Please Rate my essay. Much appreciated

The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.


The argument states that America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries, because Americans waste too much time on shopping for non-essential goods, and in order to counteract this trend, they should be devoting more of their time on personal and communal development. Stated in this way argument fails to consider several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Furthermore, the conclusion of the argument is based on assumptions which are either flawed or not necessarily apply to this argument. For example, argument makes claim that time Americans spend on shopping is too much even though it just quarter of the leisure time of typical American. Also, argument readily assumes that there is some kind of correlation between competitive edge of the country and how its citizens spend their leisure time. And finally argument suggests that Americans should spend more time on personal and communal development, even though there is no any indication that the time currently devoted to those activities is not enough.
First issue to be addressed is whether the time Americans spend on shopping is too much. Argument explicitly indicates that Americans spend only quarter of their leisure time on shopping. Clearly, this cannot be considered too much for any activity since it doesn’t even constitute most of the leisure time, let alone total time of the individual. The fact that the author of the argument does not like the idea of shopping does not make time devoted to this activity too much. In addition, one could argue that time spent on shopping cannot be considered wasted as consumption usually stimulates economy.
Argument also relies on the idea that somehow competitive position of the country and leisure time spending habits of its citizens are correlated. This idea is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. In fact, most of the time opposite is true: citizens of the most competitive and economically stable countries usually devote more of their time to leisure activities than do citizens of the other countries. Author of the argument fails to understand that competitiveness and economic advancement of the country are depended on factors such as: productivity, economic system, level of the education and have nothing to do with leisure time spending habits of population.
Finally, argument suggest that Americans need to devote more time to Personal and communal development. This suggestion is made without evaluating amount of time Americans currently devote to those activities. There is no any indication or piece of evidence to suggest necessity of additional time. Without this information, one is left with impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case argument fails to demonstrate why quarter of leisure time is considered too much or what kind of correlation is between time spent on shopping and economic position. Furthermore argument fails to demonstrate necessity of additional time investment in communal and personal development of Americans. Thus, the argument is flawed for above mentioned reasons.