Please Grade my Toefl essay
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15 Aug 2015, 23:19
Some Young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to stay with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Explain with specific reasons and examples
My Essay:
It is true that in today's scenario, cultures have developed and evolved over time, and young adults share differences in opinions about their independence from parents as well as families. Where some want independence from their parents as soon a spossible, there are others who prefer to live with thier families for longer times. I am more inclined towards the former situation.
I think that living independently and learning through your own experiences is the most important part of growing up. It completely shapes who we become, what we think, what we believe and what we cherish. The sooner this process starts, the better. Independence from families helps us to create our own unique identity and promotes our individulity. It takes us out of the shadow of our parents, our homes and encourages us to make a place of ourselves in the world out there which can be a tough nut to crack. For instance, a young adult who leaves his/her home to go to college for the first time, enters a completely new alien world, which he/she has to explore on their own. The child has to have the independene to make his/her own decisions, experience and learn new things in a new environment and even learn from his/her mistakes. Proper room and space is required for an all-round devleopment of a yound adult.
Independence from family and parents would also ensure that the child will be more fit to withstand the cruel world outside. For every single problem that a young adult faces, he can no longer go back crying to his/her parents. This helps them in fighting against obstacles that come accross their path in life, it inculcates in them a spirit to stand up against hardhsips and bad times when they have no one around, because afterall parents are not going to be there for them forever. This entire process nutures them into well-rounded, hardened and well-informed adults with highest capabilites and least dependencies on others.
On the other hand, young adults who prefer to stay wth their families longer may not undergo the similar extent of experiences and learnings as they are shadowed by parents and families for a prolonged period of time.
Although it is also true that at many stages of life when big decisons are to be made, or we are stuck in dilemma's or situations that could impact our entire lives and future, we often seek the advice of our parents. In this context , I am trying to say independence from parents does not mean not listening to them or their wishes at all. Every young adult must remember that parents are wiser and they would always want what's best for their children, thus , listening to them in certain situations and seeking thier advice when in trouble is definately important. Absolue recklessness and foolishness in certain situations can only be controlled by parents.
I conclude by stating, that independence plays a very valuable role in shaping the lives of young adults and hence it would be benficial for them to become independent as soon as possible, but at the same time advice and teachings of our parents/families must always be remembered.