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Please review and rate my essay. Thanks!

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Please review and rate my essay. Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 22 Jan 2018, 03:46
Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer?



During the last century, the industry of movies has highly developed, being one of the most spread way of entertainment. People around the world watch daily films from all categories such as dramas, comedies, thrillers, horror and psychological ones. I do not have a favorite type of screening, I enjoy both series movies and amusing ones, depending on my mood. In the next essay, I will expose my arguments regarding my statement.

To start with, when me and my friends come along, usually we choose to watch something funny. It is a method to have good time together, without spending too much money. Sometimes we go the cinema, other times we gather to one's place. I like to laugh when I am surrounded by family and friends, so comedies are the best choices. I consider that after five days at work, it is the best way to relax, to throw away the stress and pressure accumulated during the week. Two months ago, I invited my friends at home and watched "The Hangover". We cooked popcorn, order pizza and have a cheerfully evening.

On the other hand, I like following screenplays that are inspired from real stories and history. There are thousands of unbelievable situations that some persons lived. I have grown in a normal habitat, where most of my acquaintances did not encountered with dramatic scenes. Watching these made me realize that there are individuals out there who need help, support and that the world is not that safe as I thought. These films made be more emphatic, sympathetic, rational and prepared me for
some scenarios that might occur in my life too. I watched a movie about trafficked women. The biggest surprise was that horrifying trade was happening in my country too. I was not aware that around me there were girls who were forced into prostitution. After seeing this I join a campaign for protecting women rights.

As a result, I can say that I do not have a favorite type of movie. I strongly believe that each individual should watch all kind of films, in order to open their horizons, because no matter what subject is debated, generally subliminal messages are sent towards us.
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Re: Please review and rate my essay. Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 22 Jan 2018, 12:00
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Elenacristina wrote:
Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer?



During the last century, the industry of movies has highly developed, being one of the most spread way popular method of entertainment. People around the world watch daily films from all various categories such as dramas, comedies, thrillers, horror, and psychological ones. I do not have a favorite type of screening, I enjoy both series movies and amusing ones, depending on my mood. In the next essay, I will expose my arguments regarding my statement. Therefore, I will present reasons for why and when each type of movie is preferable for me.

To start with, when me and my friends my friends and I come along, usually we we usually choose to watch something funny. It is a method to have good time together, without spending too much money. Sometimes we go the cinema, other times we gather to one's place. I like to laugh when I am surrounded by family and friends, so comedies are the best choices. I consider that after five days at work, it is the best way to relax and to throw away the stress and pressure accumulated during the week. Two months ago, I invited my friends at home and watched "The Hangover". We cooked popcorn, ordered pizza, and have had a cheerfully evening.

On the other hand, I like following screenplays that are [color=#0000ff]inspired from real stories[/color] based on real events and history. There are thousands of unbelievable situations that some persons people lived. I have grown in a normal habitat, where most of my acquaintances did not encountered with dramatic scenes. Watching these kind of movies made me realize that there are individuals out there who need help and support and that the world is not that safe as I thought. These films made me be more emphatic, sympathetic, and rational, and prepared me for some scenarios that might occur in my life too. I watched a movie about trafficked women. The biggest surprise was that the horrifying trade was happening in my country too. I was not aware that around me there were girls who were forced into prostitution. After seeing this I join a campaign for protecting women rights. As a result, the feeling moved me so deeply that I joined a campaign to protect women's rights.

As a result, I can say that I do not have a favorite type of movie. I strongly believe that each individual should watch all kind of films, in order to open their horizons, because no matter what subject is debated, generally subliminal messages are sent towards us.



Hi,

overall, good essay, with well-identified ideas. My opinion though, in this kind of essays, it is better to choose one side and provide the reasons why you picked one. I know it is hard to find ideas, especially when you are under time pressure, but with practice, you will feel more comfortable doing so.
I have pointed out in colors the errors that I would change.

Good luck with your TOEFL test!
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Please review and rate my essay. Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 22 Jan 2018, 13:20
Hello!

Thank you very much for your review and suggestions. I really appreciate your advice.
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New post 22 Jan 2018, 13:47
1
Elenacristina wrote:
Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer?



During the last century, the industry of movies has highly developed, being one of the most spread way of entertainment. People around the world watch daily films from all categories such as dramas, comedies, thrillers, horror and psychological ones. I do not have a favorite type of screening, I enjoy both series movies and amusing ones, depending on my mood. In the next essay, I will expose my arguments regarding my statement.

To start with, when me and my friends come along, usually we choose to watch something funny. It is a method to have good time together, without spending too much money. Sometimes we go the cinema, other times we gather to one's place. I like to laugh when I am surrounded by family and friends, so comedies are the best choices. I consider that after five days at work, it is the best way to relax, to throw away the stress and pressure accumulated during the week. Two months ago, I invited my friends at home and watched "The Hangover". We cooked popcorn, order pizza and have a cheerfully evening.

On the other hand, I like following screenplays that are inspired from real stories and history. There are thousands of unbelievable situations that some persons lived. I have grown in a normal habitat, where most of my acquaintances did not encountered with dramatic scenes. Watching these made me realize that there are individuals out there who need help, support and that the world is not that safe as I thought. These films made be more emphatic, sympathetic, rational and prepared me for
some scenarios that might occur in my life too. I watched a movie about trafficked women. The biggest surprise was that horrifying trade was happening in my country too. I was not aware that around me there were girls who were forced into prostitution. After seeing this I join a campaign for protecting women rights.

As a result, I can say that I do not have a favorite type of movie. I strongly believe that each individual should watch all kind of films, in order to open their horizons, because no matter what subject is debated, generally subliminal messages are sent towards us.



Hey! As mentioned above, good essay. I would also suggest choosing one standpoint and presenting arguments to support it. Generally, with TOEFL , you need to write lots and lots of essays so that when the time comes, you write it practically automatically. You don't even have to think about the structure, it should come naturally to you. On the exam day, you become so nervous that it comes quite handy if you know what you will write and where you wanna go with it right from the start! Good luck!

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Re: Please review and rate my essay. Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 23 Jan 2018, 02:26
Hello!

Thank you for your reply! I will take into consideration your suggestions.
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Re: Please review and rate my essay. Thanks! &nbs [#permalink] 23 Jan 2018, 02:26
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