Please rate my essay! Sitting for the exam in just a week
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13 May 2018, 19:10
Hi could you please rate my essay??
In the pasage, the author states that regularly buying and drinking Saluda Spring Water is beneficial for health due to that waters' various beneficial properties, such as containing several minerals and being free of bacteria. Although the author has a point, his argumentation lacks a series of elements which must be furthur analyzed in order to determine the effectiveness of his proposed action plan.
In the first place, the author affirms that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health but provides no additional guidance on whether if the minerals actually contained by the water are particullary thoose of most importance. A reader will certainly know, however, that at least some of the minerals necesary for good health are not contained in Saluda Natural Spring Water. Furthermore, the author affirms that the water is completely free of bacteria, without analyzing whether some level of bacteria is in fact beneficial for health.
In the second place, the author fails to properly back up his argumentation with a solid stream of evidence and merely mentions Saluda's low hospitalization rate compared to the national average. By providing this sole example, the author fails to consider other factors which may in fact explain the reduced hospitalization rate at Saluda's, such as, the poor quality of the health infraestructure of the town, the average age of its citizens, the quality of the environment at the town and the working conditions of Saluda's workforce, among other factors which would jointly or individually help explain the discrepacy.
Lastly, the author fails to evaluate the opportunity cost of the money used to acquire the Saluda Natural Spring Water vis-a-vis drinking water straight from the tap. As with any so called "investment", benefits should not be evalued in absolute but in relative terms. The author should consider, for example, if an individual could drastically improve its health coverage plan or its dietary plan with the money him o her would otherwise use to acquire Saluda Natural Spring Water.
In esscence, the argument that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water instead of tap water could be a wise investment needs further analysis to be considered fairily well reasoned: both the mineral and bacterial composition of the water should be furthur analyzed, additional evidence should be provided taking into consideration that correlation does not imply causation and the opportunity cost of money should be profundly analyzed.