Applications for advertising spots on KMTV, our local cable television

Question

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local paper:

Applications for advertising spots on KMTV, our local cable television channel decreased last year. Meanwhile a neighboring town’s local channel, KOOP, changed its focus to farming issues and reported an increase in advertising applications for the year. To increase applications for its advertisement spots, KMTV should focus its programming on farming issues as well.

Essay:

The author concludes KOOP’s programming change caused the increase in applications for its advertisement spots and such a change would elicit the same results at KMTV. The author provides an unpersuasive and illogical argument. Insufficient data and causality errors weaken the author’s conclusion.

The author is convinced the change in programming at KOOP increased advertising applications but does not provide sufficient evidence to draw the conclusion. A business takes steps every year to keep pace with market changes. We do not know what other changes took place at KOOP during the year that may have helped to increase advertising applications. The company may have lowered the price of their advertising slots and incentivized new applications that way. Correlation is not causality.

Secondly, the author makes a mistake assuming, what works at one local cable television channel will work at every one and that is simply false. Koop may have decided to switch their programming focus because they are located in an agricultural community. What kind of community does KMTV serve? What are the demographics of KMTV’s audience?

Vague words like “decreased” weaken the argument. The first sentence reads applications decreased last year but provides no other information. By how much did applications decrease at KMTV and increase at KOOP. These numbers are important to begin brainstorming all the possible reasons why advertising applications went down at KMTV. Cable television is becoming outdated with online streaming services and companies are now changing where they spend their advertising dollars.

The argument provides an inaccurate causal effect thus making a dangerous assertion.

MahmoudFawzy · Answer

my 2 cents (from a non-expert):

1- "KOOP’s programming change caused the increase in applications for its advertisement spots" is part of the premise, not part of the author's conclusion.
2- it is an Analogy argument as the author concludes that mimicking KOOP would bring the same result for KMTV (not a cause effect)
3- Don't to attach the premise. you have to deal with it as a true fact.
4- you proposed that their may be other factors (which is right) besides the change to farming issues.
5- you started emphasizing the analogy flaw in paragraph 2 (which is correct). You have to mention it in the introduction and conclusion.
6- Decreased is not a vague word. (vague words are such as some, may, few). It will not matter how much it decreased. There is a fact that it decreased and this is an issue that the author was trying to solve.
7- you have good arrangement of paragraphs, but you have several grammatical mistakes which can be easily avoided by using shorter sentences.
8- You proposed that "Cable television" is outdated. so how can you explain the increase witnessed by KOOP? Your task is not to provide solutions. your task is to find find flaws in the argument, then provide ideas on how to strengthen the argument (such as investigating certain information or statistics which lead to better evaluation)
9- "Dangerous" is not an appropriate word to describe as assertion.

MahmoudFawzy · Answer

For further improvement:
1) try to memorize this template:  https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6-0-awa-my-guide-64327.html 
2) this playlist is simple and to the point:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mE_XP8Wewo&list=PL560775B17C79CAA3

DisciplinedPrep · Answer

To be sure, AWA section does not test your ability to make strong arguments; instead, it tests your ability to write good business English. That said, you should still be able to make a decent argument by highlighting weaknesses in the author's argument, and offering strengtheners.  Mahmoudfawzy83  has beautifully and painstakingly pointed out most of the grammar & usage issues. However, my biggest concern with your essay is the word limit. No, length is not a definitive measure to score hight but a 259 words essay will definitely fetch you a low score. I would recommend you to increase the size of the overall essay; you can do so by increasing the length of the sentences and paragraphs. Also, you should choose structural keywords diligently. For instance, if you choose to start a paragraph with the keyword 'Secondly', as you have done, you should start the other paragraphs with Firstly and Lastly. Therefore, focus on these aspects of the essay to get a higher score. All the best.

svelaga · Answer

Please rate my essay.

The prompt makes the case that since the KOOP channel has observed an increase in sales after it started focusing on farming issues, KMTV which was earlier observing a decrease in sales, for it switching to farming issues will lead to increase in sales as well. Though the argument is compelling at the face value however when deeply examined brings forward several flaws which undermines the conclusion of the argument as a whole.
First the argument claims that KOOP channel observed an increase in its sales because of switching its focus on farming issues. While farming plays a major role in the economy of the nation and can attract a lot of consumers, however it fails to draw any direct correlation. The increased sale on spots on KOOP can be due to a variety of reasons like improved marketing, higher reach, and enhanced quality and so on. The claim by the argument will hold if there have been no other modifications in the channel other than switching its focus.
With a flawed assumption, the KMTV plans to focus its programming on farming issues with the intention of increasing its sales. This proposition is faulty as the concerned authorities fail to determine the causes which led to a decrease in its sales at the first place. The decrease in sales for KMTV could be due to a variety of reasons like inferior quality, lesser reach, and lesser availability of spots and so on. For KMTV to be successful in its plan, had the earlier assumption regarding KOOP channel was right, it needs to be ensure that there has been no other factors diminishing its sales. 
Finally, KOOP channel belongs to the neighboring area, where the factors for determining the sales of the channel will be different from that of KMTV channel belonging to a different area. Moreover, no information has been given about the demographics, the preference of the people in the area or similarities of any kind between the populations of the two areas. Therefore, considering that the scheme which works on one area’s local cable television will work for the other one as well, is faulty.
Therefore, the argument is based on several logical fallacies and is unconvincing for the above mentioned reasons. It can be strengthened further if the author mentions all the relevant facts associated with the assumptions.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5 - 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and Connectivity: 5
The essay maintains a coherent structure with clear transitions between ideas. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother, particularly in the opening sentence and between paragraphs.

Word Structure: 5.5
The essay demonstrates a good level of word structure. It uses varied sentence structures effectively. There are only minor issues with sentence clarity and word choice.

Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5
The essay effectively employs paragraph structure and formation. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point and contains a clear topic sentence. However, there is room for improvement in making the paragraphs more concise and the overall organization more efficient.

Language and Grammar: 5.5
The essay generally displays good language and grammar usage. It effectively conveys ideas and maintains a formal tone. There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for better clarity and readability.

Vocabulary and Word Expression: 5
The essay employs a reasonable range of vocabulary and word expression. It effectively communicates the points but could benefit from more precise and varied word choices in some places to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Overall, this essay provides a well-reasoned critique of the argument, highlighting its flaws and presenting alternative explanations. With minor improvements in coherence and vocabulary, it could achieve an even higher score.

Applications for advertising spots on KMTV, our local cable television

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