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19 Jul 2021, 04:52
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Hi there! My GMAT is in a week, and I have been practicing on the AWA section. However, I cannot precisely review what I have written. It would be a massive help to me if you can review my work. I have used the Chineseburned AWA template.
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The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
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The argument claims that costs of processing go down as an organisation gains more experience, thereby learning how to do things better and more efficiently. The argument further states that because Olympic Foods will soon be completing 25 years of operations, it is expected that the long experience will enable the company to minimise its costs and earn maximum profit. Stated in this way, the argument omits certain key factors which are crucial for evaluating it, thereby reflecting a poor logical reasoning and a distorted view of the situation. Therefore the argument lacks important evidence and is unsubstantiated and open for debate. This essay discusses the gaps in the logical pathway on which the conclusion of this argument is based.
Firstly, the argument readily assumes that organisations drive their processing costs lower because they learn how to do things better as they gain more experience. While one may understand that an experience of operations certainly develops an expertise and therefore becomes more efficient, it is a hollow claim to link efficiency in operations to minimising costs entirely. Gaining experience an organisation would learn how to better manage its resources and develop better standard operating procedures which eventually lead to increased efficiency. Increased efficiency could be a factor that leads to lower costs, however to state that is the sole driver of lower costs, without providing any evidence for the same, makes this a weak argument.
Secondly, the argument gives an example of the reduced cost of color film processing from 1970 to 1984, to illustrate that an increased experience leads to higher efficiency which results in lower costs. However, the argument distorts a statement and presents it to reflect in favour of its conclusion without providing any substantial evidence. For example, technological improvements over time could have driven this change. While it is acceptable to say that the usage of one process over the years would help to gain technological improvements over time such that researchers could better know on what to improve further, it is unacceptable to attribute an gain because of technological advancement to one organisation that operates in the market that has gained from the said improvements. There could be other factors too that led to such a change in colour processing. Supply and demand of a service directly impact the costs of goods. For example, a cellular phone that costed 100 dollars ten years back would cost way lower than 100 dollars. This could be attributed to the advent of smartphones and economies of scale. All in all, the example illustrated here to reach to the conclusion clearly lacks the evidence it needs to do so. Had the argument stated how improved efficiency because of gained experience throughout the year made color processing costs change over the years rather than simply stating a general fact, the argument would had made a logical sense.
Thirdly, the argument’s conclusion stated that because Olympic foods will soon be celebrating its 25th birthday, it is expected that they will be able to minimise costs and thus maximise profit. Along with the gaps in the reasoning as stated above, it is crucial to know more about the operations of Olympic foods. Without knowing the company’s history of operations, one cannot simply state that a higher number of operational year translate to higher experience in an industry. For example, ITC Ltd used to be a cigarette manufacturer before it completely revamped itself as a hospitality brand. Clearly, one cannot say that because ITC ltd had years of experience in the tobacco industry, it excelled in hospitality too. It could be a contributing factor, but definitely not the sole factor.
Because the argument leaves out several key issues, as discussed above, it is not sound or persuasive. In order to assess the merits or demerits of a certain situation, it is imperative to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors and their relationship with each other. The above-mentioned gaps in the logical reasoning of the argument point towards the issues that need to be further investigated before readily assuming the conclusion to be true. Including the aforementioned issues instead of simply stating an isolated fact and to use it to lead to an illogical conclusion, the argument would had been more thorough and convincing.
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Word Count: 712
Time taken: 29 min 40 seconds.
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Once again, I am truly grateful to your help!! Thank you so much in advance for reviewing my essay.
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The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
-----
The argument claims that costs of processing go down as an organisation gains more experience, thereby learning how to do things better and more efficiently. The argument further states that because Olympic Foods will soon be completing 25 years of operations, it is expected that the long experience will enable the company to minimise its costs and earn maximum profit. Stated in this way, the argument omits certain key factors which are crucial for evaluating it, thereby reflecting a poor logical reasoning and a distorted view of the situation. Therefore the argument lacks important evidence and is unsubstantiated and open for debate. This essay discusses the gaps in the logical pathway on which the conclusion of this argument is based.
Firstly, the argument readily assumes that organisations drive their processing costs lower because they learn how to do things better as they gain more experience. While one may understand that an experience of operations certainly develops an expertise and therefore becomes more efficient, it is a hollow claim to link efficiency in operations to minimising costs entirely. Gaining experience an organisation would learn how to better manage its resources and develop better standard operating procedures which eventually lead to increased efficiency. Increased efficiency could be a factor that leads to lower costs, however to state that is the sole driver of lower costs, without providing any evidence for the same, makes this a weak argument.
Secondly, the argument gives an example of the reduced cost of color film processing from 1970 to 1984, to illustrate that an increased experience leads to higher efficiency which results in lower costs. However, the argument distorts a statement and presents it to reflect in favour of its conclusion without providing any substantial evidence. For example, technological improvements over time could have driven this change. While it is acceptable to say that the usage of one process over the years would help to gain technological improvements over time such that researchers could better know on what to improve further, it is unacceptable to attribute an gain because of technological advancement to one organisation that operates in the market that has gained from the said improvements. There could be other factors too that led to such a change in colour processing. Supply and demand of a service directly impact the costs of goods. For example, a cellular phone that costed 100 dollars ten years back would cost way lower than 100 dollars. This could be attributed to the advent of smartphones and economies of scale. All in all, the example illustrated here to reach to the conclusion clearly lacks the evidence it needs to do so. Had the argument stated how improved efficiency because of gained experience throughout the year made color processing costs change over the years rather than simply stating a general fact, the argument would had made a logical sense.
Thirdly, the argument’s conclusion stated that because Olympic foods will soon be celebrating its 25th birthday, it is expected that they will be able to minimise costs and thus maximise profit. Along with the gaps in the reasoning as stated above, it is crucial to know more about the operations of Olympic foods. Without knowing the company’s history of operations, one cannot simply state that a higher number of operational year translate to higher experience in an industry. For example, ITC Ltd used to be a cigarette manufacturer before it completely revamped itself as a hospitality brand. Clearly, one cannot say that because ITC ltd had years of experience in the tobacco industry, it excelled in hospitality too. It could be a contributing factor, but definitely not the sole factor.
Because the argument leaves out several key issues, as discussed above, it is not sound or persuasive. In order to assess the merits or demerits of a certain situation, it is imperative to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors and their relationship with each other. The above-mentioned gaps in the logical reasoning of the argument point towards the issues that need to be further investigated before readily assuming the conclusion to be true. Including the aforementioned issues instead of simply stating an isolated fact and to use it to lead to an illogical conclusion, the argument would had been more thorough and convincing.
-----
Word Count: 712
Time taken: 29 min 40 seconds.
----
Once again, I am truly grateful to your help!! Thank you so much in advance for reviewing my essay.
19 Jul 2021, 11:06
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AWA Score: 4 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
One possible reason for this lower score is paraphrasing, rephrasing may increase your score.
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 2.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 2.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
One possible reason for this lower score is paraphrasing, rephrasing may increase your score.
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 2.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 2.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Please observe the AWA subforum rules while posting your next one in the same.
Read the rules here: https://gmatclub.com/forum/awa-forum-ru ... 64141.html
Good Luck
divsu
19 Jul 2021, 11:37
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Sajjad1994
Thank you so much for your help!!
Really appreciate it.
I will definitely be more mindful of following the rules. I'll go through them.
Thank you once again!
