Intern
Joined: 15 Apr 2013
Posts: 45
Concentration: Human Resources, International Business
GPA: 3
Please grade my essay.
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06 Oct 2013, 02:58
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
In this argument, the author claims that Americans should spend more time on personal and communal development. This claim is based on the fact that Americans spend too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods and Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping which has led to America losing its competitive edge compared with other countries. However on a deeper analysis, it is evident that there are certain relevant aspects that have not been taken into account, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is that the author mistakenly assumes that Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping leads to America losing its competitive edge relative to other nations. The argument is a stretch and is a vague argument made by the author without sufficient data to support the claim. Perhaps, the amount of leisure time Americans have is the least compared with other countries. For example, if Average Americans have 1 hour of leisure time and they spend 30 minutes shopping, compared with India where the Average Indian has 5 hours of leisure time and spend 1 hour of that time shopping. This shows an average American spends less time shopping than the citizens of another country. In order to strengthen the argument, the author should provide data on the number of hours of leisure time Americans have compared with other nations. The author should also provide data on how shopping affects America losing its competitive edge relative to other countries.
Another statement, significantly weakening the argument is that the author mistakenly assumes that personal and communal development are the only methods to be productive. The argument made by the author is too narrow and does not take into account the economic factors that drive the country's productivity. For example, if Americans are taking active part in growing their business worldwide, then American would have a competitive edge relative to other nations. Other activities that Americans perhaps spend their time on are cultural meets aimed to grow the cultural diversity of the country and their knowledge about most of the prominent cultures existent in the world today. To overcome this flaw, the author should analyze the activities that Americans take part it and how it affects the development on a case by case basis.
The author also wrongly assumes that productivity is measured the same way across the nation. Productivity to someone perhaps is not a productive way to spend time to the other. In the same way, the categorization made by the author of non-essential goods could be judgmental and based on opinions rather than objective observations. For example, if somebody spend time trying to make their business better might be judged as non-productive by somebody else because they are more inclined towards services and not entrepreneurship. To make this argument more valid, the author should conduct research to know the general beliefs of the American Public about activities that are considered not productive and goods that are considered non-essential.
After a close examination, it is clear that the author's attempt to show that Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development is flawed. The recommendations in the essay show how the argument could make logical sense. The author should provide further data to support his claims instead of providing subjective opinions. The author can achieve this by conducting research or holding surveys that targets the American Public compared with the public of other nations.