,
Please evaluate and rate my essay for the AWA. Make a link for yours and I will return the favor; or some Kudos.
Please check for grammar, spelling, analysis of the argument, etc.
Thanks
------
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company:
“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable that it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”
Discuss…
---------------------------
There are several fallacies in this argument. These fallacies make the argument that centralization of the Apogee Company will lead to more profits.
One fallacy in the argument is that closing the field offices alone will lead to more profits. There are more factors that determine if a company is profitable than just the amount of field offices. Market conditions play a role, internal culture plays a role, and even competitors play a role. By closing field offices, Apogee company may lose some of its competitive advantage and market share. It would be important to look at each field office individually and determine whether that field office is profitable. Then the company can have a reasonable awareness of the entire situation.
The company believes that centralization will reduce costs. This is not always the case, especially if the company benefits from economies of scale. Centralization may reduce some fixed costs such as rent and insurance, but it may increase the variable costs such as cost of goods. An analysis of the costs associated with doing business is important here. It would also be good to see what benefit the company gets from maintaining a larger scale operation versus what they lose when scaling down.
Another fallacy that this argument presents is that centralization leads to better supervision which leads to more profits. The whole goal of more supervision is to increase profits. This is not always the case either. If the company over-supervises its employees then it may lead to a less productive work force. This is especially true if the company is in a business where creativity is needed. The idea that more supervision leads to more profits would also depend on the companies culture. It would be important to see if the employees were lacking supervision in the first place. Then it would be important to determine if the lack of supervision led to reduced productivity.
Based on the above fallacies, the argument that centralization of the Apogee Company by closing field offices is not very well thought out. The company needs to do much more analysis to determine the real cause of the reduced profits in order to know how to become more profitable.
Thanks!
Darzumanov
Please evaluate and rate my essay for the AWA. Make a link for yours and I will return the favor; or some Kudos.
Please check for grammar, spelling, analysis of the argument, etc.
Thanks
------
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company:
“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable that it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”
Discuss…
---------------------------
There are several fallacies in this argument. These fallacies make the argument that centralization of the Apogee Company will lead to more profits.
One fallacy in the argument is that closing the field offices alone will lead to more profits. There are more factors that determine if a company is profitable than just the amount of field offices. Market conditions play a role, internal culture plays a role, and even competitors play a role. By closing field offices, Apogee company may lose some of its competitive advantage and market share. It would be important to look at each field office individually and determine whether that field office is profitable. Then the company can have a reasonable awareness of the entire situation.
The company believes that centralization will reduce costs. This is not always the case, especially if the company benefits from economies of scale. Centralization may reduce some fixed costs such as rent and insurance, but it may increase the variable costs such as cost of goods. An analysis of the costs associated with doing business is important here. It would also be good to see what benefit the company gets from maintaining a larger scale operation versus what they lose when scaling down.
Another fallacy that this argument presents is that centralization leads to better supervision which leads to more profits. The whole goal of more supervision is to increase profits. This is not always the case either. If the company over-supervises its employees then it may lead to a less productive work force. This is especially true if the company is in a business where creativity is needed. The idea that more supervision leads to more profits would also depend on the companies culture. It would be important to see if the employees were lacking supervision in the first place. Then it would be important to determine if the lack of supervision led to reduced productivity.
Based on the above fallacies, the argument that centralization of the Apogee Company by closing field offices is not very well thought out. The company needs to do much more analysis to determine the real cause of the reduced profits in order to know how to become more profitable.
Thanks!
Darzumanov
07 Dec 2015, 04:49
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darzumanov
darzumanov
Congrats on a good essay!! I do not see much grammatical mistakes, and you analysis is also good. However, You can improve on the following points-
1. Structure of the essay. You have started your essay with ' There are several fallacies in this argument' . Which argument? You should always mention the gist of what is given in your question passage. For structure and templates you can visit the below link
how-to-get-6-0-awa-my-guide-64327.html#p470475
2. You could have given a good example here. May be a bank or an automobile industry which has global presence.(there are many such large scale industries) You could point out that the success of these industries would never have been possible without expansion.
If you can give a proper structure to your essay, then it might improve your score. You can check the above link for some templates, etc.
Hope this post helps you!! Let me know through the kudos button
10 Dec 2015, 20:52
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rohan89 Thanks for the reply.
1. How should I structure the first paragraph?
- If i change it to the following, does it improve?
The Apogee Company has been losing profits and they believe that it solely comes from having too many field offices. They argue that centralization will increase profits. There are several fallacies in this argument.
2. I understand your points here. I tried doing doing some of that with stating what more information would be good, but I didn't really state some counter-examples. Good point.
1. How should I structure the first paragraph?
- If i change it to the following, does it improve?
The Apogee Company has been losing profits and they believe that it solely comes from having too many field offices. They argue that centralization will increase profits. There are several fallacies in this argument.
2. I understand your points here. I tried doing doing some of that with stating what more information would be good, but I didn't really state some counter-examples. Good point.
