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22 Mar 2021, 15:08
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Here is Random Prompt I choose
The following appeared as part of an editorial in a campus newspaper:
“With an increasing demand for highly skilled workers, this nation will soon face a serious labor shortage. New positions in technical and professional occupations are increasing rapidly, while at the same time the total labor force is growing slowly. Moreover, the government is proposing to cut funds for aid to education in the near future.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
My Essay Response
The author of the editorial states that the government is proposing to cut funding for sources of education based on the assumptions in which the labor force is heading. This statement presents a faulty assumption based on vaugue language, a faulty assumption in causality, and an overconfident solution.
The newspaper states that there is an increasing demand for “highly skilled workers”, but states that positions that are increasing include “technical and professional occuptations”. Software Engineers, Coders, and Analysts, to name a few, are professions that require a particular set of high-quality skills, do these persons not fall under the “highly skilled” category as stated in the editorial? By defining what presumed highly skilled workers are, there would be a possibility of answering this question.
This editorial argues that there is an increase in demand, with limited supply in the labor market. Although there is an increase in supply for technical and professional occupations, the demand of the total labor force is growing slowly, hence the following question is: is this “slow” growth going to meet the demand of the labor market? If the labor market demand is growing at 5% over the next 10 years and the supply, being students who are studying to meet labor market requirements, are growing at a 4.7% rate over the next 3 years then there will eventually be a break-even point in which demand will meet supply. Although this 4.7% rate of supply may seem like a smaller percentage than the 5% rate of demand, the timeline for supply is much shorter which will hence outpace the timeline for demand.
Given this information, the government has concluded that it will propose to cut funds for education. This overconfident solution will cut government spending for all education, including those that are required for “highly skilled workers”. It is important to keep in mind that education includes those of technical and professional occupations, and includes vocational training dedicated to train labor intensive occupations such as carpenters, nurses, and mechanics.
This argument would be considered stronger if it defined what the qualifications are for highly skilled workers as well as which education programs the government proposes to cut fundig from. Additonally, providing statistics to quantify the Law of Supply and Demand would make the argument of this editorial piece much stronger. This editorial proposes a weak argument .
My own feedback/notes:
• Didn’t have time to review –
o Kept going back to the prompt
o Self-Suggestions:
Make OUTLINE – might save me more time in the long run
• Include in which order you will state flaws
• Last sentence of concluding paragraph seems off to me – could’ve been due to time time management
The following appeared as part of an editorial in a campus newspaper:
“With an increasing demand for highly skilled workers, this nation will soon face a serious labor shortage. New positions in technical and professional occupations are increasing rapidly, while at the same time the total labor force is growing slowly. Moreover, the government is proposing to cut funds for aid to education in the near future.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
My Essay Response
The author of the editorial states that the government is proposing to cut funding for sources of education based on the assumptions in which the labor force is heading. This statement presents a faulty assumption based on vaugue language, a faulty assumption in causality, and an overconfident solution.
The newspaper states that there is an increasing demand for “highly skilled workers”, but states that positions that are increasing include “technical and professional occuptations”. Software Engineers, Coders, and Analysts, to name a few, are professions that require a particular set of high-quality skills, do these persons not fall under the “highly skilled” category as stated in the editorial? By defining what presumed highly skilled workers are, there would be a possibility of answering this question.
This editorial argues that there is an increase in demand, with limited supply in the labor market. Although there is an increase in supply for technical and professional occupations, the demand of the total labor force is growing slowly, hence the following question is: is this “slow” growth going to meet the demand of the labor market? If the labor market demand is growing at 5% over the next 10 years and the supply, being students who are studying to meet labor market requirements, are growing at a 4.7% rate over the next 3 years then there will eventually be a break-even point in which demand will meet supply. Although this 4.7% rate of supply may seem like a smaller percentage than the 5% rate of demand, the timeline for supply is much shorter which will hence outpace the timeline for demand.
Given this information, the government has concluded that it will propose to cut funds for education. This overconfident solution will cut government spending for all education, including those that are required for “highly skilled workers”. It is important to keep in mind that education includes those of technical and professional occupations, and includes vocational training dedicated to train labor intensive occupations such as carpenters, nurses, and mechanics.
This argument would be considered stronger if it defined what the qualifications are for highly skilled workers as well as which education programs the government proposes to cut fundig from. Additonally, providing statistics to quantify the Law of Supply and Demand would make the argument of this editorial piece much stronger. This editorial proposes a weak argument .
My own feedback/notes:
• Didn’t have time to review –
o Kept going back to the prompt
o Self-Suggestions:
Make OUTLINE – might save me more time in the long run
• Include in which order you will state flaws
• Last sentence of concluding paragraph seems off to me – could’ve been due to time time management
22 Mar 2021, 15:33
Kudos
Bookmarks
Welcome to GMAT Club!
If you had picked this topic as a random choice, I could have evaluated it using the official software:
https://gmatclub.com/forum/official-gma ... 51704.html ....
Using the unofficial AWA grader GMATAWA, here is what I have:
Please do not forget to use the Chineseburnt AWA Template!
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html
P.S. Do not use the words firstly and secondly.... use First or Second or Another....
If you had picked this topic as a random choice, I could have evaluated it using the official software:
https://gmatclub.com/forum/official-gma ... 51704.html ....
Using the unofficial AWA grader GMATAWA, here is what I have:
AWA Score: 4 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay. I think some of your long introduction has confused the essay grader since your "Firstly appeared only in the third paragraph". I tried deleting your first 2 paragraphs and that bumped the score up to 4.5 though it bumped the cohesion score down to 3.5. In any case, it proves that MORE is not always BETTER
Coherence and connectivity: 1.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay. I think some of your long introduction has confused the essay grader since your "Firstly appeared only in the third paragraph". I tried deleting your first 2 paragraphs and that bumped the score up to 4.5 though it bumped the cohesion score down to 3.5. In any case, it proves that MORE is not always BETTER
Coherence and connectivity: 1.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Please do not forget to use the Chineseburnt AWA Template! https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html
P.S. Do not use the words firstly and secondly.... use First or Second or Another....
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