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Please Review my Essay.

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Joined: 01 Apr 2013
Posts: 6
Location: United States
Schools: HBS 2+2 '20 (II)
GMAT 1: 760 Q51 V41
GPA: 3.7
Please Review my Essay.  [#permalink]

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New post 09 Aug 2013, 00:24
The following appeared in a market research report examining consumer perceptions of a chain of clothing stores:

"A recent survey commissioned by the market research department of XY Gen Stores indicated a high level of recognition among consumers of the brand and the nature of the apparel sold in XY Gen Stores. However, the survey also indicated that approximately 60% of those surveyed that recognized the name of XY Gen Stores had never shopped at one of the company's stores. Because of this result, XY Gen Stores executives should launch a significant rebranding and marketing campaign to change the company's image and thereby bring new consumers into the stores.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.


The market research report mentions that XY Gen Stores as high level of brand recognition. However, it states that only 60% of the people surveyed that recognised the brand have every shopped at the company's stores. Thus the report concludes that XY Gen Stores should undergo a major rebranding to bring in new costumers. While this argument may have some merit, it lacks evidence and makes significant assumptions in a few places.

Firstly the argument claimed that of those people that recognised the brand only 60% have ever shopped that the companies' stores. However this survey did not demonstrate how many of these people have bought the product of XY Gen Stores online. This can potentially be a significant number of the people surveyed. For instance, UK Clothings, a significant brand in England, has only a few stores across the country. 70% of its customers are gained from online sales. Thus to make this argument clearer, it would be better to know what other avenues the company uses to sell its products and what percentage of people that recognise the brand use these other avenues.

Secondly the argument does not provide the reader into any information of what time product the store sells. This is crucial evidence that can help in determining what is a normal ratio of brand recognition to customers visiting the store for the particular type of product. Luxury goods may have a high level of brand recognition, yet only a few customers due to its high price and exclusiveness. For example, while Ferrari is an extremely popular car brand through out the world, only a few people would have every been to a Ferrari store or driven the car. Similarly it is possible that product sold by the store is luxury item. In this case such ratio of brand recognition to customer visiting the store could be normal, and perhaps any re-marketing would cause the product to lose its exclusive value. Thus the argument could be made better if it detailed the type of product the company sold and if it gave percentages of brand recognition for companies that have similar products.

Lastly, the report makes vague statements without citing any evidence. The report states that the company should undergo a rebranding to 'change the company's image and thereby bring new customers into the stores'. However the report does not describe how this rebranding will help bring new customers into the stores. It is just as likely that a poor job of rebranding can deter customers. For example in the 1960s, Coca Cola went under a major rebranding to attract customers that drank Pepsi. However the campaign failed so badly, that Coca Cola lost several customers that it already had and was forced to revert to it previous campaign within 6 months. To prevent a similar situation with XY Gen Stores, the report should do better to explain the manner of rebranding.

The argument has a few flaws as described in the points above. While it has certain merits, it can be made stronger my expanding on a few points, providing more evidence and clarify assumptions as described above.

Thank You
Princeton Review Representative
Joined: 17 Jun 2013
Posts: 159
Re: Please Review my Essay.  [#permalink]

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New post 12 Aug 2013, 08:49
This essay is very good - it brings up valid assumptions and explains them very well. you even get examples without losing track of the purpose of the essay. However, there are several typos and wrong words which make the essay harder to read. Spending a bit of time on proofreading at the end will allow you to reach even higher scores. As written I would score this essay a 5

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Joined: 30 Apr 2018
Posts: 10
Re: Please Review my Essay.  [#permalink]

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New post 29 Jun 2018, 01:48
There are many online shopping sites for women clothing. We all prefer ​women’s clothing online stores​ because in clothing websites you will get a lot of option to choose from. There are many categories in cloth lines in which you can choose all new trends along with formal, casual, wedding party etc dresses. So, you can find all your desire clothing on one site. Somi Han London has vast experience in women clothing line, dresses, shoes and other trendy products. Moreover, you can see a lot of reviews by which you can easily know the quality of dress and views of people on it. Ultimately, it will become easier for you to buy your best clothes from the online site.

A standard variety of choices in women's apparel is available at Somi Han London online clothing store. You should go for an honest online clothing shopping site to buy your products.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: Please Review my Essay. &nbs [#permalink] 29 Jun 2018, 01:48
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Please Review my Essay.

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