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Please rate my essay

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Joined: 15 Aug 2017
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Please rate my essay [#permalink]

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New post 15 Aug 2017, 22:47
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people enjoy life more than older people do.

In life, every person's definition of enjoyment is different based on how one perceives life. Some people find happiness in very basic things of life which makes them delighted. while others may enjoy grander and lavish things. Such definitions of pursuits of enjoyment keeps changing in life of a person with the passage of time. While some people might think that older people enjoy life more than the younger ones, others would disagree. In my opinion, I believe that the younger people enjoy life more for two important reasons.

The main reason is that young people have energy and vigour. Since they usually have more physical strength and the liveliness to pursue any activity, they can enjoy life more as they indulge in more adventurous activities. For instance, I remember a few months ago, me and my friends went for a vacation to Spain. To make it more interesting and adventurous, we planned for a road trip. We stopped at multiple locations in between and tried out different foods. The place was so scenically beautiful and tool many photographs and did a lot of funny things. We tried many fun activities like deep sea diving, bungy jumping, etc. Although they were very physically demanding and a bit scary, we were able to do them as we were in good health. We also participated in many cultural events of different places and enjoyed a lot. Such experience remained stuck in our minds in the form of great memories. As you can see, this experience would not have been possible for us if we were not young enough to pursue such physically demanding activities.

Another reason is that young people have relatively lower responsibilities. This ensures that they can plan out any trips or activities without thinking much about other things like providing financial aid to family and thus, can enjoy their life to the fullest. For example, when I was in high school, there was a mini trip planned by my friends to the outskirts of the city. At that time, I had my annual exams n another two months. Although exams were my top priority as I did not have any other responsibilities as a student, I still took out time for that trip as such wonderful experiences may not have happened later when I had to take more responsibilities like assisting my younger sister in her studies. This experience taught me that as young people, we have access to a lot more avenues of enjoyment as compared to my parents who may not be able to do so because they have to support us financially and hence, I made it a point to enjoy a lot on such trips.

In sum, while others may oppose this viewpoint, I believe that young people enjoy life more than older people do. Not only do they they have more strength and vigour to indulge in any kind of physical activities but also they have lesser responsibilities to shoulder and hence, can take out time easily to enjoy life. I would recommend all the young people that along with other important things of their lives, they should make the use of the prime time of their youth to enjoy their lives in the best possible manner.

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New post 15 Aug 2017, 23:36
Essay is well-written.
Use of language is good and articulate. Grammer and punctuation use is also proper with some minor lapses like repeat use of they in "Not only do they they have more strength" in last paragraph".
It is easily a 4.0 - 5.0 rate essay

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Re: Please rate my essay   [#permalink] 15 Aug 2017, 23:36
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