Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve

Question

The following is the prompt that came in the exam:

The following appeared in an article in a health–and–fitness magazine:
 
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.” 
 
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counter examples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

the following is my answer:

The health-and-fitness- magazine's article talks about some laboratory studies that show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria to demonstrate that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water is more beneficial than drinking tap water and thus a wise investment. This argument is flawed in various spectrums, especially that it is not detail oriented in the research it brings forward, and that it assumes a lot of factors that lack any ground in reality. Thus, this argument is faulty, unreliable and does not have any legs to stand on.

Coming to the first statement of the argument stating that some laboratory studies show that Saluda Spring Water is full of necessary minerals and devoid of any bacteria. This statement, although looking strong when stated in this way lacks a lot of details such as the reliability of the study concerning the scope of its samples, and the scientific methods used to test these samples. If the laboratory tested only for the good minerals, but ignored the presence of other minerals and their quantities which could be detrimental to health, then the whole argument regarding health benefits falls down. Additionally, if the scientific methods used to test the water were not advanced enough, there is a chance of presence of bacteria in the water which the tests couldn't conclusively find.

Coming to the second and third statement, wherein it is stated that just because the people of Saluda are hospitalized less frequently than the national average, it points to the fact that Saluda Natural Spring water is healthier than tap water. This statement essentially assumes the causality between the spring water and the health of people of Saluda. There could very well be other factors that are proving beneficial for the people of Saluda such as, availability of good healthcare services, healthy well-balanced diets and active lifestyle of the people.

The last statement advises to drink Natural spring water rather than tap water without providing any details regarding the composition of the tap water. If there aren't many differences in the mineral composition between those two, then it would not make economical sense for the people to pay significantly more for the spring water.

Based o all these points, the stated argument loses any realistic ground. This article would've been much more reliable if it would've included some details regarding the lab studies as well as some survey details regarding the lifestyle of the people of Saluda.

Please review my answer. experts  bb   Sajjad1994

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Chitra657 · Answer

Thank you so much for the quick reply  Sajjad1994

Posted from my mobile device

avlachos99 · Answer

Could you please evaluate my essay? Thank you in advance!

Prompt:

The following appeared in an article in a health–and–fitness magazine:

“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”

Response:

The author of the article considers drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water a wise investment in good health, because it contains minerals important for good health and no bacteria, and because the inhabitants of the town in which it is bottled are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. At first glance, the argument seems to have some merit, but after further scrutiny, several flaws can be revealed.

Firstly, the presence of healthy minerals and the absence of bacteria are, indeed, a good indicator for Saluda Natural Spring Water. However, in order to recommend it over tap water, the author clearly assumes that tap water has a composition that is less healthier. As much as that could be the case, the opposite could also be true, since no relevant information is provided. Tap water might contanin as many as, if not more, minerals as Saluda Natural Spring Water and no bacteria as well. The conclusion would have been better supported if the author cited data about the synthesis of tap water.

Secondly, the author cites that residents of Saluda, where Saluda Natural Spring Water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average as evidence in favour of his conclusion. Nevertheless, this fact, as stated, cannot support the conclusion for two reasons. On the one hand, bottling the water in a region does not necessitate that the same water is consumed in that region and not exported elsewhere. On the other hand, even if Saluda Natural Spring Water is drunk by Saluda residents in greater amounts than it is in other regions of the nation, other reasons may apply for the reduced hopsitalization rates. For instance, Saluda may be in a high altitude or in a forested area; Saluda residents may exercise more than the national average. All these are factors that could contribute to the physical well being of Saluda residents and, therefore, reduce their hospitalization rates.

Finally, the author mentions that the branded water is an expensive option that, according to his opinion, is worth the investment. This line of reasoning can be hindered by opportunity cost. In this case, opportunity cost refers to what an individual could spend his money on instead of on the bottled water. More specifically, instead of buying several bottles of Saluda Natural Spring Water a month, one could invest the same money in a gym membership, in an equally healthy but less expensive bottled water or in other activities or products that would contribute to his health. The author would definitely strenthen his line of reasoning had he depicted Saluda Natural Spring Water's superiority to a wider range of alternatives than merely to tap water.

In conclusion, the argument presented in the article is, as it stands, unconvincing. Assumptions such as the superior synthesis of the branded water to that of tap water, unsubstansiated correlations such as the reduced hospitalization rate in the region where the watter is bottled and absence of analysis of other alternatives are all issues the author should address in order to enhance the validity of his conclusion.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5.5 - 6 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5 
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5  
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5 
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve

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