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07 Sep 2018, 12:24
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Two years ago, City L was listed 14th in an annual survey that ranks cities according to the quality of life that can be
enjoyed by those living in them. This information will enable people who are moving to the state in which City L is
located to confidently identify one place, at least, where schools are good, housing is affordable, people are friendly,
the environment is safe, and the arts flourish.
Argument claims that City L was listed 14th in an annual survey for the quality of life and people who are moving there will have best in terms of schools, housing, etc. And also conclusion of the argument that schools, housing, friendly people and safe environment doesn't have substantial evidence to prove the author’s point. Hence the argument is weak and has several flaws.
Author assumes that City L is amazing place to live for best services its offering for its residents just by looking at the ranking. The ranking alone from an unknown or unreliable source cannot be shown as a concrete evidence. The argument must have been written by comparing to other cities which can give a solid support for why people can move here but not to other 13 cities. What if the City A is ranked 1 and has better services than City L? For discussion purposes, Amsterdam is the best city to live in the world as per US Economic Forum in the year 2016 and its offering best schools, safe environment for kids and elders, affordable housing, low inflation and lively atmosphere. Argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the assumptions by backing with evidence.
There is another assumption by the author that this ranking will enable people to move to this City. For any individual or family who are considering to move to a new place they will also look at the job markets, industries that particular city is known for, proximity to home from work, traffic situations, ability to grow in the career and lot of other factors. Argument doesnt mention any of these points to support the discussion.
The whole argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and very unconviving. In order to assess the merits of certain situation it is essential to have supporting data to prove the point. WIthout the information argument remains refuted and open to debate.
enjoyed by those living in them. This information will enable people who are moving to the state in which City L is
located to confidently identify one place, at least, where schools are good, housing is affordable, people are friendly,
the environment is safe, and the arts flourish.
Argument claims that City L was listed 14th in an annual survey for the quality of life and people who are moving there will have best in terms of schools, housing, etc. And also conclusion of the argument that schools, housing, friendly people and safe environment doesn't have substantial evidence to prove the author’s point. Hence the argument is weak and has several flaws.
Author assumes that City L is amazing place to live for best services its offering for its residents just by looking at the ranking. The ranking alone from an unknown or unreliable source cannot be shown as a concrete evidence. The argument must have been written by comparing to other cities which can give a solid support for why people can move here but not to other 13 cities. What if the City A is ranked 1 and has better services than City L? For discussion purposes, Amsterdam is the best city to live in the world as per US Economic Forum in the year 2016 and its offering best schools, safe environment for kids and elders, affordable housing, low inflation and lively atmosphere. Argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the assumptions by backing with evidence.
There is another assumption by the author that this ranking will enable people to move to this City. For any individual or family who are considering to move to a new place they will also look at the job markets, industries that particular city is known for, proximity to home from work, traffic situations, ability to grow in the career and lot of other factors. Argument doesnt mention any of these points to support the discussion.
The whole argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and very unconviving. In order to assess the merits of certain situation it is essential to have supporting data to prove the point. WIthout the information argument remains refuted and open to debate.
l1ll1ll1ll1ll1l
GMAT 3: 700 Q49 V35
Posts: 33
07 Sep 2018, 13:18
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anirudh91
There are quite a lot of grammatical errors and typos.
Also, the word count is on the shorter side. Try to boost word counts by adding descriptive sentences such as 'for example, for instance, to illustrate...'
From the structure of the essay, it's not clear what your points are. I have no idea what the 3rd paragraph is doing there.
I think the score would be around 3.
From GMAC
A Score of 3 Is Limited—A competent but clearly flawed critique of the argument, demonstrating some control of the elements of effective writing, and displaying the following characteristics:
Does not identify or analyze most of the important features of the argument, although some analysis is present
Is limited in the logical development and organization of ideas
Offers support of little relevance and value for points of the critique
Uses language imprecisely and/or lacks sentence variety
Contains occasional major errors or frequent minor errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
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