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Toefl Essay Evaluation

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Joined: 02 Aug 2015
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Toefl Essay Evaluation  [#permalink]

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New post 02 Aug 2015, 19:29
Hi. Could you please evaluate this TOEFL essay that I have written. The question is:

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Answer:

When I was a kid, I dreaded wearing the same dress everyday. I would wait for occasions when wearing 'civil' dress would be allowed in school or say, during annual day functions and similar ceremonies. However, it was only when I joined college that I realised the importance of and appreciated the necessity of having 'uniforms'. My support for a uniform dress code is because it saves a lot of time and effort put in deciding 'what to wear', counters issues of social and personal pressures on teenagers to meet societal standards of beauty and promotes discipline.

One of the most important observations that I have made in the recent past is the amount of time that gets wasted in the morning to decide a dress for college. On the contrary, school life was much easy. Having a uniform dress code saves a lot of time and effort which can be used to focus on other productive activities. For example, I used to have ample time to read the newspaper in the morning throughout my school life because it hardly took time to 'get ready' for school. Now, I seem to spend a lot of my time in front of the wardrobe, deciding what to wear.

Moreover, I think, it lessens any unwanted distractions that students face. It is an obvious fact that students through the teens face many intrapersonal issues of body image and self-worth. In such a situation, having a uniform dress code reduces the constant pressure on students to 'look a certain way'. Usually, this is also the cause for discrimination amongst students. Social pressures coupled with pyschological stress can exacerbate not just an individual's performance record but have deleterious effects on self worth and confidence too.

In addition to this, uniforms also promote discipline and highlight some of the most basic values that need to be cultivated in human beings. It makes students follow rules and conform to norms, without discriminating against the other. Discipline, I believe, is one of the most important qualities that any individual needs to possess to succeed in life. While I agree that conformity might always not be healthy, it is certainly an attribute makes one more focussed, and determined in life.

Finally, it may be a good reinforcement for students if the school allows wearing civil dress during festivities or cultural events. That way, students would learn to appreciate the differences amongst themselves without being clouded by pre-conceived ideas based on attire. This might not just achieve a balance between what the students want and what the authorities wish to promote, but also bolster discipline amongst students.
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Toefl Essay Evaluation   [#permalink] 02 Aug 2015, 19:29
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