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Please rate my toefl essay

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Joined: 03 Nov 2014
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Please rate my toefl essay  [#permalink]

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New post 11 Nov 2014, 07:59
Hi,

Writing is my weakest section, Could you please help me in rating this essay and comments which can help me with my writing.

"Contributions of artists vs scientists"

Some people would argue that the scientist contribute more to the society. Some would say that the artist has more crucial role to play in any society. But, no one could deny, that the scientists of any society are major players responsible for the society growth. Hence, I believe that the scientists to the society have more contributions to the society. I am going to discuss the reasons for my belief.
First, Invention of the new medicines is undoubtedly most critical thing for any society. Pandemic diseases, for example, Polio could have caused much havoc and crippled our new generation if the scientist were not able to invent the medicine to prevent this disease. Today, Polio is almost cleaned from the entire world except for few underdeveloped countries. But, this tremendous success was not possible without the efforts of the scientists.
Second, the Scientists to society have provided us with much easy mode of transport today. For example, in countries like India and China where population is the biggest problem to deal, invention of the metro trains is blessing. Today going to the office, shopping mall, and restaurant is very convenient. Mode of transport has made life very comfortable.
Third, Invention of the internet, has brought a revolution in the education industry. Today learning any new language, culture, completing assignments is very easy. Huge amount of information is available just a click away. For example, before the internet information was not in access of everyone. Students have to struggle with searching for the information in books in the library. Today, with the internet, information is easily accessible to everyone.
However, the artists to society do have an important place and major contributions to the society. For example, the artist capturing the history of any society, culture in its arts is most important heritage of any country. The artist creations can be used to teach children about the country's history and culture. But, the contributions of the artist are not on the comparable perimeter with the contributions of the scientist.
Some would also state that, the scientists are responsible for the creation of weapons, nuclear power. Weapons are the source of destruction and causes wars. But, one must understand that the scientist contributions to any society are huge. Their inventions can serve as well destroy any economy. It should be the responsibility of the society to leverage the benefits of the inventions for creation and not destruction. It further underscores the fact that contributions of the scientist to society are much bigger, if used for the development and progress of the society.
Finally, I would like to restate my belief that contributions of the scientist to any society are much more valuable, in comparison to contributions of the artists. The scientist of any society has the power with their creations to make any economy powerful and strong.
GMAT Club Bot
Please rate my toefl essay   [#permalink] 11 Nov 2014, 07:59

Please rate my toefl essay

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