Hi everyone,
It is my first AWA and I will highly appreciate your comments on this peace of writing. Many thanks:))
The following appeared as part of a promotional campaign to sell advertising space in the Daily Gazette to grocery stores in the Marston area.
Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month. Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in the Gazette for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper head read the ad. Two-thirds of the 20 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.
The passage is aiming to convince the reader that the advertisement of the reduced prices on the selected groceries in the Daily Gazette will increase the sales.
The argument provides some evidence behind the conclusion. However, there are several factors that need to be addressed to convince the reader.
Firstly, the argument does not mention on what days of the week was the discount advertised in the local newspaper. Thus, the number of purchases may not be directly related to the advertisement, as usually, there are more customers doing shopping closer to the end of the week and/ or the weekend, rather than during the working days. To make the conclusion more affirmative, the article would benefit if the number of sales during specific days was compared to those on the same days of the week, when the advertisement was published in the newspaper.
Secondly, there is no information on the groceries that were advertised for sale. Thus, if these were commonly used products, it is highly probable that costumers purchased these because of to the need, rather than sale. Therefore, the conclusion would have been strengthened if during the study the surveyors asked, whether the clients purchased a particular product due to the need or because of the sale and the advertisement.
Thirdly, almost one third of all the shoppers purchased products for more than £100. This might indicate that the customers were doing weekly shopping and the products they purchased were mostly required items and only one or a few from the advertised sale. Finally, most of the people of younger generation currently use social media and the Internet as the main source of information, while older generation prefer reading daily newsletter. This would contradict to the conclusion of the argument, meaning that the research was mainly targeting specific group of people, who read this newspaper.
Overall, there are several points that make the argument not persuasive. If it included the items discussed above instead of focusing on the specific research outcome, the argument would have been more convincing.