Project SC Butler: Day 60 Sentence Correction (SC1)
Babylon was the largest city in the world for hundreds of years, until 32 B.C. when it was conquered by Cyrus the Great, then king of Persia,
who, diverting the waters of the Euphrates, marched his invading army in the city on dry ground like the river had never existed.
A) who, diverting the waters of the Euphrates, marched his invading army in the city on dry ground like
B) who, when the waters were diverted, marched his invading army in on dry ground like
C) who had diverted the waters of the Euphrates, marching his invading army in on ground dried to be as if
D) who diverted the waters of the Euphrates and then marched his invading army into the city on dry ground as if
E) diverting the waters of the Euphrates and marching his invading army in on ground dried as if
OFFICIAL ANSWER• The first thing to recognize is that the king of Persia did all of these things in the past.
• Eliminate A for the word "diverting," which is present tense
• Eliminate E for repeating the mistake in A
• Next, at the end of the underlined portion is like or as if.
Since what follows is a clause, like is incorrect (like is a preposition [that is] followed only by nouns]
Eliminate B
• Choice C changes both underlined verbs to wrong verb tenses—had diverted is past perfect, and marching is present participle.
Eliminate C
The correct answer is D
COMMENTSmartinoco and
eswarchethu135 , glad to have your posts.
Hmm. That OE is not very well-organized.
Let's try splits, from easiest error to spot to hardest issue to resolve.
Split #1: LIKE vs. ASAt the end of A and B is the word
like.The word like can never be followed by a clause (look for a working verb) or a prepositional phrase.
Options A and B incorrectly state: . . . like
the river had never existed.--
had never existed is a verb
Eliminate A and B
Split #2: The word "ground" and its modifiersC) . . . his invading army in on ground dried to be as if
D) . . . his invading army [into the city] on dry ground as if
E) . . . his invading army in on ground dried as if
Options C and E are rhetorical and logical disasters.
Logic: After Cyrus diverted the Euphrates River, the ground was dry.
Syntax: Cyrus and his army marched into the city on dry ground, [so dry that it seemed] as if the river had never existed.
C) ground . . . "dried TO BE as if"
-- incorrectly implies intention.
dried to be implies that the ground was intentionally dried. By whom? Weather cannot have intention or purpose.
-- "dried" is a fairly verb-like past participle, an intentional act. We need an agent that dried the ground OR a that-clause
-- TO BE also suggests purpose or intention.
Not all infinitives express purpose! This one does.
Infinitives can be used to describe result or effect. Example-
We provide you with a weather alert: high winds will combine with heavy rains to produce flash floods and dangerous traveling conditions.
-- a better construction, still not as good as D: . . . on ground
that had dried as if the river had never existed.
By inserting "had," we correctly highlight "dried" while we also get away with not having an agent.
E) ground . . . "dried as if"
-- Repeats the "dried" error in C, and like C, not as good or effective as construction in D
-- Better construction, not as good as D, exactly the same as rewrite in C: . . . on ground
that had dried as if the river had never existed.
Omit C and E.
Other issues:• verbING modifiers - "participial modifiers"Careful.
1) "marched" can certainly modify the relative pronoun WHO.
B was conquered by Cyrus the great . . . who marched his army into the city on dry ground as if the river had never existed.
2) although
diverting is a present participle, the problem lies the tense suggestion (or lack thereof), not in the modification
He diverted the river before he marched.
"diverting" makes it sound as if he simultaneously diverted and marched.
Look at C. Who diverted the river? Cyrus.
Rewrite of A
Correct, because the
who clause describes Cyrus the Great:
Babylon was conquered by Cyrus the great, then king of Persia,
who,
having diverted the waters of the Euphrates, marched his invading army into the city on dry ground as if the river had never existed.
"Having diverted" is called a perfect participle, which is excellent for conveying completed action near in time to some other event.
You can read HERE about perfect participles , and you need read
no further than the linguist and grammarian John Lawler.
• marched INTO the city vs. marched IN on--
marched INTO the city ON dry ground is better than
marched IN ON ground dried.
marched INTO . . .-- INTO, a preposition, has an object: the city
-- ON, another preposition, has an object: dry ground
marched in on ground dried-- marched IN (to) where?
-- preposition IN + preposition ON
I would not eliminate an answer on the basis of preposition + preposition alone,
but I would be wary.
All of these answers contain at least some excellent analysis.
Honorable mention (smiley face) goes to
eswarchethu135The two best are those by
martinoco and
GKomoku - both get kudos for excellent answer. Well done!