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Re: The package of benefits and incentives that Ready-to-Ware offers to pr [#permalink]
Expert Reply
AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!


Good Luck

mariachiarafico wrote:
Hi, could someone give me a score? thanks :)

Sajjad1994

The argument claims that the package of benefits and incentives that, Ready To Ware, the software engineering firm, offers to its professional staff, is too expensive. The writer affirm that the quarterly profits of the company have been reduced since the introductions of the package two years ago. Further, the package seemed to have a limited positive effect since the company has not been able to recruit and train a large number of high-quality professional staff. The writer goes on by asserting that because of the negative impact of the package, the company should offer it and use the savings to fund its current research and development studies. However, the conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument relies on one big assumption, that is the correlation between the reduced quarterly profits to the negative impact of the packages offered. This statement is a stretch because it doesn’t rely on any specific historical data or analysis. The company, in order to do such a statement, should have studied the causes that lay behind the reduced profits. The company could have found that the reduction could have been related to lower revenues in the period to which the profits are referred.

Second, another assumption is that the little positive effect of the company’s package can be explained by the marginal success in recruiting and training professional staff. Clearly, the writer does not consider other factors into the lessen of recruitment. To illustrate this, we shall observe that the company itself could have been the main cause of the less attractiveness to high-quality staff. For example, Ready-to-Ware, in the two years period, could have received a great amount of bad reviews which could have given the company a bad image in its target market.

Furthermore, the argument claims that the company should sell its package and use the savings to invest in its research department. However, this could easily turn out to be a bad move for the company. Its workers could be less motivated to work once this benefit will not be given. On the other hand, investing in the research area, which is an area that is strongly subject to uncertainty, may be too risky and could lead to an increase of the costs. In order to make this assumption, the company should predict the impact that this investment could grant.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case, it is necessary to have data which could explain the impact on the company of the package. Without this fundamental information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: The package of benefits and incentives that Ready-to-Ware offers to pr [#permalink]
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