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05 Dec 2006, 18:21
Kudos
Bookmarks
I'm preparing my resume for upload and is there anything in particular we need to change in the resume.
Include the GPA?
GMAT Score?
I was thinking about putting on objective on the resume. Somthing to the effect.... Full-time admission offer from XYZ. I don't think many applicants would write the objective.
Include the GPA?
GMAT Score?
I was thinking about putting on objective on the resume. Somthing to the effect.... Full-time admission offer from XYZ. I don't think many applicants would write the objective.
05 Dec 2006, 18:32
Kudos
Bookmarks
homefry
Joanne, director of admissions walks calmy into her office on a blistery winter Monday morning. She stops to wonder if the divorce papers will be served today but puts the thought to the side. Days like these, she has trouble concentrating. A cup of coffee, she thinks, might just make all the difference.
She walks to the faculty lounge where a hispanic male of ambigious origin is refilling the donuts mumbling something incoherent. She feels a chill run up her spine - he's always given her the creeps for some reason. Shrugging it off, she knows today will be another tough one. Black coffee, two sugars, as always.
Mary, the admissions co-director walks in and says hello, looking like an abomination of God. Joanne cant help but wonder if it was Jack and Coke this morning or Tequila. She smells like Vodka. Joanne passes her, careful not to strike up a conversation, or else Mary might just go off on another rant about her "genetic disaster of a boyfriend" and how he's in jail again. Then something catches her eye.
It's coming off the printer.... It can't be, can it? Incredously, she approaches the HP LaserJet 5 with PCL 5/6 and gigabit ethernet ports amd stops. How did she know all that about the printer? She can't even figure out how to get the porn her son downloaded off her work laptop. Something is strange about today. There's an electricity in the air. She can feel the hair on her knees, unshaven since last Tuesday, stand up and tingle.
She slowly lifts the paper off the printer as if infested with some kind of apocalyptic disease. She gasps as she falls backwards away from the printer.
It ... It just can't be....
Stunned, it takes her a moment to remember that her alcoholic *complain* of an assistant is still in the room.
Joanne: "Oh my goodness, Mary look! We got another application!"
Mary looks dumbfounded. Her worn synapses fire random electrical impluses as she tries to comprehend the statement through the vaporous cloud of tequila that fogs her mind on a daily basis. A rare moment of lucidity occurs and she's able to respond:
Mary: "Really, no way!! What do they want???"
The excitement grows as Joanne is now flipping through the pages furiously and spastically. It reminds Mary of when she caught her autistic thirteen year old son masterbating to a photo of a flower.
Joanne: "I HAVE NO IDEA!! LETS LOOK AT HIS OBJECTIVE"
Mary jumps across Joanne's lap, scraping her legs against the sandpaper legs only a single woman can know. She flips to the resume. The anticipation is killing her.
Mary: "OH MY GOD, HE WANTS TO GET AN MBA!!! FINALLY!"
Mary jumps up and down for joy, scarsely able to mantain her composure. She's definetly pounded back a couple today.
Joanne: "WE'VE BEING WAITING FOR THIS ONE MARY."
Mary: "YES, YES WE HAVE. I CANT STAND GETTING ALL THESE APPLICATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO WANT TO FIND A PENPAL, OR TRADE COOKIE RECIPES, OR ASK FOR MINIVAN SUGGESTIONS, ... SERIOUSLY, ISN'T ANYONE APPLYING TO GET INTO THIS SCHOOL ANYMORE?"
Joanne: "YEA, YOUD THINK SO, BUT JEEZ, WITHOUT THIS OBJECTIVE, WE WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN THAT!"
Mary offers her insight into this strange situation.
Mary: "YOUR RIGHT, THANK GOODNESS PEOPLE PUT OBJECTIVES ON THERE, OR ELSE I MIGHT MISTAKE THIS FOR A EUTHANASIA BROCHURE OR THE WARRANTY CARD TO MY LAPTOP. YOU NEVER KNOW!"
Indeed, Mary recalls fondly that little "prank" she pulled on accepted students last year and continues:
Mary: "WE SHOULD MAIL THE PERSON WHO WROTE AN OBJECTIVE A EUTHANASIA BROCHURE!"
Concerned that Mary may need to be hospitalized for her random bouts of schizophrenic grandure again, Mary quickly sets her straight.
Joanne: "WELL NOW MARY, YOU REMEMBER HOW THAT WORKED OUT LAST YEAR DONT YOU? OUR YIELD WASN'T 0% FOR NOTHING..."
Just at that moment, the janitor who Mary and Joanne had forgotten about locks the door and turns slowly towards them with an evil looking smirk. He smiles and says:
"It's Goatse time."
THE END.
Objectives suck. I want to murder people who write objectives. For the love of god, you really have to tell them that the objective of your application is to get accepted? I mean there are just so many reasons you could be applying... maybe you want to trade cookie recipes or something, or maybe, just maybe, the objective of the whole !@(#!@( thing is to get in?
Sorry for rant, I just hate objectives.
Include GPA if high, otherwise exclude - they'll see it in your transcripts anyway. Just don't highlight it for them. I wouldn't list GMAT either, they already have the data elsewhere.
. Just leave the objective home.
