Please score my AWA for GMAT , suggestions also.
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06 Apr 2016, 11:58
Following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the apogee company :
When the apogee company had all its operations in one location, it was profitable than its today. Therefore the company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.
Above statement speaks about business operations for a company called "apogee company". Writer has weakened the argument by not providing enough details.
Firstly he mentions that when the company was operated from one location they saw some profits but argument failed to mention the factual data of how much profit did company really see.
Secondly, argument suggests to close down another locations and operate from single location which is really a bad idea. for the future business expansion a company should be located in multiple locations. For example, if we consider GM today it has locations in all the six continents throughout the world which really helped them grabbing the global car market by understanding the exact needs of the customer. I feel when company is in expanding phase it needs to target globally but not stick to domestic market.
Finally , argument concluded saying centralization would improve profits and making better supervision. Writer failed to provide an example for a company which is or has been operated centrally. Ofcourse company can cut costs by centralization but that would definitely going to affect its growth nationally and internationally.
On the whole, the argument was weakened by not providing enough statistics.