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Learn what truly sets the UC Riverside MBA apart and how it helps in your professional growth
24 Jul 2015, 23:28
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Hi, I'm non- native speaker. anyone please help rate my first essay.
Thank you so much
Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities
The author concludes that since America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development to counteract this trend. The author’s line of reasoning is that American spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping, and instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. This argument is based on several questionable assumption and is logically unpersuasive for several reasons. In this essay, I will discuss reason and example to support my view point.
To begin with, the author’s conclusion that Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development to counteract this trend is based on the questionable assumption that spending time on shopping is not consider as a self-development activity. However, shopping can sometime be one way to develop personal and communal skill. For example, one will likely to develop a decision-making skill through product selecting during shopping, and also one may think of shopping as a family activity, which brought each member together and helps help strengthen the relationship within the family. A benefit that is a foundation for the country’s economy and competitive edge. Thus, it seem improbable to conclude, without considering other possible aspect of shopping, that Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development.
Moreover, the author assumes that spending more time focused on personal and communal development has a positive correlation with improving in competitive edge of America. However, the author fails to consider other possible factors, which play important role in competitive edge of a country. For instance, lack of major infrastructure and poor transportation system within the country could be a major hamper for the competitive edge of a country because they will add a significant costs to the majority of the exporters, increasing the price higher than that the world market. Therefore, this assumption is unpersuasive and the author’s conclusion, in absence of further evidence, is weakened as a result.
In the light of the above, to convince me that Americans should reduce shopping time and spend more time for personal development, the author needs to provide me evidence that spending time in shopping is, in all aspect, not contributing to any personal and communal development, and that American spending too much time in shopping is the only reasoning for losing competitive edge. In absence of this information the author conclusion is untenable and rather weak.
Thank you so much
Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities
The author concludes that since America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development to counteract this trend. The author’s line of reasoning is that American spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping, and instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. This argument is based on several questionable assumption and is logically unpersuasive for several reasons. In this essay, I will discuss reason and example to support my view point.
To begin with, the author’s conclusion that Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development to counteract this trend is based on the questionable assumption that spending time on shopping is not consider as a self-development activity. However, shopping can sometime be one way to develop personal and communal skill. For example, one will likely to develop a decision-making skill through product selecting during shopping, and also one may think of shopping as a family activity, which brought each member together and helps help strengthen the relationship within the family. A benefit that is a foundation for the country’s economy and competitive edge. Thus, it seem improbable to conclude, without considering other possible aspect of shopping, that Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development.
Moreover, the author assumes that spending more time focused on personal and communal development has a positive correlation with improving in competitive edge of America. However, the author fails to consider other possible factors, which play important role in competitive edge of a country. For instance, lack of major infrastructure and poor transportation system within the country could be a major hamper for the competitive edge of a country because they will add a significant costs to the majority of the exporters, increasing the price higher than that the world market. Therefore, this assumption is unpersuasive and the author’s conclusion, in absence of further evidence, is weakened as a result.
In the light of the above, to convince me that Americans should reduce shopping time and spend more time for personal development, the author needs to provide me evidence that spending time in shopping is, in all aspect, not contributing to any personal and communal development, and that American spending too much time in shopping is the only reasoning for losing competitive edge. In absence of this information the author conclusion is untenable and rather weak.
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