aimkp wrote:
following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine.
.On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer..
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The author’s main argument that department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly because of increase in the number of middle aged people who devote more proportion of their retail expenditure to department store products and services in comparison to young consumers do is flawed with several fallacies ( redundant). This line of reasoning is flawed with fallacies: consumers buying pattern will not change in future, middle aged group is surely going to increase, and loyalty of customers will not change by replacing existing products. ( This sentence can be better constructed. Sentence contains redundant words. )
The main argument is that department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly because of increase in the number of middle aged people who devote more proportion of their retail expenditure to department store products and services in comparison to young consumers do. While this reasoning may be true, there is possibility that with time shopping behavior of people especially middle aged consumers may change. For instance, people are becoming more technology friendly, and advancement in technology is bringing new trends in shopping:(incorrect use of colon) internet – online shopping. So, middle aged consumers may start preferring to buy retail items through new aged internet online shop stores rather than through conventional more time spending consuming department stores.
The other flawed reasoning is that to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer. Following this strategy may have reverse effect, because if department store presently replaces products for young consumers with then it will not be able to build loyal customers base who are in young age today but will be in middle age within next decade. Therefore, department stores will lose sales within next decade, because present young consumers when become middle aged then they will not be there their customers.
Finally, the invalid assumption that middle aged group of consumers will increase within next decade is not properly supported. There may be possibility that country will probably go in war in which today young people could lose their lives, leading to reduction in middle aged group in coming years as earlier predicted. Hence, department stores will not able to gain much business from middle aged people whose segment has dwindled. ( this point is too extreme )
To conclude, the author can strengthen this argument by considering other reasoning: in future, middle aged group of people may change their buying behavior from department stores to online stores with new technology, by replacing products attracting present young consumers may affect loyalty, and the projection that middle aged group will grow within next decade may not be valid.
aimkp You can however put that the author incorrectly implies that the likes and dislikes of people change with age. You can give a real scenario example.
If you are showing a contrast between department stores and online shopping, you could have mentioned- Department stores have a lot of overheads. Online shopping has advantages, more discounted, attractive rates. Etc... Something on these lines.
Also , you can read some essays written by others in the AWA blog to get a general idea and a structure of the essay. Avoid too extreme ideas, and proof read your essay after it is completed. Ideally , you should complete your essay in 25 mins and read your essay carefully for the last five minutes for grammatical and spelling mistakes.
Rohan
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