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27 Sep 2013, 09:05
Kudos
Bookmarks
“The Cumquat Café began advertising on our local radio station this year and was
delighted to see its business increase by 10 percent over last year’s totals. Their
success shows you how you can use radio advertising to make your business more
profitable.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
->
The argument that the radio advertising would make a business more profitable is weak and unconvincing. The author assumes that the business increase of The Cumquat Cafe has a positive correlation with radio advertising. This might not be so, as it is possible that the business increase derives from different reasons.
In order to strengthen the argument I would like to conduct a customer's survey, checking the ratio of new customers who came to the Cafe Cumquat as a respond to the radio commercial, to the total new customers. If it is found that the proportion is high, than it could serve to support the argument that the radio advertising contributes to the profitability of a business. In addition the owner of the Cafe mentioned that over last year he didn't change anything in the business. This fact strength the possibility that the business increase is due to the radio advertising and not other reasons.
In his argument the author assumes that the radio advertising was the main factor that is responsible for the business success, while it is known that The Cumquant Cafe has also advertised over national TV, newspapers and internet. Therefore there is high possibility that the business increase mentioned above was due to advertisements in the various medias. Moreover, in the 3 years prior to last year, The Cumquat Cafe experienced a solid increase of 20% per year without advertising in the radio, a fact which undermines the positive affect of radio advertising.
In summary, the argument presented is neither sound nor persuasive as it lies on questionable assumptions about the affect of radio advertising, lacks important data about how much of the business increase is a attributed to the radio adverting, and fails to take into account possible alternative explanations for the causes of the business increase.
delighted to see its business increase by 10 percent over last year’s totals. Their
success shows you how you can use radio advertising to make your business more
profitable.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
->
The argument that the radio advertising would make a business more profitable is weak and unconvincing. The author assumes that the business increase of The Cumquat Cafe has a positive correlation with radio advertising. This might not be so, as it is possible that the business increase derives from different reasons.
In order to strengthen the argument I would like to conduct a customer's survey, checking the ratio of new customers who came to the Cafe Cumquat as a respond to the radio commercial, to the total new customers. If it is found that the proportion is high, than it could serve to support the argument that the radio advertising contributes to the profitability of a business. In addition the owner of the Cafe mentioned that over last year he didn't change anything in the business. This fact strength the possibility that the business increase is due to the radio advertising and not other reasons.
In his argument the author assumes that the radio advertising was the main factor that is responsible for the business success, while it is known that The Cumquant Cafe has also advertised over national TV, newspapers and internet. Therefore there is high possibility that the business increase mentioned above was due to advertisements in the various medias. Moreover, in the 3 years prior to last year, The Cumquat Cafe experienced a solid increase of 20% per year without advertising in the radio, a fact which undermines the positive affect of radio advertising.
In summary, the argument presented is neither sound nor persuasive as it lies on questionable assumptions about the affect of radio advertising, lacks important data about how much of the business increase is a attributed to the radio adverting, and fails to take into account possible alternative explanations for the causes of the business increase.
28 Sep 2013, 18:58
Kudos
Bookmarks
I think this needs some work. First off, I'd like to see five paragraphs (1 intro, 3 body paragraphs, 1 conclusion) in which each paragraph has at least 4-6 sentences in length. Why don't you try again and re-post?
I'd suggest that this attempt would score somewhere in between a 3.5 and a 4.0.
Hope this helps.
-Brian
I'd suggest that this attempt would score somewhere in between a 3.5 and a 4.0.
Hope this helps.
-Brian
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