In the first four years that Montoya has served as mayor of the city o
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07 Jun 2020, 21:53
Hello everyone,
My name is Jason and I'm starting to practice for the GMAT. I was hoping someone could read my essay and give me any tips.
tHANK yOU!!!
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
"In the first four years that Montoya has served as mayor of the city of San Perdito, the population has decreased and the unemployment rate has increased. Two businesses have closed for each new business that has opened. Under Varro, who served as mayor for four years before Montoya, the unemployment rate decreased and the population increased. Clearly, the residents of San Perdito would be best served if they voted Montoya out of office and reelected Varro."
The editorial states that Montoya should be voted out of office because of the worsening unemployment numbers in the city of San Perdito. The argument makes a few critical errors. Making his or her case, the writer not only uses vague language to describe the population and unemployment changes but also compares the two mayors without using evidence that the terms they governed are similar.
First off, the statistics are described as increases and decreases, failing to give context for how big a change is really happening. A marginal difference where the rates hover around zero percent would mean that the use of these words is misleading, It would strengthen this argument if the real values for these percent changes were included and demonstrated greater than expected unemployment and a drastic spike in population loss.
Secondly, while comparing the two mayors, the argument fails to include evidence that the situation surrounding the different terms are comparable. In fact, the editorial gives us information on how their terms are different, stating that population is decreasing and that businesses are closing at a high rate. Because it seems unlikely that these changes are being caused by policy changes, it is necessary to examine further what impact the mayor’s policy may have had on these figures. It would weaken the editorial’s case if the mayor has instituted tax incentives for residents and businesses but outside factors such as a dying central industry or nationwide economic downturn have kept the financial position of the city down. It would further weaken the point of view if the previous mayor’s policies were shown to only be temporary economic boosts such as an infrastructure project that ended.
Overall, due to the unclear verbiage and failure to fully compare the environment surrounding the two mayors, the argument contains several flaws that need to be addressed.
Thanks for reading!