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Rate my AWA

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Intern
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Joined: 21 Jul 2018
Posts: 2
Rate my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 26 Aug 2018, 15:16
1
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company:

"When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees."

Discuss how logically persuasive you find the above argument. In presenting your point of view, analyze the sort of reasoning used and supporting evidence. In addition, state what further evidence, if any, would make the argument more sound and convincing or would make you better able to evaluate its conclusion.

Your response

The argument claims that Apogee Company should close down its field office and conduct all its operations from a single location and that such centralization would improve profit by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion relies on the assumption, for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that Apogee Company was more profitable when it had all its operation in one location. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. Argument does not tell what kind of the company Apogee is. Through this statement author suggests not to expand. In addition, for instance think if Apogee digs out mines out of earth and it was the only company in the region but as the time passed competition increased as other company with same interest introduced in region now company has two options either to expand or die slowly, obviously it will expand because something is better than nothing, in addition company may have long term benefits in doing so. The argument would have been much clearer if explicitly gave example of how remaining on same strategy would help company to become more profitable.

Second company claims that coming back to earlier used strategy will make company more profitable. Whereas the argument does give substantive evidence that by doing so company will be more profitable. Author would have sounded more convincing if author could tell us how going back to same strategy, which is used earlier, company will be more profitable.

Finally the argument concludes that if Apogee operates all its operation from a single location, it would improve profitability by cutting cost and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees. From this statement again, it is not at all clear how centralization will reduce cost and how company will maintain better supervision of all employees. Without supporting evidence and example from other similar companies, one is left with the impression that the claim is wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. As a result, the argument has no legs to stand on.

Because the argument leaves out several key issues, it is not sound or persuasive. If it included the items discussed above, it would have been more thorough and convincing. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.
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Re: Rate my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 06 Sep 2018, 07:37
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I am not an expert hence will not be able to grade your AWA. Just my personal opinion after going through your essay contains the essential ingredients, i.e. no. of paras, structural words etc to take you over the line.

You may find the following link useful:-

https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html
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Re: Rate my AWA &nbs [#permalink] 06 Sep 2018, 07:37
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Rate my AWA

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