Well, I understand where you are and why you are unwilling to take one (or scared perhaps)
There are some people that have an anxiety of tests and feel very uncomfortable taking them.
However, knowing how you perform is very important - it is not a measure of anything, just a pulse check - you want to know where you are in the journey, think of it in terms of geography. Does it matter if you are in Arizona, Texas, or Utah?
One way to ease into it, is to take a test without timing. Not very useful from the standpoint of preparing for the GMAT, but could be very helpful to gain some of the confidence back and see how much time you REALLY need (you may be surprised).
Do you know your level by the way?