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12 Sep 2020, 09:47
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The following appeared in the editorial section of a newspaper in the country of West Cambria:
“The practice of officially changing speed limits on the highways—whether by increasing or decreasing them—is a dangerous one. Consider what happened over the past decade whenever neighboring East Cambria changed its speed limits: an average of 3 percent more automobile accidents occurred during the week following the change than had occurred during the week preceding it—even when the speed limit was lowered. This statistic shows that the change in speed limit adversely affected the alertness of drivers.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . Etc
Essay:
The writer of the newspaper article in West Cambria suggested that adjusting the speed limits in the highways is particularly dangerous because it leads to more accidents and decreased alertness on the roads. This conclusion is faulty because it fails to provide substantial evidence for the arguments made.
The writer unfairly and inappropriately compares West Cambria to East Cambria when evaluating the affects of speed limit changes on their highways. Though the counties may share similarities in terms of location, they could be entirely different demographically. If East Cambria has a significantly older population, this could affect the number of automobile-related accidents as their reaction time is slower, and they may be slower to adapt to the changes on the road. Furthermore, the highways of East Cambria could be more difficult to navigate than West Cambria’s - perhaps they are windier, or there isn’t sufficient lighting on the roads. There are many factors that could influence the drivers in West Cambria compared to East Cambria, and this could contribute to accident count.
The writer also mentions that the number of accidents in West Cambria increased 3% “during the week... following the change than had occurred during the week preceding it.” While this 3% could be a strong figure to argue the point, comparing one week to another - regardless of what two weeks it is - isn’t enough to draw such strong of a conclusion. The week prior to the speed change in West Cambria could have been an abnormally low week for number of accidents, or it could’ve been higher than average. Since we aren’t sure what exactly the figures were for both weeks and how they compare to other figures throughout the years, we cannot accept the conclusion that this 3% figure is material enough to conclude that changing speed limits are dangerous.
To strengthen the arguments in the article, the writer needs to present more data to the reader to form the basis of their conclusion. To assist with the comparison to West Cambria, the writer could mention that ways in which East and West Cambria are similar regarding their geographic and demographic make-up, helping further the reader’s understanding for comparing the two counties. Additionally, more statistical data on the count of accidents ranging over longer periods of time for West Cambria would help more clearly show the impact of speed changes in the county.
In conclusion, the writer fails to provide meaningful justification for why the change in speed limit adversely affects drivers. While the conclusion could be true, we as readers are not given sufficient information to draw the same conclusion.
“The practice of officially changing speed limits on the highways—whether by increasing or decreasing them—is a dangerous one. Consider what happened over the past decade whenever neighboring East Cambria changed its speed limits: an average of 3 percent more automobile accidents occurred during the week following the change than had occurred during the week preceding it—even when the speed limit was lowered. This statistic shows that the change in speed limit adversely affected the alertness of drivers.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . Etc
Essay:
The writer of the newspaper article in West Cambria suggested that adjusting the speed limits in the highways is particularly dangerous because it leads to more accidents and decreased alertness on the roads. This conclusion is faulty because it fails to provide substantial evidence for the arguments made.
The writer unfairly and inappropriately compares West Cambria to East Cambria when evaluating the affects of speed limit changes on their highways. Though the counties may share similarities in terms of location, they could be entirely different demographically. If East Cambria has a significantly older population, this could affect the number of automobile-related accidents as their reaction time is slower, and they may be slower to adapt to the changes on the road. Furthermore, the highways of East Cambria could be more difficult to navigate than West Cambria’s - perhaps they are windier, or there isn’t sufficient lighting on the roads. There are many factors that could influence the drivers in West Cambria compared to East Cambria, and this could contribute to accident count.
The writer also mentions that the number of accidents in West Cambria increased 3% “during the week... following the change than had occurred during the week preceding it.” While this 3% could be a strong figure to argue the point, comparing one week to another - regardless of what two weeks it is - isn’t enough to draw such strong of a conclusion. The week prior to the speed change in West Cambria could have been an abnormally low week for number of accidents, or it could’ve been higher than average. Since we aren’t sure what exactly the figures were for both weeks and how they compare to other figures throughout the years, we cannot accept the conclusion that this 3% figure is material enough to conclude that changing speed limits are dangerous.
To strengthen the arguments in the article, the writer needs to present more data to the reader to form the basis of their conclusion. To assist with the comparison to West Cambria, the writer could mention that ways in which East and West Cambria are similar regarding their geographic and demographic make-up, helping further the reader’s understanding for comparing the two counties. Additionally, more statistical data on the count of accidents ranging over longer periods of time for West Cambria would help more clearly show the impact of speed changes in the county.
In conclusion, the writer fails to provide meaningful justification for why the change in speed limit adversely affects drivers. While the conclusion could be true, we as readers are not given sufficient information to draw the same conclusion.
Yogananda
Joined: 26 Jan 2020
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13 Sep 2020, 22:52
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Hello Mate,
You can use this link to evaluate your essay's readability and organisation, though we do not know how accurate results it gives.
https://www.mbacrystalball.com/gre/gre-essay-grader
Hope it helps.
You can use this link to evaluate your essay's readability and organisation, though we do not know how accurate results it gives.
https://www.mbacrystalball.com/gre/gre-essay-grader
Hope it helps.
18 Sep 2020, 23:14
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krogers95 - It's a good AWA attempt and such an essay could very well fetch you a score of 5 or above on the real-GMAT. Please make sure to proofread your work to eliminate a few minor grammar issues. I would also recommend working slighting on the overall volume of the essay. All the best.
