Hi all, just started AWA today. Put it off for the last day as I figured it's the most relaxing of the lot of to-do's. Anyhow, my GMAT is tmrw at noon so any input would be greatly appreciated. "In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires." My essay: The argument here is that people, in general, are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Based on the evidence provided by the author, the argument is not well supported. The following paragraphs will explain why the support is weak and how the arguments could be improved. A main weakness of the argument is that the evidence is absed on a general, visual observation. Let's take a look at the statement regarding Heart's Delight. The author claims that because the store started selling organic fruits and vegetables in the 1960's and have more recently offered high butterfat cheese, people are not as concerned with their intake of fatty cheese. The simple fac tthat cheese is available at the store is the basis for the author's claim. However, it is still possible to eat fatty chese in moderation and still be concerned with the amount of intake. For example, a customer may purchase a block of cheese to serve at a party. This does not mean that he/she is not concerned with the amount of the fatty product he/hse will consume. The argument would be strengthened if there was evidence that people eat an unhealthy amount of fatty cheese on an individual basis. This could done by providing statistics from a governing health organization. The argument fails in that is makes a huge assumption, again, based on visual observation. The evidence states that the Good Earth Cafe owners make a modest living while the House of Beef owners are millionaires. First of all, there is no evidence of this fact. It is almost impossible to assess a business owner's net worth based on appearances. Also, the author assumes that the financial success of a food establishment is solely based on the popularity of the product it serves. This is clearly not the case. It is common knowledge that a successful restaurant requires proper management inorder to be successful. The evidence, again, would benefit from proof that the House of Beef owner's are millionaires and the Good Earth Cafe owners are not. In conclusion, the evidence in support of the argument is wek. There is little to substantiate the claims made by the author with his/her evidence based on visual observations. As well, there were assumptions made that greatly weak the credibility of the arguments.

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In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago

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Sajjad1994

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29 Jun 2021, 09:49

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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

RitwikBajaj

Hi all,

Prompt

"In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires."

Just started AWA prep. First attempt at writing one below. Appearing for GMAT in 5 days. Please let me know your inputs. Thanks in advance and stay safe.

---------------------------
The author claims that people are not concerned about regulating their unhealthy food intake (red meat and fatty cheeses) and cites a few examples of restaurants that are selling such food (cause) are thriving financially (effect), Stated in this way the argument reveals examples of oversimplification, leap of faith and non-exhaustive considersation of other possible reasons to explain the observations of restaurants.

Firstly, the author assumes that increasing sale points of red meat and fatty cheeses is directly related to increased consumption without any evidence. For example, Heart's Delight could have ventured into burgers line of business but might still be selling much higher vegetables and whole-grain flours vs. 1960. This counters the author's view that offering cheese / burger products directly relates to more people consuming unhealthy food. Had the argument clearly stated the evidence of increasing consumption of cheese and red meat and organic healthy food vs. consumption in 1960, it would be more convincing.

Secondly, the financial success of House of Beef or financial distress of Good Earth Cafe could be the result of several other factors like quality, internal operations management, market competition, price efficiency, cost efficiency etc. The argument assumes the only reason House of Beef is thrving is because of increased demand of unhealthy food vs. Good Earth Cafe's vegetarian healthy products. For example, Good Earth Cafe might be offering inferior products and people might be buying vegetarian food from other restaurants. Had the argmument used a broader database of sale of vegetarian healthy food serving places vs. unhealthy food serving places, it would have been more convincing in its stance.

Thirdly, the argument commits the flaw of over-simplification and generalization. Using observations from 3 restaurants to come to a conclusion that applies to people in general seems to be a very far-fetched approach. As the argument stands, there is substantial lack of evidence to support the bold statement made. For example, there could be 50 other vegetarian healthy restaurants doing much better than the 2-3 mentioned. Another possibility could be the consumption of vegetarian food has increased much more than consumption of red meat and fatty cheeses.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. Had the author stated relevant facts, the argument could be considerably strengthened. In this case - take other factors into consideration for business success/failure, establish link between sale point and consumption pattern, increase/decrease in consumption of healthy food vs. unhealthy food now vs. 10 years ago etc. Without this information, t. he argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate

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14 Jul 2021, 08:35

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Hi, I would like to ask for an opinion on my essay. I've used the template shared by chineseburned.

Prompt:
“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners ofthe new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”

Answer:
The argument claims that people, in general, are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that because Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960s, has started offering a wide selection of cheeses with high butterfat content, people are not regulating their intake of fatty cheeses. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. For example, customers might be buying a lot of cheese for big parties, hence it will be consumed by many people. Another example is the consumption of cheese over a longer period of time. In both examples, the individual consumption of cheese is not affected. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the facts about individual meat and cheese consumptions relative to those of people in the 1960's.

Second, the argument claims that the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, a vegetarian restaurant, make a modest living and those of House of Beef are millionaires. It thus suggests that people are consuming more red meat than vegetables. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the wealth of the owners and the general consumption of meat. While it can be assumed that House of Beef is making more money than Good Earth Cafe, the success cannot be solely attributed to more consumption of meat. The success of a business is dependent on various factors such as execution and marketing. If the argument had provided the overall sales of meat relative to those of organic fruits and vegetables, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing.

Finally, the argument assumes that the owners of House of Beef are wealthy because of the high sales of beef. It overlooks the possibility that a large portion of the owners' wealth might be sourced from other businesses or, in fact, a business selling organics and vegetables. Without any statistical data of individual consumptions and overall sales in both categories of food, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. As a result, the conclusion has no legs to stand on.

In summary, the argument is flawed and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all relevant facts. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.

PS: This is my first AWA try.

Thanks

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14 Jul 2021, 10:05

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Welcome to GMAT Club!

AWA Score: 6 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

paragamrutkar

Hi, I would like to ask for an opinion on my essay. I've used the template shared by chineseburned.

Prompt:
“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners ofthe new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”

Answer:

The argument claims that people, in general, are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that because Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960s, has started offering a wide selection of cheeses with high butterfat content, people are not regulating their intake of fatty cheeses. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. For example, customers might be buying a lot of cheese for big parties, hence it will be consumed by many people. Another example is the consumption of cheese over a longer period of time. In both examples, the individual consumption of cheese is not affected. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the facts about individual meat and cheese consumptions relative to those of people in the 1960's.

Second, the argument claims that the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, a vegetarian restaurant, make a modest living and those of House of Beef are millionaires. It thus suggests that people are consuming more red meat than vegetables. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the wealth of the owners and the general consumption of meat. While it can be assumed that House of Beef is making more money than Good Earth Cafe, the success cannot be solely attributed to more consumption of meat. The success of a business is dependent on various factors such as execution and marketing. If the argument had provided the overall sales of meat relative to those of organic fruits and vegetables, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing.

Finally, the argument assumes that the owners of House of Beef are wealthy because of the high sales of beef. It overlooks the possibility that a large portion of the owners' wealth might be sourced from other businesses or, in fact, a business selling organics and vegetables. Without any statistical data of individual consumptions and overall sales in both categories of food, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. As a result, the conclusion has no legs to stand on.

In summary, the argument is flawed and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all relevant facts. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.

PS: This is my first AWA try.

Thanks

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Hi! Can someone please evaluate my essay? Thanks!

The argument concludes that the the people are not as concerned about regulating the intake of red meat and fatty cheeses as they were a decade ago based on the selection of food items available at stores, and restaurants and their earnings. The argument considers three establishments. Heart's Delight, and old store that started by selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole grain flours has also entered the market of high butterfat cheeses. Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant making a modest living. And the House of Beef, earning in millions. The argument is flawed for two reasons.

The argument suggests that Heart's Delight entered the cheese market because the demand for fatty cheeses increased. Throught this the argument concluded that the people, in general, are not as concerned about their intake of fatty cheeses. However, other reasons could also lead to the increase in demand of the fatty cheeses, for example, population might have increased over the decade and hence the demand for fatty cheeses also increased. The argument should have provided evidence regarding the sales distribution of the fatty cheeses compared to organic fruits and vegetables.

Second, the argument does not consider the number of vegetarians compared to the number of non-vegetarians in the population. If the latter out-numbers the former by a huge margin, the the House of Beef is bound to earn a lot more than Good Earth Cafe, regardless of the people's concern about regulating their intake of red meat.

The article needs to consider evidence regarding the sales distribution of products in Heart's Delight and the population distribution of vegetarians to non-vegetarians to make the argument convincing.

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19 Jul 2021, 02:10

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Hi samyakj1412

Welcome to GMAT Club!

Where is the prompt your essay is based on?

I am assuming your essay is based on the following prompt

“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners ofthe new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”

If my assumption is correct then following is your score.

AWA Score: 5-5.5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

PS: Always post the prompt with the essay.

Good Luck

samyakj1412

samyakj1412

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19 Jul 2021, 04:01

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Thanks a lot! Sajjad1994

Sajjad1994

PS: Always post the prompt with the essay.

Good Luck

samyakj1412

Chandni93

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06 Aug 2021, 01:19

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Hi, please rate my essay!

The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles:

“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners ofthe new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”

The argument states that as compared to a decade ago, people today are not as concerned about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. The argument is based on the premise that Heart's Delight, a store that was started in the 1960s with the aim of selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours, also sells a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. The argument also makes a comparison between two restaurants, one selling vegetarian food and the other beef, and talks about how the owners of the restaurant selling beef are millionaires today, while the owners of the vegetarian restaurant are merely making a modest living. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. It also modifies facts and presents a distorted view of the situation. Therefore, the argument is unconvincing and falls apart at the seams.

First, the author readily assumes that because Heart's Delight, a restaurant started in the 1960s to sell organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours, has a wide selection of cheeses, people have therefore become unconcerned about their intake of fatty cheeses. The author makes an illogical correlation between the wide range of cheeses being sold to the nonchalance of people and their health. The author fails to provide any evidence regarding the number of cheeses that are on display as compared to the number of cheeses sold. There is also no information provided about whether such cheeses were being sold a decade earlier as well. We are told that this restaurant was opened in the 1960s and the author compares people's eating habits today to that of a decade ago. What about all the years in between the 1960s and today? The author seems to have conveniently missed making any such mention or comparison.

Second, the argument claims that people are not as concerned today as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat. This claim is based on the premise that because the owners of the new House of Beef restaurant are millionaires, people have increased their intake of red meat. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not provide any correlation between the restaurant's revenue and the increase of meat by people. What if the food is just better and the menu vaster than it is as the vegetarian restaurant next door? Or maybe the food at the vegetarian restaurant is just pathetic? Without any information provided comparing the two, or any statistics on the intake of red meat by the people over the years at House of Beef, this argument is highly weakened.

Finally, what is unclear is that the argument makes a generalized conclusion and states that "in general, people are not as concerned" when it really only makes a mention about two local restaurants and one store. How can the author make such a generalized statement, taking into account such little evidence and statistics? Had the author looked at over 100 restaurants in 30-40 different states or countries, and provided statistics and information on the same, this argument could have been a lot more convincing.

In summary, the argument is unconvincing due to the faulty assumptions, aforementioned. If the argument had drawn upon the examples and points as suggested and thereby plugged in the holes in the reasoning, it would have been far sounder on the whole.

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06 Aug 2021, 10:32

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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

Chandni93

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22 Aug 2021, 15:37

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The argument claims that people have started living an unhealthy lifestyle by ignoring their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. The conclusion of this argument is based on the premises that, a store that used to sell organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s has now also started selling a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Moreover, Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are not earning as much the owners of the House of Beef across the street earn. The conclusion of the argument relies on several assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the author readily assumes that by selling a selection of cheeses, a store is promoting unhealthy lifestyle. The author is overlooking the fact that just like fruits, vegetables and whole-grain flours, cheese is also highly nutritional if consumed in the appropriate amount. The author also fails to mention which products from the store are sold more which can help in evaluating if people are actually moving towards an unfit lifestyle or consuming highly nutritional products.

Second, there is no clear evidence that Good Earth Café earns less due to the sale of vegetarian items. It is possible that the food at the café is not of good quality. Another possibility why the café might not be working as well could be, because it is an old café, people have consumed as much as they could from it. The House of Beef, being a new café probably attracts more customers by advertising in a nice and modern way and by targeting the curiosity of people.

Finally, the author overlooks a major key factor which can help in evaluating the conclusion- House of Beef being a millionaire does not necessarily mean that they earned all of that from a new business. There is a high chance of them being previously wealthy which actually helped them to start their business and market it in such way that people are attracted to it.
Based on the evidences, we cannot conclude that people are neglecting their lifestyle by shifting to unhealthy food like red meat and fatty cheeses. Without having all this information, the argument is unsubstantiated and remains open to debate.

Someone please review mine too...?

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22 Aug 2021, 21:51

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I'm a bit confused on how to tackle this prompt.

“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”

Am I supposed to argue why the conclusion that "people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their meat and cheese intake" is wrong, or am I supposed to attack the anecdotal evidence?

My essay:

In the article, the author argues that people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulation their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. The author uses the evidence of an organic fruits and vegetables stores starting to now sell high butterfat cheeses, and an example of a beef restaurant making more money than a vegetarian restaurant. Despite this evidence, the author's argument is flawed because the author fails to take into account factors that might affect people's dietary habits such as cost, speed of service, and the fact that moderating meat and cheese does not mean a person can never eat those things.

First, the author fails to take into account that people might still want to regulate their intake of meat and cheese, but cannot afford to do so because they are cheaper than organic, vegetarian items. If you go to a fastfood restaurant such as Wendy's, the salad is usually twice as expensive as the hamburger. If a hamburger is $6 and a salad is $12, then a person could save $30 on a working week just by ordering hamburgers instead of salads. For a country where half its workers do not have anything in their bank accounts, the extra $30 is huge. Even though these people might want to regular their meat and cheese intake, they cannot afford to do so with the little money they have. Thus, the author fails to account for people putting saving money over eating healthy.

Secondly, the author assumes that people don't want to regulate their meat and fatty cheeses because the House of Beef makes more money than the vegetarian restaurant. However, author fails to account for another reason why this might be happening: the House of Beef might have faster service than the vegetarian restaurant. For many workers, they only have a 30 minute lunch break. If the House of Beef is a fast food joint, those workers would rather order from there than have to sit down at a vegetarian restaurant and wait for service. This might take over an hour, and at that point, the lunch break has ended half an hour ago and the worker is now fired. The customers might want to regulate their meat and cheese intake, but due to time constraints, they aren't able to.

Finally, the author uses evidence that the organic vegetable store started selling cheeses to implicate that people are not as concerned as they were about regulating their meat and cheese intake. However, just because people want to eat some meat and cheese in moderation does not mean that they don't care about regulating their intake. Meat and cheese taste good, and some people just want to cheat on their diet for one day. Additionally, adding cheese to a meal of vegetables can help kids become more willing to eat them instead of meat and other junk foods. Therefore, the author's argument that people are not concerned about regulating their meat and cheese intake are flawed.

In conclusion, the author's argument that people are not concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses is flawed. This is because the author fails to take into account that people can still be concerned, but other factors such as cost, speed of service, and the fact that moderating meat and cheese does not mean a person can never eat those things triumph these concerns. If the author wants to strengthen his argument, then he should survey people to see why they still eat fatty cheeses and meat and if they still care about regulating their intake.

Sajjad1994

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30 Aug 2021, 11:57

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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

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23 Oct 2021, 11:00

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Please rate this too. Thanks!

The argument claims that people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses since few places have started selling these foods and owners who serve these foods are millionaires compared to owners who don’t serve these. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

The argument assumes that the observation about a few of the places is representative of the whole population and people are in general not as concerned about regulating their red meat and cheese intake as they were a decade ago. It is a stretch as the argument fails to consider other possibilities which might lead to this behavior. For eg, there could be several places where these kinds of food are not eaten by people and the crowd at these places could be of youngsters passing their leisure time and not of the public as a whole. The argument could have been much clearer if it provided data regarding various places and the kind of food eaten by people at several other geographical locations.

The argument concludes by merely looking at the condition of Heart’s Delight, Good Café Earth, and House of Beef. The argument fails to consider that owners of the House of Beef could be millionaires due to some other reason. The owners might have a good business sense which would be giving them an edge over the owners at Good Earth restaurant. It might have changed itself with changing needs but owners at Good Earth might still be using traditional ways and hence failing to draw customers. The owners of the House of Beef might be making money through some different source of income. If the argument had provided evidence that selling those kinds of food made House of Beef millionaires then it would have been much more convincing.

Finally, the argument fails to mention the data regarding the customers eating behavior at several places and the reasons behind the conditions of the places mentioned. Without this data one is left with the impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
The argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned all the relevant facts. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.

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24 Oct 2021, 03:51

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AWA Score: 5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

Mahima1203

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30 Oct 2021, 13:01

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Could someone rate my response:

The author argues that people are generally less concerned about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses today than they were a decade ago. The support provided include claims that health food stores still carry fatty cheeses and are not as successful as the owners of the beef restaurant. Although the other scratches the surface of supporting their argument, there are a few holes in the reasoning. The author could also include additional evidence to strengthen their claim.

First, the author explains that a heath food store carries organic fruits and vegetables as well as high butterfat content. This introduces a false cause and effect thought pattern based on the information presented. The author is hinting that the owners of Heart's Delight is carrying fatty cheeses alongside their healthier options becayse people are not as concerned about regulating thier intake as they were a decade ago. The truth is we are not given any information as to why Heart's delight carries red meat and fatty cheeses. Perhaps the owners never intended to fully focus on strictly organic fruits and vegetables. Perhaps Heart's Delight is about eating food that comes directly from farm to table. In that case, the reasoning they have chosen to sell cheese is because the product market fit is in line with the purpose of the restaurant. Also, the author does not provide any evidence that indicates the cheese products are more or less successful than the veggies and fruits, which makes it difficult to measure its relevance to the argument.

Second, there could be many reasons as to why the Good Earth Cafe is making a modest living, especially in comparison to the new House of Beef restaurant across the street. One point specifically that is mentioned, is that the Good Earth Cafe is old and the House of Beef restaurant is new. Perhaps House of Beef has an online storefront where their products are shipped to grocers in various locations. An older restaurant, like Good Earth Cafe, may not have the ecommerce component, which could be contributing to its lack of success. This example demonstrates that a difference in profits may be due to ability to sell online where products are more accessible rather than a consumer's preference towards red meat and fatty cheeses vs healthier options.

Lastly, another reason that is not considered here is the costs involved. Perhaps the Beef restaurant has lower operating costs whereas the healthier restaurants have higher operating costs. This in turn could result in higher costs to the consumer, as most health foods do come at a cost. Therefore, without the cost and price information, it is impossible to know that the price may be what is causing less success for the health restaurants as compared to the beef restaurant.

There are a few different pieces of evidence that could strenghten the author's argument. Since the author's claim is related to a specific time frame, within the last decade, it would be helpful to compare the sales of a single restaurant today vs the sales a decade ago. That give more information with less variables about the performance of the Good Health vegetarian restaurant over time. On the other hand, the author could also provide more information to qualify that all restaurants have similar go to market channels and prices to take out those as concerns as to why one restaurant may be more successful over the next. Another data point the author could provide would be actual surveys given to consumers about their preferences for food choices today vs a decade ago.

In conclusion, the author's argument tht people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating thier intake of red meat and fatty cheeses is flawed in a number of areas. There is a lack of data that determines exactly why restaurants that sell these products are more successful than others. With additonal data points and less assumptions, the author would be in a better position to support their argument.

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31 Oct 2021, 07:02

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Welcome to GMAT Club!

AWA Score: 5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

caitlinmchugh

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05 Nov 2021, 18:22

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Hi! I Just started AWA prep. Please evaluate my essay and let me know your valuable inputs. Thanks in advance.

Prompt:
“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”

My essay:

The above argument states that the people aren't as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating the cheese and red meat intake by providing few examples such as how the Heart's delight once an organic store , now sells cheese with high butterfat content and how the owners of the new house of Beef are millionaires. This argument is substantially flawed. The argument presents inconclusive information, offering dubious support, and from this draws unreasonably far-fetching conclusions.

The evidence cited involves ambiguous language. For example, the argument asserts that the people are not as concerned as they were decades ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheese. Of course, people are concern about their intake universally but to what extent the past and the present opinion has changed is not clearly cited in the argument. They might have been liberal about their opinion to a certain extent decades ago but now they are even more liberal. That might have been the case. Simply by stating that the vegetarian restaurant are still making a modest living and stating the owners of the new house of Beef are millionaires , the author has failed to indicate whether the improvement is significant enough to merit or demerit any serious allegation stated in the argument.

Having provided with such questionable evidence , the people are not concerned. The facts of the past needn't hold true to the present day scenario as the recent technological advancement and studies might have proved that the red meat and fatty cheese are rich in proteins and consists of healthy fats that are essential for the humans, which might have made the people of the percent time to include meet and fatty cheese to be part of their diet. Even interpreting the questionable evidence in its most pessimistic light, we can expect that this one allegation will explode with serious consequences.

Supporting the above stated fact with questionable examples such as the organic store which once sold organic fruits and vegetables but now consists of wide selection of cheeses , vegetarian restaurant making a modest living and also the new house of beef becoming millionaires makes this conclusion far too flawed as there could be several reasons for the outcome mentioned in the examples. The store which once sold organic fruits and vegetables , now selling variety of cheeses made with high butter content could be supported by the above reason that the cheeses can be organic and consists of butterfat that are essential and good for health. The consumers might use cheese in a quantified amount as suggested, so that their diet is enriched with right amount of proteins from vegies, fruits and cheese. Similarly, the reason for the new house of Beef becoming millionaires could be not only because of the red meat consumption but also because of high demand across the countries for several purpose such as preparation of cattle feed or any other pet food etc. The claim that these meat stall owners became millionaires only by the meet consumption by the humans are overstated.

This argument is neither sound nor persuasive. The author has failed to convey any compelling reasons for us to conclude whether if the people are really not conscious about their intake or if there is a significant increase in their cheese and meat intake by providing us with examples which have gap.

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06 Nov 2021, 00:14

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AWA Score: 5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

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30 Nov 2021, 04:24

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Dear Sajjad1994 and other experts, I have my GMAT exam tomorrow. Kindly evaluate my AWA response and share your valuable feedback.

Thanks in advance.

My Response

The argument claims that people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. The conclusion of the argument is based on the premise that Heart’s Delight store, started selling cheeses made with high butterfat content and other examples which are not substantiated. The conclusion of the argument is based on assumptions, for which there is no clear evidence. Hence the argument is weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that the people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about the intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. The evidence cited uses ambiguous language. People might be concerned about their intake but to what extent in the past and the present is not cited in the argument. For example, they might have been liberal about their opinion to a certain extent decade ago but now they are even more liberal. The author fails to mention the correlation between the people’s concern and examples stated such as the vegetarian restaurant is still making a modest living and stating the owners of the new house of Beef are millionaires to substantiate the argument.

Second, the argument could have been much clearer if it provided the reasons behind people consuming or incorporating fatty cheese and red meat in their diet. Providing such questionable evidence that people are not as concerned as they were is a mere invalidated opinion. The facts of the past needn't hold to the present-day scenario as the recent technological advancement and studies might have proved that red meat and fatty cheese are rich in protein and consists of healthy fats that are essential for humans, which might have made the people of the present time include meat and fatty cheese to be part of their diet. Even interpreting the questionable evidence in its most pessimistic light, we can expect that this one allegation will explode with serious consequences.

Finally, the argument fails to mention one of the key factors based on which the argument could be evaluated. The reason for the adaption and growth mentioned in the argument is unsubstantiated. The Heart’s Delight store which once sold only organic fruits and vegetables now sells a variety of cheeses made with high butter content could be supported by the above reason that the cheeses can be organic and consists of butterfat that is essential and good for health. The consumers might use cheese in a quantified amount as suggested so that their diet is enriched with the right amount of proteins from veggies, fruits, and cheese. Similarly, the reason for the new house of Beef becoming millionaires could be not only because of the red meat consumption but also because of high demand across the countries for several purposes such as preparation of cattle feed or any other pet food, etc. The claim that these meat stall owners became millionaires only by the meet consumption by the humans is overstated. Without all the information, one is left with an impression that the argument is more of wishful thinking rather than a substantiated argument.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and therefore is unconvincing. The argument could be considerably strengthened if the author provided the relevant factors. To evaluate or access a certain situation or argument, one has to have all the relevant information and knowledge. Without the information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.

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30 Nov 2021, 05:22

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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

MiruChan

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30 Nov 2021, 05:28

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Here is the sample essay for you MiruChan

Sample Essay

Prompt:

“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”

Essay

The author of an article about lifestyle trends concludes that, in general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago with regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. As evidence, the author cites the fact that a wide selection of high-fat cheeses is now available at a long-established grocery store, Heart’s Delight, which specializes in organic fruits and vegetables and whole grains. The author further points out that the owners of the vegetarian restaurant next door, Good Earth Cafe, now make only a modest living while the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires. This argument is unconvincing.

To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that the dietary habits and attitudes of customers at these three businesses will reflect those of people generally. But the three businesses, all located in the same area of a single community, just might serve a clientele whose diets differ greatly from the diets of people in other areas of the community, or in other communities. The generalization that the author draws from this biased sample cannot be considered reliable.

In addition, trends at these three businesses do not necessarily reflect the dietary habits and attitudes of their customers in the way the author claims. For example, we are not informed about how well the high-fat cheeses at Heart’s Delight are selling relative to low-fat and nonfat alternatives. Similarly, it is possible that at House of Beef menu items other than red meat—such as chicken, fish, or salad bar—are just as popular as red meat among the restaurant’s patrons.

Finally, the author assumes that the financial conditions of the owners of the two restaurants were caused by a general lack of concern with regulating red meat and fatty-cheese intake. However, it is equally possible that the lackluster financial success of Good Earth was caused by mismanagement or increasing overhead costs. Furthermore, it is possible that House of Beef is generating little business, but its owners were already millionaires before they opened this restaurant or are making their money in other concurrent business endeavors.

In conclusion, the author’s evidence is too weak to support any conclusion about general dietary trends. Before we can accept the conclusion, the author must provide evidence from a representative sample of food-service businesses, and must clearly show that sates of red meat and fatty cheeses are increasing relative to sales of low-fat alternatives. The author must also provide evidence that the financial conditions of the owners of the two restaurants were actually caused by a general waning concern with regulating fat intake.